Divorced Catholics keeping company a grave sin

[GailMac]

Thank you Suslar for chiming in! Faithfulness speaks for itself. I too get distressed sometimes over this topic, but to be honest, I really don’t know enough about the folks in the pews to know which marriage they are on or if they’re even married. I pretty much keep to myself.

I would like to add I am a widow and have been for quite a few years. I was widowed early, at 26. I have chosen to stay that way. Although I am technically “free” to marry, and have been told so by my priest, I don’t want to. Fortunately I have been spared the angst some women go through facing the prospect of living “alone” for the “rest of their lives.” Yes, in some regards my life would be simpler if I chose to re-marry, but I have accepted this sacrifice and am comfortable with my decision.

I remember going through RCIA and being told by the priest ministering to us I was “free” to marry. I didn’t even give it a second thought, my mind was already made up to say “no” to marriage. That was 13 years ago.

I think the silent witness this gives to those who know me on a daily basis is cool. I also think God is happy with me on some level for the sacrifice. Thank you for yours.

Peace,

Gail

 

[wynnejj]

It seems to me that some old-time rules of propriety would be in order here. If you are divorced but not annulled, and if you are keeping regular company and seen in public as such with someone else, then you are not only tempting yourself repeatedly but are giving scandal. Under no circumstances should you be seen spending time alone with the other at your/their house or other secret rendezvous, as this is more explicitly giving scandal (at least according to old-time rules of propriety). On the other hand, it may be therapeutic to set down to dinner with someone very occasionally who may have gone through what you have gone through and see the other sex’ point of view. You know as I’m saying this, I’m realizing a potential pitfall of such a view. Maybe one party understands the rules, maybe both, but maybe one or the other is just too vulnerable to keep to such rules. Regardless, those who see people in a public setting who are not regularly seen together should be charitable in their perception of the scenario. Perceiving scandal is often in the mind’s eye of the beholder, and says more about rash judgement than good judgement.

 

[Suslar]

My brother accompanied my young daughter and I to Mass on Sunday. He was affectionate (approriately) to her and held our hands during the Our Father. He kissed us both on our cheeks at the sign of peace and said, “love you.” She sat on his lap for a time. Oh, the scandal! All the little old ladies’ tounges were wagging about my “new boyfriend” and the “public displays of affection.” It wasn’t until our assoc. pastor introduced him as my brother to other members of the congregation that things started to settle down. See how completely innocent, totally public scenarios have a way of growing into scandal? I mean, my BROTHER? As a “boyfriend”??? ICK doesn’t even begin to describe it . . . .