Divorced, Not Annulled, Planning on remarrying

[milimac]

A good friend and fellow Catholic whose divorce was finalized last month informed me that she is pregnant. The father (not her ex-husband) is also Catholic. She found out she was pregnant about the same time her divorce was finalized. She and the father had been good friends for many years and had begun dating after the divorce was filed about a year ago.

Despite her mistakes, she can’t change history and I believe she wants to do the right thing going forward. The annulment process has not yet been started. Before this all soaked in, she asked that if they were to get married (a civil marriage obviously) if I would come to their wedding. I said sure. Now I’m having second thoughts as I think about what this means. Assuming they end up continuing with their plan to get married, what’s the proper way to support my friend?

Incidentally, I was surprised when I first logged into the Moral Theology forum today to find a similar topic at the top of the list to what I was going to post. My problem is different enough that I won’t corrupt the other thread and so have posted this new one.

 

[formercatholic]

A good friend and fellow Catholic whose divorce was finalized last month informed me that she is pregnant. The father (not her ex-husband) is also Catholic. She found out she was pregnant about the same time her divorce was finalized. She and the father had been good friends for many years and had begun dating after the divorce was filed about a year ago.

Despite her mistakes, she can’t change history and I believe she wants to do the right thing going forward. The annulment process has not yet been started. Before this all soaked in, she asked that if they were to get married (a civil marriage obviously) if I would come to their wedding. I said sure. Now I’m having second thoughts as I think about what this means. Assuming they end up continuing with their plan to get married, what’s the proper way to support my friend?

Incidentally, I was surprised when I first logged into the Moral Theology forum today to find a similar topic at the top of the list to what I was going to post. My problem is different enough that I won’t corrupt the other thread and so have posted this new one.

The Right Thing? Since when is ADULTERY the right thing and then to complicate it with a public and permanent scandal by living together? What a childish and self-serving solution!

Your friend and her lover are disgusting. These reprobates make it easier each time to degrade marriage, parenthood, children, family…etc.

Tell her to publically repent of her sins and her lover as well and live separately and immediately stop seeing each other except to
make arrangements for the new child, who is the only innocent involved.

If your friends are interested in the FACTS they should pursue an annulment decision from the Roman Rota ONLY. A decision from a U.S. tribunal is very questionable. Rome will give you the truth.

If they cannot wait, then they do not care about anyone but themselves and are using the child as an excuse for scandal. This is an everyday scenario and it is time the Catholic Church starts sanctioning people creating such situations because they cannot keep from jumping into bed with another person when the going gets tough. It is a transparent lie.

When they first THOUGHT about dating they were both guilty of ADULTERY and should have known better. It is all B.S…

They knew what they were doing, it was NOT A MISTAKE.

Both need to grow up, get the Roman decision and go from there.
Anything else, even if OK’d by a priest, canonist or theologian is B.S. and is contributing to the attack on families, which the Catholic Church is encouraging by failing to sanction such public, open sexual misconduct.

Check this out … Moral theology FORBIDS doing eveil so that good may result. Living with your adulterous lover, even as brother and sister, is inherently evil and is a scandal to others(regardless of what the LEARNED may say) and CREATES more evil, making more room for evil. If you cannot see this you are lost.

I am sorry if this is “offensive” but I am damn tired of this scenario and the Catholic Church should be too.

False charity is far worse than “fire and brimestone” and loses far more souls through its scandals.