Do I have any right talking to God when

[Maria1212]

Others have given you excellent advice. Going to Confession is an act of courage and it takes humility and grace to want to make things right with God.

I often get terrified to go to Confession. When I am feeling that way it is when I need it the most. If it sounds too overwhelming, find a church where no one knows you, arrive there early so you will be there the whole time confessions are being heard. Kneel in the pew and pray. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. I know it has literally been the Holy Spirit that has gotten me from the pew to inside the Confessional. The fear hasn`t killed me yet.

You will experience such a wonderful gift of grace and peace. You might not fully understand why we need Confession until you receive absolution. When you doubt, remind yourself that God knows best. I don`t always understand why the Church teaches a particular thing sometimes, but I defer to the Church because that is how God set it up for us and I know He knows best. Some things I am just not meant to know. At least not right now anyway.

I will be praying for you. Remember that God is waiting for you inside that Confessional. Please don`t leave him waiting. I need to go to Confession too and hope to go this weekend depending on my work schedule. I will be praying for you and hope you will go too.

Sincerely,

Maria1212

 

[Elizabeth502]

I often get terrified to go to Confession. When I am feeling that way it is when I need it the most…

Remember that God is waiting for you inside that Confessional. Please don`t leave him waiting.

Amen, sister!

 

[limabeanerson]

I think everyone has given you great advice here and I’d just like to add one more thing…

With the knowledge of how hard it was to finally confess these sins (after you do), how much less likely are you to repeat them!

I know I’ve struggled with what I assume is the same issue you. Since I’ve confessed to my priest I have not repeated the sin. I have often been VERY tempted but knowing that if I give in I will have to repeat the embarrassment of confessing it has helped keep me strong.

I can tell you from my experience I was trying to make up any excuse not to go confess but thanks to the encouraging words of many people here at Catholic.com I finally went (after 15+ years!). I was VERY scared but it was worth it! I can’t imagine a better feeling than walking out of the Church after confession, knowing you are forgiven!

God Bless!

 

[Advocatus_Fidei]

When you commit a mortal sin you become God’s enemy and must be reconciled with Him through the sacrament of reconciliation/penance/confession.

If your sins are concerning abusing yourself sexually all you need to do is tell the priest you have committed X amount of sins of impurity you don’t need to go into detail. Are you sure that you aren’t just making excuses because you are embarrassed to admit to them? Your supposed to be embarrassed don’t let that stop you from been reconciled with God, you will not find the reconciliation you need in any other Church than the one God have given the power to bind and loosen sins.

 

[FrCorey]

When you commit a mortal sin you become God’s enemy and must be reconciled with Him through the sacrament of reconciliation/penance/confession.

If your sins are concerning abusing yourself sexually all you need to do is tell the priest you have committed X amount of sins of impurity you don’t need to go into detail. Are you sure that you aren’t just making excuses because you are embarrassed to admit to them? Your supposed to be embarrassed don’t let that stop you from been reconciled with God, you will not find the reconciliation you need in any other Church than the one God have given the power to bind and loosen sins.

Thats Wromg!
When you sin really bad, God sees you like a problem child.
He is not your Enemy!

 

[Advocatus_Fidei]

Thats Wromg!
When you sin really bad, God sees you like a problem child.
He is not your Enemy!

“To pardon a single sin requires all the omnipotence of God. “O God, Who chiefly manifestest Thy almighty power in pardoning and showing mercy,” etc., says the holy Church in one of her prayers. Hence, when they heard that Jesus Christ pardoned the sins of the paralytic, the Jews justly said: Who can forgive sins but God alone. But what only God can do by His omnipotence, the priest can also do by saying “Ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis;” for the forms of the Sacraments, or the words of the forms, produce what they signify. What the priest does what is wonderful, for by saying “Ego te absolvo” he changes the sinner from an enemy into the friend of God, and from the slave of Hell into an heir of Paradise.” The Dignity and Duties of the Priest" by St. Alphonsus Liguori, Doctor Zelantissimus

"Besides depriving the sinner of sanctifying grace, what else does mortal sin do to the soul? --Besides depriving the sinner of sanctifying grace, mortal sin makes the soul an enemy of God, takes away the merit of all its good actions, deprives it of the right to everlasting happiness in heaven, and makes it deserving of everlasting punishment in hell. " My Catholic Faith, MOST REVEREND LOUIS LARAVOIRE MORROW, S.T.D.

 

[teachccd]

“To pardon a single sin requires all the omnipotence of God. “O God, Who chiefly manifestest Thy almighty power in pardoning and showing mercy,” etc., says the holy Church in one of her prayers. Hence, when they heard that Jesus Christ pardoned the sins of the paralytic, the Jews justly said: Who can forgive sins but God alone. But what only God can do by His omnipotence, the priest can also do by saying “Ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis;” for the forms of the Sacraments, or the words of the forms, produce what they signify. What the priest does what is wonderful, for by saying “Ego te absolvo” he changes the sinner from an enemy into the friend of God, and from the slave of Hell into an heir of Paradise.” The Dignity and Duties of the Priest" by St. Alphonsus Liguori, Doctor Zelantissimus

"Besides depriving the sinner of sanctifying grace, what else does mortal sin do to the soul? --Besides depriving the sinner of sanctifying grace, mortal sin makes the soul an enemy of God, takes away the merit of all its good actions, deprives it of the right to everlasting happiness in heaven, and makes it deserving of everlasting punishment in hell. " My Catholic Faith, MOST REVEREND LOUIS LARAVOIRE MORROW, S.T.D.

Seems to me that if a person were to show true contrition and have an absolute intention of going to confession that God would not find that person as an enemy. Yes, if one were to remain in that rebellion against God then the person makes themself an enemy of God through that rebellion.

I would be saddened to think that God whose very essence is love (1 John 4:8,16) would reject my prayer of sorrow prior to my going to confession. God is infinite mercy and love and I would have to believe that even if you commit a mortal sin once you show contrition and the intention to go to confession that God is content.

Yes, the words of absolution are very powerful and they do restore the soul with sanctifying grace. But the actual graces that are at work in everyone would have to indicate that God will never give up on us. We might give up on Him but as soon as we turn back He is right there.

So, OP, get to confession but NEVER cease in your prayers. It would seem that satan would delight in that thought… teachccd

 

[Shae]

Hi,
I would like to thank you all for being supportive in my struggles of confessions.

I have made steps to do something about it, but I’m not just going to leap into confession. Firstly I am making an appointment to seek spiritual counsel

. I think is foolish to keep on confessing a sin, if you know there may not be an immediate end to it. Now I’m not talking about sin of self impurity in this moment. I’m talking about my daily anger, but generally I would like to know how to stop a repetative sin.

I can see embarassment about confessing a sin, I keep making week after week, but I still have to handle the self impurity part as well, though my anger is weighing more heavily at this time.

I still think it madness to talk about masterbation with a priest I may see every week or one I’ve never met. It just doesnt settle in my mind that this is ok.

I dont see how a priest who is human cannot possibly judge, it is human nature and he is human and therefore will judge, not publicly, but he will and it may be fleeting but never the less.

This is a serious struggle for me.

 

[Elizabeth502]

Shae,
How dare would a priest judge you, or any sinner, when:

(1) He is a sinner, too. That may or may not include sins of impurity, on his part, recent to the time period that you are confessing to him, but being a priest does not erase his human, very biological nature. He is every bit as much a man as a non-ordained man is. Yes, every state in life carries with it graces to fulfill that state as completely as possible, but no state in life comes easily.

Thus, Matrimony brings graces – tons of them. Does that mean that the two spouses don’t have to work their brains off making efforts to communicate, harmonize, understand each other? Not on your life!

If a priest hasn’t struggled with sins against purity then one wonders whether he’s alive. They have struggled, and many struggle their whole lives with that.

(2) He has other sins, even if not sexual. And if he has so purified himself spiritually that he is one of those rare human beings who infrequently has more than a venial sin to confess, I can promise you that he has had serious sins at one point in his life to confess. Further, the more advanced one becomes in the spiritual life (if he is considerably more advanced than you or I), then by that very fact he is quite aware of sins he once committed but never confessed, and also chronic faults which lead him into sin or near sin all the time. Advancement in the spiritual life illumines one’s mind and conscience to see increasingly clearly how filled with fault we (which includes priests) are.

Therefore, he will not judge you because he is no position to judge, being quite imperfect himself. Christ is the Just Judge; the priest is merely the mediator. The priest knows that if in silence he judges you negatively, he will earn negative payback for that pretty quickly. God will make sure that his mind is illumuned in short order: that he is quickly humbled by some revelation of what a sinner he, the priest, is. How do I know that? Because that’s the way God works in all of our lives: in my life, in your life, in the lives of both believers and unbelievers who pretend to separate themselves from the commonality of sinfulness which we all share.

(3) I don’t know of any priest trained in theology, let alone experienced in the confessional, who would judge sexual sins to be the worst possible sins. Not that they aren’t serious: of course they are; that’s why they need to be confessed. But do you think that the priest will be more horrified to hear your sins than that of a mafia crime boss? Or someone who has participated in political torture? Or someone who has led groups of people into Satanism or witchcraft? Or someone who has committed serious violations against justice and peace, such as committing rape, robbing someone of their life’s savings? Or less dramatic: someone who has spent an entire marriage cheating on his wife, and is just now coming to terms with it? That’s a significant amount of harm such a person would have done to a spouse. What about men who engage in domestic abuse – striking their wives, being verbally abusive? What about people who embezzle a company’s earnings, thereby robbing several people of just rewards? What about someone who leads another into drug use, which can destroy a person’s life? Someone who by unjust gossip destroys the reputation of another, which signficantly impacts that person’s good name, career, and even success in life?

(4) The more honest and simple a person is, about one’s own faults & sins, the more that a genuine priest will respect that sinner, not silently judge or mock that sinner. (Again, if he knows what’s good for him, he dare better not!) Think about it: What if someone you know, or even someone in the public eye, were to come out with simple honesty and make a heartfelt admission, with no excuses, about something bad he or she had done. Would you think less of that person? No! Most likely, if you’re a decent human being, you’re saying, “I wish I had the honesty and courage to be so forthright. I really admire that person.”

So, quite frankly, you haven’t listened to enough priests. Because every priest I’ve ever heard talk, says that. They say they are humbled by the honesty of sinners in confession, and that conversely they are disappointed when a sinner chooses not to be forthcoming (or doesn’t examine his or her conscience well) because there is less opportunity for the sacramental healing grace in those cases.

A priest is a mediating healer. He is motivated to heal, same as a doctor. A doctor doesn’t think “less” of you because you come to him wounded, looking bloody and bruised. He doesn’t think, “What a disgustingly imperfect human being.” He thinks, “Wow, an opportunity to do some good.” A priest is trained to be dispassionate about the sin but passionate on behalf of the sinner, as a doctor is committed to healing the patient, whatever extreme state the patient is in.

 

[Elizabeth502]

…to extend that metaphor further (yes, I know it’s an imperfect comparison, but there are some important parallels)…

Let’s say you engage in some kind of unhealthy lifestyle that brings you to the doctor’s office more than you should: say, you gain a lot of weight through your own fault, and habitually – while trying in fits and starts to reduce your weight, you are not consistent, and fall back into bad habits which eventually bring you into the doctor’s office. You are probably even ashamed to be there – knowing deep down that it is through your weak will, or lack of discipline, or your preference for self-indulgence, or responding to pressures, that caused you to neglect your diet and physique. You are probably especially ashamed if you’ve been down this path before, if that same doctor has urged you previously to take care of yourself better, and pointed out to you the advantages of losing weight, which will keep you from having to visit him as often.

But visit you must, if you’re on the road to serious illness, such as a heart attack or diabetes, or any other result of overweight on your organs. Unless the doctor is a complete jerk, the first thing out of his mouth when you revisit him is not going to be, “Haven’t I seen you more than once before, about this very issue”? That’s not his primary professional responsibility. His very first ethical responsibility is to diagnose you and treat you, after you reveal your symptoms and he takes tests and asks questions of his own. Then he will say, “I know you will have to visit me less often if you do X, Y, and Z. (lose weight, exercise, more, etc.)” He may also prescribe some medication to take regularly, and regular visits to him on a schedule, so that you will be aware of how necessary it is to stay in communication with your healer. He will be your counselor, because he knows it will help not only your physical state but your mental state, your self-esteem, if he counsels you how to correct your bad habits and what short-term and long-term benefit there will be to that.

…and so will the priest: “I know you will have to visit me less often, eventually, if you (paradoxically) come to confession frequently while you’re trying to rid yourself of this unfortunate habit (sexual behavior, angry state of mind, etc.)” He will prescribe a course of prayer and reception of the sacraments as medication for getting on the road back to health. That may involve renewing your prescription (probably will), because, like the doctor who knows that people stray from diets and exercise, the priest also knows that frequent visits are in themselves beneficial as reminders and as opportunities to make one more conscious of one’s behavior/lifestyle.

But, like the doctor, it would be the height of unprofessionalism, not to mention impractical, for the priest to blurt out the instant you reveal your sins. "Didn’t you come to me with this before?!!" He would have very few visitors if he did that. His primary job is to listen and heal, then counsel after doing so – not criticize, scold, or act shocked.

 

[smithm29]

Da mihi castitatem et continentiam, sed noli modo.

When I come up with excuses for not confessing something, I don’t really want to let go of the sin. I have to fight my urge to continue sinning. If you truly desire reconciliation, approach God with the humility required to be reconciled to Him, and a true plan to accept what He says is good in your life.

 

[revert_jen]

First, for a response to the title of this thread: None of us has a “right” to talk to God naturally as part of being human. However, because God loves us, nothing we can do will ever cause Him to stop listening to prayers of sorrow and contrition, or pleas for help with overcoming sins that are afflicting us. But not as a right, instead as an undeserved free gift from God. Absolutely NOBODY deserves to be loved by God. All people are loved by Him even though we don’t deserve it.

The problem with being in a state of mortal sin is not that God won’t listen to us, but that we have voluntarily made ourselves deaf, so we can’t hear His voice in response.

I have made steps to do something about it, but I’m not just going to leap into confession. Firstly I am making an appointment to seek spiritual counsel

This is totally backward, and doesn’t make sense to me, but any step forward is good. But if you aren’t willing even to mention the sin, from behind a screen to a priest you don’t know, who is assisted by God to forget it as soon as you leave, I don’t understand how you feel comfortable going to a priest (or anyone else) to just chat about it.

I think is foolish to keep on confessing a sin, if you know there may not be an immediate end to it. Now I’m not talking about sin of self impurity in this moment. I’m talking about my daily anger, but generally I would like to know how to stop a repetative sin.

First off, if you know there may not be an immediate end to it, you also know there may be an immediate end to it. That is just logic. And you cannot possibly know that there will not be an immediate end to it, because you can’t see the future. What you must do is ask God for help, go to confession as often as you need to, and firmly decide every time that you will do all in your power to avoid it. You may continue to struggle with anger throughout your life. But if you do not struggle, the anger will certainly not go away.

But it’s important to be clear about what is sin and what is not. That first involuntary flare when something happens is NOT a sin. (It may be caused by sinfully giving in to anger at other times, but it is not in itself a sin.) What is a sin is when, after that first involuntary flare, you decide to give in to the anger instead of fighting it. As soon as you realize that you are angry, that is when you need to start fighting. God will help you.

I still think it madness to talk about masterbation with a priest I may see every week or one I’ve never met. It just doesnt settle in my mind that this is ok.

You’re not supposed to have a long talk about it. You just say, “I committed impure acts with myself x times” and that can be it. I’m not sure what is insane about that. The only other thing you would possibly mention is if there were some mitigating factor, e.g. you were drunk or something. And then of course you should confess the drunkenness, if it affected you to the point of losing control over yourself.

I dont see how a priest who is human cannot possibly judge, it is human nature and he is human and therefore will judge, not publicly, but he will and it may be fleeting but never the less.

Well, I haven’t judged, at least not in any way that is available to my conscious mind. And I’m not nearly as well qualified to avoid judging as a priest who has heard it all a thousand times before. And what does it matter if he does? What does it matter if for a second, the priest makes some kind of judgement, which then flees almost right away?

I have to tell you, the ONLY time I felt judged in the confessional was once when I had a sin that was bothering me, and I went to confession to a very good priest, and I just confessed the one sin and nothing else. The priest asked, “there’s nothing else?” and in my head I could hear “In six weeks? only one sin? really???” It’s quite possible that the priest wasn’t even judging me, but I was certainly judging myself, and the next confession was only after a MUCH better examination of conscience. But I’ve never felt judged because of the sins I’ve actually confessed.

This is a serious struggle for me.

That is admirable. It is also evidence that God is hearing your prayers and helping you. You would be in a much worse state if you allowed yourself just to stop thinking about it, and stopped sruggling. God bless you in your struggle, and may He bring you quickly to the resolution He desires.

–Jen

 

[Elizabeth502]

I think is foolish to keep on confessing a sin, if you know there may not be an immediate end to it. This is a serious struggle for me.

Shae, sin is a serious struggle for every sincere believer. Particularly any kind of repetitive sin. Lots of people have habits of lying. One trip to the confessional doesn’t put a permanent end, necessarily, to any bad habit or any ingrained tendency, such as the cardinal sin of anger (given rise to lots of sins against our neighbor such as disproportionate rage), or the cardinal sin of pride, which, when combined with the cardinal sin of anger gives rise to malicious gossip in an effort to score personal triumphs over others.

We are all, if we are honest (and again that includes priests), in a constant battle to rise above our mere animal instincts and our fallen human nature. Avoiding confession prolongs and intensifies the struggle, and makes the bad habits more frequent.

Jason Evert of EWTN fame, when directly addressing the issue of repeated sexual sin, drew the rather graphic analogy with changing his baby’s diaper. He said, “I could rationalize not changing the diaper by saying, ‘the baby will just do this again and again.’ But then I should think about how that will harm the baby by keeping him with a dirty diaper on. I want to keep my baby in that condition? Of course not. I rush in and change the diaper.”

But the more important point is that remaining in a state of mortal sin is prime breeding ground for the devil to help us rationalize our avoidance of confession, and also leads us into other sin. That’s why the urgency is there to just…do…it.

 

[LilyM]

Hi,
I would like to thank you all for being supportive in my struggles of confessions.

I have made steps to do something about it, but I’m not just going to leap into confession. Firstly I am making an appointment to seek spiritual counsel

. I think is foolish to keep on confessing a sin, if you know there may not be an immediate end to it. Now I’m not talking about sin of self impurity in this moment. I’m talking about my daily anger, but generally I would like to know how to stop a repetative sin.

I can see embarassment about confessing a sin, I keep making week after week, but I still have to handle the self impurity part as well, though my anger is weighing more heavily at this time.

I still think it madness to talk about masterbation with a priest I may see every week or one I’ve never met. It just doesnt settle in my mind that this is ok.

I dont see how a priest who is human cannot possibly judge, it is human nature and he is human and therefore will judge, not publicly, but he will and it may be fleeting but never the less.

This is a serious struggle for me.

Put it this way - this makes as much sense as saying ‘I’m really ill, but I’m going to wait to see a doctor, because I’m not totally cured yet and may never be totally cured.’

A doctor’s role is not just to cure you, surely, but to treat ongoing symptoms as well. Without that treatment of ongoing symptoms, in fact, some illnesses will overwhelm you, whereas if the symptoms are treated it will prevent their getting worse or killing you.

For that matter - without those ongoing visits to the doctor WHILE you are ill, the illness might never even be properly diagnosed, let alone properly treated or cured.

A lot of illnesses look the same in the early stages, after all, so they may take some time and multiple visits to diagnose properly. Others may require some tweaking of the treatment during the course of the illness in order to effect a cure, because different people experience different symptoms and respond best to different treatments.

All of this is equally true of sin. Frequent visits to the confessional will mean you fall less often (which is a benefit not to be scoffed at), and may mean that the underlying causes become easier to perceive. I, for example, sometimes notice patterns of occasions where I fall, that wouldn’t be noticeable without frequent confession - and such knowledge helps enormously.