Do I have to confess again?

[jxavier]

Hello,

I am a young male adult who is currently seriously considering to become a priest. In the last weeks there have been awfully violent ‘spiritual battles’, and the usual wepons of the devil are (unwanted) impure thoughts and rampant scrupulosity.

I was a massive porn consumer when I was 11-19 (before converting seriously to the faith, although I’ve always been nominally catholic), and, in particular, I’ve had access and interest in illegal (teen & child) porn when I was 15-18.

I have many times confessed these things (mentioning explicitly the types of porn), including confessing the fact that I was doing something illegal and potentially helping in the sins of others by helping distributing that illegal pornography in the P2P programs.

When I did that confession, some months ago, that specified my possible participation in the sins of others, I had some peace for a while. But now, I’ve been driven to think that I should confess all these things again, this time because I was using a shared computer (that my parents and my little sister used), and although I always tried to be as careful as possible in hidding or deleting these files, perhaps they have sometimes found something.

All these thoughts are haunting me terribly. Should I confess this? If yes, is it relevant to mention the type of pornography involved?

Thank you for your time (and for any prayers that you might want to say for me)!

 

[bilop]

Hello,

I am a young male adult who is currently seriously considering to become a priest. In the last weeks there have been awfully violent ‘spiritual battles’, and the usual wepons of the devil are (unwanted) impure thoughts and rampant scrupulosity.

I was a massive porn consumer when I was 11-19 (before converting seriously to the faith, although I’ve always been nominally catholic), and, in particular, I’ve had access and interest in illegal (teen & child) porn when I was 15-18.

I have many times confessed these things (mentioning explicitly the types of porn), including confessing the fact that I was doing something illegal and potentially helping in the sins of others by helping distributing that illegal pornography in the P2P programs.

When I did that confession, some months ago, that specified my possible participation in the sins of others, I had some peace for a while. But now, I’ve been driven to think that I should confess all these things again, this time because I was using a shared computer (that my parents and my little sister used), and although I always tried to be as careful as possible in hidding or deleting these files, perhaps they have sometimes found something.

All these thoughts are haunting me terribly. Should I confess this? If yes, is it relevant to mention the type of pornography involved?

Thank you for your time (and for any prayers that you might want to say for me)!

Welcome to the forum!

I don’t see anything additional to confess.

If you are seriously considering the priesthood, you should probably look into to getting a spiritual director/regular confessor (you diocesan vocatiuon director can help you find one). He will be better able to advise you about such issues, and have advice on dealing with your spiritual issues.

God Bless

 

[txstm]

I agree with Bilop. I see no need for you to confess these sins again. While these sins were clearly grave matter, you have been forgiven them and need to move on. Peace.

 

[Gerard_Nadal]

I agree with what the other two respondents have said. I would add the following.

Part of the grace you have received is the understanding of how many other people are affected by our sins. This vision, properly used, is not meant to burden us with endless guilt. It is meant to imbue us with a love of self and others so as to lessen the likelihood that we will yield to this sin in the future.

When you are tempted, think of all the people who are hurt by porn. Then pray.

You may want to see a professional psychologist to help you with whatever issues from the past that may be contributing to this desire for porn, especially the child porn.

With a good professional counselor and a good spiritual director, you will be able to heal. Your sins have been forgiven. You are loved by your Father more than you’ll ever know, and you are free of this burden of sin. The porn may have inflicted wounds on top of those that led you to it in the first place. That’s the need for the counselor.

When you realize who has been hurt by this behavior, do something positive with that. Donate money to a battered women’s shelter, or to Covenant House, which services abused children. Go to your parish and have Masses said “for a special intention”. You and God will know that that sacrifice of prayer is for the men, women and children in those movies, and those who produced them. Say the Divine Mercy Chaplet for those harmed by the porn. Above all, attend daily Mass and nourish yourself on the Eucharist. Consider going to support groups for those with sexual addictions.

The insight into the effects of our sin is NOT a guilt trip. It is one of the most potent weapons we have in ensuring that we do as Jesus commanded the woman caught in adultery. “Go and sin no more.”

That starts with loving yourself.

God Bless You.

 

[06convert]

God’s blessings! It’s so wonderful that you feel you may have a calling to the Priesthood. I pray that it will be fruitful.

Sin is such a terrible thing. Not only does it hurt us spiritually the effects and damage it has on us a person extends far beyond the surface. Although we are forgiven in the sacrament the damaged caused can still haunt us for a long time.

Your spiritual journey has led you to a point that satan is going to be viscious and formittable opponent. How much satan hates for people to become priests, more warriors for God spending and consuming themselves for the salvation of man kind. That is some powerful stuff in the spiritual war. Satan hates you for it and will be relentless in his attacks. Remember God doesn’t loose, you are on the right team. With the help of God you can backhand satan right back to the depths of hell.

Remember that when you confess your sins are forgiven and you are absolved. You may still feel guilty, but this has little to do with the validity of what you have confessed. The only thing I would say that you might want to confess the next time you go to confession would be that you are hanging onto sins that have already been forgiven.

Satan still uses those memories to work against you.

God has forgiven you and destroyed sin, ask Him to help you move it aside so you can go forward.

 

[daughteroftruth]

All these thoughts are haunting me terribly. Should I confess this? If yes, is it relevant to mention the type of pornography involved?

Thank you for your time (and for any prayers that you might want to say for me)!

I would confess “scandal” due to the realization that your family could’ve been exposed to this (sister especially). I don’t think it would be necessary to go into great detail, but it would be an act of humility, which the devil hates. Many of the Saints recommend confessing an already absolved mortal sin in order to inspire contrition (if one cannot muster up true sorrow in a particular confession…of course, specifiying that this has been confessed previously). The devil hates humility, and this will help you to conquor him. Keep St. Michael at your side. You will be in my prayers.:console:

 

[Billy29]

Welcome and be at peace.

Remember that the Devil loves to bring up our past sins (and even doubt of absolution sometimes) especially when scruples are involved. Sins of the flesh are his favorite because they are so powerful. Sex and human sexuality is so primal and natural to our human nature the real question to ask yourself is why, what draws you to it, what need, want, or desire are you trying to fulfill.

Pray or at least make the Sign of the Cross in times of temptation. And remember that every prayer is perfect no matter what is happening or thoughts that Satan throws your way. Scruples are Satan’s way to draw us away from God. He wants us to think of God as impersonal rather than personal, to think that God doesn’t or won’t understand when in reality He understands us more than even we can own self.

God Bless.

Shelter us under Your wings oh Lord. Drive away from us every enemy and foe for You are gracious and love mankind.