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jol22
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Thank you everyone for your responses. Please pray for me and God bless you all.
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Irishmom2
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I am so sorry that happened to you. I am sorry that your parents are asking you to reconcile with your abusive brother.
You have forgiven him, you do not need to see him or be around him. Your parents need to accept how you feel and do everything in their power to keep you safe and make you feel comfortable. It sounds like they want you to reconcile so they can forget this awful thing ever happened and have your everyone be “one big happy family” again. Unfortunately for them that may never happen. They need to respect how you feel and not expect you to be around or hear about your brother.
No, forgiveness does not require reconciliation with your brother.
You have forgiven him, you do not need to see him or be around him. Your parents need to accept how you feel and do everything in their power to keep you safe and make you feel comfortable. It sounds like they want you to reconcile so they can forget this awful thing ever happened and have your everyone be “one big happy family” again. Unfortunately for them that may never happen. They need to respect how you feel and not expect you to be around or hear about your brother.
No, forgiveness does not require reconciliation with your brother.
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puer.dei
Guest
No, and no. You do not have to talk to him. You do not have to see him. And you most certainly do not have to let your parents talk you into this.Do I have to start talking to my brother again to be a good christian? Does forgiveness require reconciliation?
Simply tell your father that you have already forgiven your brother, but that’s as far as you can go.
Your brother’s relationship with God is his responsibility, not yours.
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1ke
Guest
Absolutely not.He wants me to act as if nothing happened, and start talking to him again.
I would suggest bringing your parents with you to your therapist to help them understand why it’s NOT OK to ask this of you nor is it possible for you to allow him in your life in any way.
You were a prepubescent child and he was an adult. Not only is this morally repugnant and a complete betrayal of you, it’s a crime and needs to be reported to the police.When I was 11, my older brother (who was a young adult at the time)
He is a predator, and predators don’t stop at one little girl. If he has access to little girls, you can bet he is continuing this behavior.
Your brother did that all by himself.This makes me feel as if I am the reason for the destruction of my family.
Your parents are in some serious denial. They need counseling.As if we are separated because I keep holding grudge against my brother.
NO.Do I have to start talking to my brother again to be a good christian?
NO.Does forgiveness require reconciliation?
Report it to the police.Thank you for reading.
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RolandThompsonGunner
Guest
Your brother is a seriously troubled person. You are under no obligation to have any kind of relationship with him.
You can pray for him and hope that he gets help, but that doesn’t mean you have to interact with him.
You can pray for him and hope that he gets help, but that doesn’t mean you have to interact with him.
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Norseman82
Guest
The only other thing I would add is what I hear from combat sports referees: “Protect yourself at all times”.
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Legend
Guest
I find many people get ‘forgiveness’ and ‘reconciliation’ confused. While forgiveness is required, reconciliation is not…and, usually, is not even advisable, unless both parties are ready to work on the relationship…in a non-sinful way!
The best example on these forums that I have seen, is of a woman who was, as a child, badly abused by her stepfather. She knew she had forgiven when, as an adult, her half-brother (said stepfather’s son) asked her to pray with him for his father’s health, and soul, and she was able to, with barely a thought about the past. Forgiveness is much more for the one doing the forgiving, than the one needing forgiveness. If you can reconcile, without being made to feel and act sinfully, that’s fine, but, it’s forgiveness that heals you! Don’t reconcile unless the other person is willing to change.
The best example on these forums that I have seen, is of a woman who was, as a child, badly abused by her stepfather. She knew she had forgiven when, as an adult, her half-brother (said stepfather’s son) asked her to pray with him for his father’s health, and soul, and she was able to, with barely a thought about the past. Forgiveness is much more for the one doing the forgiving, than the one needing forgiveness. If you can reconcile, without being made to feel and act sinfully, that’s fine, but, it’s forgiveness that heals you! Don’t reconcile unless the other person is willing to change.
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