Do I just not love God?

[PelagiathePenit]

I like going to church and I confession. The only I struggle with is sin. Almost everything is a sin. I am relatively young. I find Catholicism confining. No birth control, no sex, always listen your parents, no dressing immodestly, no gossip, no watching inappropriate shows or movies, no whining (LIKE I AM DOING RIGHT NOW, FORGIVE ME) ,no revengeful thoughts, no white lies, no sexual thoughts or fantasies, no masturbation, gluttony is a sin. You are not supposed to care what people think. Who does not want to feel accepted? What girl does not want to be beautiful? I feel like the only way to avoid sin is just staying in my dorm and doing my homework all day. No inappropriate music. As Christians we are held to a high standard. We can not judge or envy those who are free to listen and live however they want. God is harsher on us because we should know better. I know is going to sound terrible, so I stopped reading my bible. At mass, I omit "as we forgive those who trespass against us " It seems like loving God is suffering and having no fun. We are NOT supposed not think we are better than others for following these harsh rules. I tell my Atheist friends to never join religions. As much as I love the saint stories, they are SO DEPRESSING. Mystical experiences scare me. People who do not believe in God are held to lower standards, they can choose God later when they are old and enter heaven. I do not want to sacrifice my youth for God. I have to go for the career and marry the man God wants me to. Where is the free will? My parents are immigrants from third-world countries,I know how harsh and controlling sometimes parents can be. When I get married, I must obey my husband. Why? I can not divorce him if he is a lying, cheating, abusive, jerk. I have to have patience with people who intentionally cruel to me. Where is the joy in Christ? I wanted to switch to a different denomination, but I oddly love Catholicism a lot, despite this endless rant. I feel VERY GUILTY FOR feeling this way. I have so much God has blessed me with. A house, close-knit family, good friends, food, good health, I have the opportunity to attend school.

 

[1ke]

You need counseling. Make an appointment with your pastor to talk about these feelings and concerns.

If you truly believe everything is a sin, and nothing is joyful, then you have an imbalanced understanding of Christianity.

PLEASE get professional help.

 

[EasterJoy]

You sound a bit like a person who envies grade school classmates whose parents are permissive. “Why do I have to get enough sleep? Why do I have to eat vegetables? Why do I have to say please and thank you?..” I don’t know who has never felt this temptation. (You are also wrong about being able to leave or get a civil divorce from someone who is abusive.)

I suspect you’re merely having a bad day. Don’t feel guilty for feeling temptation. Try to switch your noodle to good reasons to find the law of the Lord more precious than gold, but do not beat yourself up. That does not help! If this is more than a passing thing, I agree that pastoral counselling is something you ought to seek out.

 

[acat]

I’m sorry you are struggling and in some ways I can relate.

I think much of it is a reflection of the day & age we live in. In any other time, most of the restrictions you mentioned would simply be common, the norm. Instead, we are living in a time and place that highly values things like individual freedom, sex, money, power, etc. We are bombarded with it all day long and it is all around us! We seem like the weird, abnormal ones because we hold ourselves to more God-focused standards. We don’t fit in and it looks like everyone else is having more fun than us.

Catholic guilt is tough. As a parent now, I am trying to raise my kids without the same guilt I was raised with – but with the same values. It is a really hard balance to strike. We are part of this world, for better or for worse, and we all just have to do the best we can to live good lives.

It sounds like you are in college? This is a time of your life where you’re SUPPOSED to buck against your parents’ and society’s rules… you are learning who you are and how to set yourself apart from your family and be an adult. This is hard and important work, trying to individualize yourself and become more self-aware! And unfortunately it sounds like you are completely surrounded by typical college students. Do you have a campus ministry program or chapel? I wonder if you might be able to find others who live lives more similar to the life you are striving to live.

Everything is not a sin. Many of us do choose to avoid TV, movies, certain music, even certain friends, to avoid near occasions of sin. But that doesn’t mean we do not have fun! The things I enjoy include biking, running, hiking, drawing, painting, writing, reading, taking my kid to zoos & museums, petting my cat, cooking, watching cooking and home improvement shows, square dancing, going to instrumental concerts, theater, etc. None of those things are sinful and none even tempt me to sin in any way. I get great joy out of these activities – far greater and deeper than the joy I might get out of casual sex and wishing ill toward others. The “fun” forbidden things you mentioned do not sound like fun to me and I believe they would leave me with an emptiness. Can you write a list of all the things you enjoy that are NOT sinful? All the things that bring peace and joy and depth to your life? Perhaps focusing on these things instead of what you are forbidden from will help you recognize the fun and joy already present in your life.

 

[runwaymodel]

I like going to church and I confession. The only I struggle with is sin. Almost everything is a sin. I am relatively young. I find Catholicism confining. No birth control, no sex, always listen your parents, no dressing immodestly, no gossip, no watching inappropriate shows or movies, no whining (LIKE I AM DOING RIGHT NOW, FORGIVE ME) ,no revengeful thoughts, no white lies, no sexual thoughts or fantasies, no masturbation, gluttony is a sin. You are not supposed to care what people think. Who does not want to feel accepted? What girl does not want to be beautiful? I feel like the only way to avoid sin is just staying in my dorm and doing my homework all day. No inappropriate music. As Christians we are held to a high standard. We can not judge or envy those who are free to listen and live however they want. God is harsher on us because we should know better. I know is going to sound terrible, so I stopped reading my bible. At mass, I omit "as we forgive those who trespass against us " It seems like loving God is suffering and having no fun. We are NOT supposed not think we are better than others for following these harsh rules. I tell my Atheist friends to never join religions. As much as I love the saint stories, they are SO DEPRESSING. Mystical experiences scare me. People who do not believe in God are held to lower standards, they can choose God later when they are old and enter heaven. I do not want to sacrifice my youth for God.** I have to go for the career and marry the man God wants me to. Where is the free will?** My parents are immigrants from third-world countries,I know how harsh and controlling sometimes parents can be. When I get married, I must obey my husband. Why? I can not divorce him if he is a lying, cheating, abusive, jerk. I have to have patience with people who intentionally cruel to me. Where is the joy in Christ? I wanted to switch to a different denomination, but I oddly love Catholicism a lot, despite this endless rant. I feel VERY GUILTY FOR feeling this way. I have so much God has blessed me with. A house, close-knit family, good friends, food, good health, I have the opportunity to attend school.

Firstly, being young in today’s society is tough enough and you just need a little guidance. Don’t ever feel like you need to try to have people accept you or fit in–those aren’t real friends or anyone you would want in your life anyway. Please don’t feel like you are “missing out”. It’s the typical grass-is-always-greener syndrome only the drinking and partying is short term fun (if you consider that fun) over long term satisfaction. It takes some people are very long time, sometimes up until their old age, to reach the point of knowing God and His presence. So you are very blessed in that regard.

Secondly, I don’t know where you got the misinformation that a God wants you to do a certain thing or take a certain path. There are always detours and reroutes in life, you just have to put Christ first in whatever it is you choose to do or be.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed or start to feel scrupulous because we need to be “good Christian role models”. We definitely should try to be good Christian role models but understand that we are human and still sin. ALL of us. Try not to be so hard on yourself and pray for a god to enlighten you and guide you. I did and it certainly makes the journey easier.

Praying for you.

 

[CradleJourney]

I am relatively young. I find Catholicism confining. No birth control, no sex, always listen your parents, no dressing immodestly, no gossip, no watching inappropriate shows or movies, no whining (LIKE I AM DOING RIGHT NOW, FORGIVE ME) ,no revengeful thoughts, no white lies, no sexual thoughts or fantasies, no masturbation, gluttony is a sin. You are not supposed to care what people think. Who does not want to feel accepted? What girl does not want to be beautiful? I feel like the only way to avoid sin is just staying in my dorm and doing my homework all day. No inappropriate music. As Christians we are held to a high standard. /QUOTE]

If it’s culturally acceptable to you may I offer a :hug1: ? It is hard when you feel overburdened and then feel guilty for feeling overburdened. Even as someone much older than you, I sometimes find myself feeling very envious of others who don’t “have” to do everything I am required to do - and then feel guilty because I know the stuff I’m whining about is very small stuff compared to the suffering of those without enough food, clean water, etc.

When you’re not feeling things so intensely, perhaps it would help to consider some of the “rules” from this point of view… As a small child, you probably thought it was incredibly unfair that your parent wouldn’t let you run out into the street - especially if you saw another child do it. Because you couldn’t see anything but the limitation at the time, you probably threw a few tantrums and your parent might have had to be pretty strict to get you to follow the “rule” of not running out into the street. Now as a much older person, you would never think to just run out into the street (without following rules about looking both ways, using crosswalks, etc). I bet it doesn’t seem at all restrictive - just common sense - that one does not run out into a street because the consequences could be disastrous.

Once someone taught me this example, it became easier (though still a struggle sometimes) to simply accept that some things have consequences I don’t want to risk and following the “rule” keeps me safe. It’s not something imposed on me by someone else - but a common sense thing that makes me more free by allowing me to stay safe and healthy (physically, emotionally, spiritually) so I can enjoy life more.

Obviously this does not apply to everything in your post - some of the things you mention don’t rise to that level of seriousness and other posters have offered good advice. Just wanted to mention what helped me with some of the things you mentioned.

 

[Vico]

…
Almost everything is a sin. …
Where is the joy in Christ?
…

There certainly are countless ways to sin. Sin is fun at first, it is what we think is good, but yet is out of order for some reason. Really you have the Holy Spirit to strengthen you against freely consenting to sin. Sin that you could avoid. Especially grave sin. So it comes down to resistance with not giving in, and avoiding the near and certain occasions of sin.

The joy in Christ is knowledge that He will be with us forever. Take heart:

Matthew 1125 At that time Jesus answered and said:

I confess to thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them to the little ones. 26 Yea, Father; for so hath it seemed good in thy sight. 27 All things are delivered to me by my Father. And no one knoweth the Son, but the Father: neither doth any one know the Father, but the Son, and he to whom it shall please the Son to reveal him.
28 Come to me, all you that labour, and are burdened, and I will refresh you. 29 Take up my yoke upon you, and learn of me, because I am meek, and humble of heart: and you shall find rest to your souls. **30 **For my yoke is sweet and my burden light.
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