Do I need to be confirmed to be married in the Catholic Church?

[kag1982]

Umm… I don’t want to be confirmed. I have personal reasons for this based on my own history with the Church. This doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate the Catholic faith and my current parish. Let’s try not to judge others based on Internet postings.

 

[thistle]

Umm… I don’t want to be confirmed. I have personal reasons for this based on my own history with the Church. This doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate the Catholic faith and my current parish. Let’s try not to judge others based on Internet postings.

To clarify things for us so there is no misunderstandings do you intend to have your children brought up in the Catholic faith?

 

[FAB]

If you read the OP’s OP you will see she is at best a lukewarm Catholic saying she is not interested in becoming a member and doesn’t want to be confirmed. Unless she lies to the priest when discussing marriage the priest will have to weigh the disinterest in the church and really wonder what chance any children have of being brought up as Catholics.

Actually I think she is searching. We don’t require zelots, we want people to come to know Christ and come to love Christ. Our doors need to be open and welcoming and our arms and words need to those of Christ. We then trust in the Holy Spirit.
So she is luke warm, if she is welcomed and her child is welcomed then she very possibly will warm up. All to often we are a Church of you can’t instead of a church of you are welocomed here, come be part of us, let me share the loce of Christ with you.
Then we wonder why people stray.

Deacon Frank

 

[MJJean]

MJJean I was talking about the poster before you, not you. What confuses me about your situation is that you must get your marriage corrected to receive any other sacraments. Sadly, your case is complicated by a divorce. (I hope that works out for you.) However, I’ve never been married and up until a few years ago I was a “recovering Catholic,” I could have gotten married by a Elvis Impersonator in Vegas at 28 and then returned to the Church at 29 by talking to the priest, getting my marriage convalidated, and making a confession.

I’m happy that you didn’t think I was being judgmental.

Thank you for your wishes that my situation work out. My priest doesn’t see a reason annulment would be denied, so I am hopeful. It’s the waiting until that happens that is such a problem for me. I want myself and my husband to be in full communion with the Church and that is not possible right now. Probably will not be possible for a year.

Yes, my situation is complicated because of divorce. I was raised loosely Protestant and divorce and remarriage is very common culturally. A lot of people marry hoping for the best, but believing they can divorce and remarry without any problems within their religion. Which is true for people who are Protestant. If my husband and I decided to attend a Baptist or Lutheran church my previous divorce would be no problem. But because we went to the Catholic faith it is a huge problem.

As I said in my rather lengthy last post, I would hate to see you marry and end up divorced and then remarried unable to receive Sacraments other than Confession. So, please make sure your intended does understand the differences in traditions regarding divorce. I think it very important he fully understands that for a Catholic marriage is for life and the grave consequences for you should the marriage fail. Best to make such serious decisions after considering every angle, you know?

All marriages have rough patches. Sometimes these last for days, sometimes for months or years. Those trying times are when people start considering separation or divorce. Having been married and then divorced and remarried and having watched friends and family go through the same process i can say that, based on my own observation, people who believe (even in the back of their minds) divorce is possible are more likely to go that route and people who believe that divorce is not possible are more likely to really work on preserving a marriage.

Now, back on the real topic! If your priest will allow the marriage without Confirmation, YAY! But you still may want to be Confirmed at some point in the future. At least consider it every so often for your own spiritual reasons and please remember that changing your mind and being Confirmed in the faith will not negate your first adult decision or your recovery. And, when thinking and praying on it, please remember the people like me who long for Confirmation and are unable to be Confirmed.