Could I pop in an reiterate my understanding, so I could get this clarified? As I understand it, the morality of a DNR has nothing to do with your age. It has to do with whether or not death is imminent or whether or not extraordinary means are especially likely to cause adverse outcomes in the patient. We are not morally bound to do a resuscitation that, while it may extend the life of the patient for a limited amount of time, also raises the real danger of doing injury to the patient from which they are unlikely to recover or to introduce unnecessary suffering into the process of death.
My grandfather, for instance, had a heart that was seriously failing. On the day he died, CPR and defibrillation might have given him another month. Or another day. Or it may not have worked at all. Grandpa had undergone those treatments in his past. At the time, these interventions gave him years of extended life. Nevertheless, he knew them to be extremely painful. CPR can break ribs. Grandpa likened defibrillation to being kicked by a horse. He knew he was dying, and he didn’t want that kind of a death.
It is my understanding that we are not morally bound to do that stuff to a patient who cannot expect anything but a lengthening of their death process as a result. Insisting upon resuscitation under all circumstances almost guarantees that no terminal patient who comes anywhere near a hospital will ever be allowed to die a peaceful death.
OTOH, when he collapsed several years before that, he may have died in spite of those painful resusciation efforts. He would have asked for them anyway, though, because in that case they had a chance to do some real good. He was already advanced in years at that time, but he did not have a heart condition that was imminently terminal. He would say that while life is a choice, you choose life, even if you chance having a harder life or a less-peaceful death than you would otherwise want.
Being frail or having a bad heart or a combination of failing organs isn’t, in and of itself, a reason for a DNR. Even when life gets hard, life is still worth living. But there gets to be a time when your choice is not how you will continue to endure your problems, but how you will choose to approach and journey through your death. At that point, a DNR is not a denial of life, but a recognition that the process of dying is a part of the work of living.
Obviously, there is not a bright and easy-to-recognize line between the two cases. It is a question that requires serious discernment in each case.
I would welcome comments, in way of clarification or correction.