E
esmero
Guest
Often it bothers me to try and actually articulate my thoughts and feelings to God in prayer, first because I feel that my words can never convey the entire truth and depth of what I am trying to communicate, so I find myself choosing and prioritizing a little too rationally what I am trying to say in order to “elaborate” a “coherent” prayer or something; similar to the care one has when writing an article.
Secondly, because sometimes I’m left with the feeling that I am trying to “make a case” to God, trying to persuade Him, trying to present a favorable version of myself or of what I am trying to say and ask, instead of simply speaking honestly, from the heart. When I notice this going on, I start to second-guess everything I say and spend half of the prayer apologizing for my perceived attempts at manipulating God.
As you can see, all of this takes me out of the experience of prayer and makes me very self-conscious about it. So lately I’ve been trying to not care so much about the verbalization of my prayers, but just on opening my mind and heart to God, letting Him inspect my soul without me getting in the way. I find that I still end up verbalizing some key parts of what’s on my mind, but without the “filler” that comes from actually putting everything into words and forming sentences and whatnot.
I do still make a point of explicitly asking for things with words, and explicitly thanking God with words, in humility and respect. But in general it’s been feeling more honest this way.
Is this appropriate? If not, what can I do to counter the problems described with my verbalized prayers?
Thanks.
Secondly, because sometimes I’m left with the feeling that I am trying to “make a case” to God, trying to persuade Him, trying to present a favorable version of myself or of what I am trying to say and ask, instead of simply speaking honestly, from the heart. When I notice this going on, I start to second-guess everything I say and spend half of the prayer apologizing for my perceived attempts at manipulating God.
As you can see, all of this takes me out of the experience of prayer and makes me very self-conscious about it. So lately I’ve been trying to not care so much about the verbalization of my prayers, but just on opening my mind and heart to God, letting Him inspect my soul without me getting in the way. I find that I still end up verbalizing some key parts of what’s on my mind, but without the “filler” that comes from actually putting everything into words and forming sentences and whatnot.
I do still make a point of explicitly asking for things with words, and explicitly thanking God with words, in humility and respect. But in general it’s been feeling more honest this way.
Is this appropriate? If not, what can I do to counter the problems described with my verbalized prayers?
Thanks.