Do You and Your Spouse Share the Same Faith?

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I am a convert to the Faith and my husband is a ‘Cradle Catholic’ who attends Mass every Sunday, is an EME, an Usher, member of the Parish Council, member of the Parish Re-configuration committee and a past Grand Knight.

With that said, we don’t agree on very much else regarding the Faith. He thinks I’m a fanatic because I am faithful to Rome, I thoroughly enjoy watching EWTN, am faithful to my Rosaries and other devotions…

He thinks the Pope should retire, priests should be allowed to marry, and birth control should be permitted…I guess, what I’m trying to say is, HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH A CAFETERIA CATHOLIC peacefully….

Anyone else have this problem?😦
 
Heaven forbid and God bless you! That is really interesting that your husband is so involved with the Church and yet is so opposed to so much of its teachings. I would say my husband and I are about on the same level. Both cradle Catholic, both always been practicing, Mass attending Catholics. I am a little more vocal about defending our Catholic faith. While he is not as vocal, he definitely agrees with me and supports me. Thank God!
 
La Chiara:
Heaven forbid and God bless you! That is really interesting that your husband is so involved with the Church and yet is so opposed to so much of its teachings.
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LaChiara,
the scary part of this is that there are so many like him! He thinks he’s going to Heaven because he thinks he is obeying the Commandments and the Precepts of the Church …he has had a totally Catholic education as well! According to him, I’m in a minority… (My 1st husband totally shared my beliefs)…
I do love him very much and intend to Sanctify myself in this marriage…in most other areas we are just fine. Annunciata:)
 
As of last Easter Vigil, my wife of 36 years is now Catholic, too.

Now, my big challange is to keep up with her. 🙂

Her enthusiasm for the faith, and delight at being in the Church is truly refreshing and envigorating. Fortunately, we have two very faithful priests. I think if she ever encountered a revisionist or soft-peddler, she’d wave her finger at him and exclaim, “I didn’t join the Church for THAT!”

Blessings,

Gerry
 
I would like to convert to the Catholic faith while my husband is a non practicing Baptist. When we get into spats, I’m accused of having a “holier than thou” attitude. It’s hard trying to be faithful and not being (not sure if this is the right wording) “too religious” at the same time. 😦
 
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AmandaPS:
I would like to convert to the Catholic faith while my husband is a non practicing Baptist. When we get into spats, I’m accused of having a “holier than thou” attitude. It’s hard trying to be faithful and not being (not sure if this is the right wording) “too religious” at the same time. 😦
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I’m a convert from the Baptist Church and I always felt a little like an outsider at first from some of the attitudes of the ‘Cradle Catholics’…but got over that in a hurry when I seriously began to study the Faith in greater depths… hence I started getting 'holier than thou" from some… I remember my brother-in-law didn’t want my own sister to be too close to me because I was ‘too religious’ …(she did finally convert and he was a Catholic!) who cares…I love Jesus and His Church and all that goes with it and I wouldn’t let anything stand in my way (and I didn’t) But I know what your saying…it would be sort of a double thing if your husband isn’t that faithful. Pray for God’s good Grace and I will pray for you as well. In Christ, Annunciata:)
 
My husband and I are both Catholic. I was raised Catholic and he converted to Catholicism. Thank you God!😃 Raising children in the Catholic faith it is very wonderful to have both parents Catholic.
 
Before I reverted back to the Catholic church 4 years ago, my wife and I were both marginal catholics and I had become a virtual agnostic. By the grace of God, I found my way back to the Church. At first my wife was cautiously supportive but within a few months (the trigger was the priest scandal), she became openly hostile to the Church and my deepening faith. She threatened to leave me a couple times over my loyalty to the church but also because of my changed positions on abortion, gay marriage and embryonic stem cell research (we were both staunch liberals on issues of morality before my reversion). She currently tolerates my faith and has not interferred in my effort to raise our daughter in the faith but I can emphathize with your suffering in this matter. I pray every day that she has a conversion back to the church like I did but married couples are definitely better off if they share the same values and faith. I just never realized how difficult it would be to not share the faith (and for me even core values) with someone who you love. I take it one day at a time and I trust that God will answer my prayers according to His will.
 
My husband is not Catholic. I am a cradle Catholic. My husband has told me that when he was younger, he used to go to Pentecostal services because he enjoys the music and the singing. He is techinically a Protestant, because he was baptized in the Dutch Reformed Church but does not practice his faith. Now comes the funny part with him. He believes that the Catholic Church is the True Church of Christ. He defends the Catholic Church in conversations with people who attack it. He sounds more Catholic than many church going catholics.

He still has this notion that the Mass should be said in Latin and does not care for the shaking of hands and other improvisations during Mass. Because of the turmoil and disagreements he says he is not ready to become Catholic.

We both have had lengthy discussions about his qualms. To me some of his objections sound like excuses, for him they are hurdles he can’t seem to overcome. If one question is answered, it gets replaced with another objection.

We’re right now at a stand still regarding religious discussions. I just keep praying for him. He says that people will more readily listen to him when he defends the Church because they know that he is not Catholic. Go figure all this out.

Theodora
 
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Annunciata:
I am a convert to the Faith and my husband is a ‘Cradle Catholic’ who attends Mass every Sunday, is an EME, an Usher, member of the Parish Council, member of the Parish Re-configuration committee and a past Grand Knight.

With that said, we don’t agree on very much else regarding the Faith. He thinks I’m a fanatic because I am faithful to Rome, I thoroughly enjoy watching EWTN, am faithful to my Rosaries and other devotions…

He thinks the Pope should retire, priests should be allowed to marry, and birth control should be permitted…I guess, what I’m trying to say is, HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH A CAFETERIA CATHOLIC peacefully….

Anyone else have this problem?😦
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First for your title question. We are both Cradle Catholics. She brought me back to the Faith after many years away. She came into my life after lenghty prayer on my part for Him to send His chosen one for me to me.

Second, please remind the PGK that as a Brother Knight he took an oath, and is honor bound, to obey Holy Mother Church (who resides in Rome), the Holy Father, and to defend all Priests and Religious. Also remind him that Knights are Consecrated to Mary, and are given a Rosary with the admonition to carry it always so that it is on hand in time of need; so he should be devoted to Our Lady through Her Rosary as well.

As for your devotions, I share them as well - to include watching EWTN for hours at a time, but my wife doesn’t. So I would say it isn’t wrong that you enjoy these things and your husband doesn’t, it’s just that you approach your Faiths differently.

Finally, (and could someone more knowledgeable than I help out here please?) perhaps God is strengthening your Faith by giving you your hubands Faith to pray for. I know there is a Bible passage on this somewhere…

I always pray for all my Brother Knights, I’ll keep your husband in mind when I say my Rosary tomorrow.

God Bless You
Rob
 
My dh and I are both cradle Catholics. After many years of being a cafeteria Catholic, my faith has grown in leaps and bounds, but my dh chooses to stay behind. At first, he was confused and angry by my conversion. It was because of problems in our marriage that brought me closer to the church. Our marriage has survived and grown because of my faith and conversion. Thanks to many people on this forum who have comforted and guided me in many trying times.
 
To answer the title question:

Sort of, we both believe in the magisterial teachings of the church and place God 1st in our life. However, my faith is much deeper and I am often hurt by her “non-christian” behavior (which she do not even recognize as wrong most of the time, and mostly built on bad habits aquired over decades). It can be very difficult.
 
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hydrochief:
… perhaps God is strengthening your Faith by giving you your hubands Faith to pray for. I know there is a Bible passage on this somewhere…
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This thought has occurred to me many times and in a previous post:
Annunciata

I do love him very much and intend to Sanctify myself in this marriage…in most other areas we are just fine. Annunciata:)
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and I’m sure it has to others w/ similar problems.
None of us is perfect…we all have our reasons for the actions we take…But, I have to say,** nobody** is going to come between me and God…He is first and foremost
in my life and my husband knew that when he married me…so nothing has changed except that he does try a little more to understand…
Hey…if he rejects the Graces given, it’s his responsibility…I’ll just continue to pray that he learns to love God so that He becomes first in his life.
BTW, I’m not first either…his possessions and his computer games are:(
Thanks for all your helpful responses. In Christ, Annunciata:)
 
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Annunciata:
With that said, we don’t agree on very much else regarding the Faith. He thinks I’m a fanatic because I am faithful to Rome, Iions…
HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH A CAFETERIA CATHOLIC peacefully….
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Consider yourself fortunate, I am married to a Pentacostal who has just “heard the call” to the ministry.
 
My wife is a very faithful Catholic and that is one of the reasons why I married her. I could not imagine being married to anyone who was not 100% behind the Church. I don’t know how you all do it. My hats go off to anyone able to navigate the choppy waters in a mixed marriage.
 
I am so truly blessed. My husband and I started dating when I was only 16, he 17. We were both raised by Catholic parents, but polar extremes. My parents are “old” Catholics who don’t understand a thing about Catholicism and therefore whenever something arises they abandon their beliefs. My husbands parents are “modern” Catholics that openly profess to reject Church teachings because the only thing that really matters is love and happiness. (Though they don’t understand that those things really come from the TRUTH!!)

When we started on our marital journey, we both loved God and said we were Catholic…that’s about it. God has been so merciful in having us grow together in our faith and surrounding us with such wonderfully strong Catholic friends. It wasn’t easy, however. He has definitely brought great joy from severe pain. (Many terrible things, including the death of a child which almost resulted in our divorcing.)

The hope I give you is that these struggles you are suffering now may one day be the source of strength and joy in your marriage. If I look back to what our marriage was 12-14 years ago, I would have never believed that those terrible days would ever be a blessing. However, God knows so much more than we do. Trust all in Him, offer the pain to the cross for the conversion of your husband to the truth. Don’t let the pain be meaningless. That uniting with the Cross is such powerful prayer. The future may hold pure treasure from this time. Through Him, all things are possible.
 
I’m a returned Catholic, really “fired up” about the faith, while my wife is protestant. She attends mass with me every week and is supportive, but my efforts to convert her has basically fallen on deaf ears. I’ll keep trying, gently, lovingly until she comes home. Meanwhile I’ll keep praying for her.
Dave
 
Anunciata,

I am so glad you started this thread.

I am in the same situation as PuppyLove but not so far along. Although we were both Cradle Catholics, when we were married, we were both very lax in the practice of our Faith.

After 10 years of marriage (3 years ago), I had a spiritual renewal (for lack of a better term) and began to read and research to re-catechise myself.

Let me tell you how naive I was. I never knew that there were Catholics who disagreed with major Church teachings but still considered themselves Catholic. I didn’t always do what I believed the Church was teaching (like go to Mass every Sunday) but I didn’t disagree with the teaching itself. Kind of like the speed limit - just because you are driving 80 mph doesn’t mean that you dissent from the 55 mph speed limit. 😉

Now I have found out that I am married to someone who doesn’t really believe a lot of what the Church teaches: Sunday Mass obligation, Confession, birth control, even Abortion (many tears shed on this last one). He has stated that people who go to daily Mass and adoration are religious fanatics. I still go, I just don’t advertise it. He has not directly contradicted any Church teaching to the children, for which I am very thankful.

In the past 3 years since my “reversion”, the kids and I have taken a “no exception” stance on Sunday Mass. We did so quietly and without fuss and now he goes with us most of the time. He still hasn’t been to Confession but when my youngest makes his First Confession, next year, we will be making “family” outings and hopefully he will go too.

And I pray a lot for the intercession of St. Monica.
 
This is an interesting topic. I converted to Catholicism in Novermber of 2001. My wife is a cradle catholic. What I found is that my wife simply lacked a lot of knowledge regarding the teachings of the church. For many years, she believed in artifical contraception, divorce being okay, and a women who was raped should be able to have an abortion. What I found was that she thought these things were okay because she didn’t know otherwise. In other words, the catholic faith was not taught in her home growing up. She received her sacraments because that was just the right thing to do. I asked her one time, why she was catholic, and she replied, because that’s just what my family is, catholic. Since my conversion to the catholic faith, however, she has really changed her views. She has asked a lot of questions, and has learned a great deal about the faith. Her views are very much in line with the church. I attribute much of this to the excitement I had when entering the church. I think it just wore off on her. This goes to tell you how very important it is to teach your children what the church teaches.
 
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kmktexas:
Anunciata,

I am so glad you started this thread.

I am in the same situation as PuppyLove but not so far along. Although we were both Cradle Catholics, when we were married, we were both very lax in the practice of our Faith.

After 10 years of marriage (3 years ago), I had a spiritual renewal (for lack of a better term) and began to read and research to re-catechise myself.
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The same thing happened to me a little over 3 years ago! And it hasn’t let up…I just can’t seem to get enough of Church teachings, Church history, the Saints, you name it! There seems to be “a burning within”…hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t experienced it, (DH).
Maybe a thread should be started on this…I’ll have to check to see if one already exists…
You know what’s really beautiful? When you see your own grown children finding their way back! Beautiful! And, very loyal to the Magisterium…want only orthodoxy, none of this “fuzy” wuzy" if it feels good stuff…
Wow! The Holy Spirit is surely moving in the Church just now…“A New Springtime” and I want to be a part of it! Guess we do need to pray to St. Monica more… Love In Christ, Annunciata:)
P.S.
Again, thanks to all for your continued sharing, it’s helping not only me but I feel certain many others, who for one reason or another, aren’t able to express themselves at this time…
 
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