Do you confess to your spiritual director?

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Batfink

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I have an excellent priest spiritual director, but I have not yet confessed to him. I do want to and I was just looking for some shared experiences as to how other people go about it.

If you do confess to your spiritual director, how? Do you have a whole long conversation then confess at the end? Confess at the beginning then go on to explore things? Make the whole ‘session’ a confession and just explore things in more detail as you go along? I ask because I tend to talk quite a lot and yet I usually keep confession fairly matter of fact. I’m not sure how it would work as a spiritual direction session…

I like to confess every two weeks or so (sometimes weekly but I’m trying not to go too often) and because of distance, I’m only able to see my spiritual director once a month, so I’ll still have to go to someone else in the meantime.

I have a good relationship with my spiritual director and am comfortable discussing this with him, I merely wanted to get an idea first of what was ‘normal’ practice.
 
I usually confess to my SD. We do it at the end of the session. Sometimes I say …and all those things we just spoke about. My SD has told me that he keeps all our sessions, whether confessions is involved or not, under the seal of confession.
 
Batfink said:
I have an excellent priest spiritual director, but I have not yet confessed to him. I do want to and I was just looking for some shared experiences as to how other people go about it.

If you do confess to your spiritual director, how? Do you have a whole long conversation then confess at the end? Confess at the beginning then go on to explore things? Make the whole ‘session’ a confession and just explore things in more detail as you go along? I ask because I tend to talk quite a lot and yet I usually keep confession fairly matter of fact. I’m not sure how it would work as a spiritual direction session…

I like to confess every two weeks or so (sometimes weekly but I’m trying not to go too often) and because of distance, I’m only able to see my spiritual director once a month, so I’ll still have to go to someone else in the meantime.

I have a good relationship with my spiritual director and am comfortable discussing this with him, I merely wanted to get an idea first of what was ‘normal’ practice.
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Greetings Batfink,

My SD is also my confessor. There is no set procedure for confessing at a particular time. However I go to Daily Confession, but when we have SD appointments, I will usually confess at the end. My practice is not the normal mode of practice as most people do not confess that frequently.

I would suggest you asking your SD if you can go to Confession with him and then go from there. You both can address when it would be best for you to Confess at your SD appointments.

God Bless.
Anathama Sit
 
Unfortunately for me, my spiritual director is a deacon. So I don’t get absolution. I go to the priest for that. But I still tell my spiritual director everything. Otherwise, he doesnt know what endangers me, and them he cannot direct me.

There is the same seal of confidentiality I’m spiritual direction as there is in confession. But not because the laws of the Church say so. No, its because for the good of his own soul, he better not say anything. It would also be a scandal to the Church if it was rumored that your spiritual director was a gossip.
 
My spiritual director is also my regular confessor.
We meet about every 4 weeks, and it depends on what is going on with me, as to when we get to the actual “sacrament”. For the most part, I usually do the same thing Joannm talks about in post #2.

I am fortunate that he is very close by, and if needed, all I have to do is call and he will usually make time for me after daily Mass.
 
Batfink said:
I have an excellent priest spiritual director, but I have not yet confessed to him. I do want to and I was just looking for some shared experiences as to how other people go about it.

If you do confess to your spiritual director, how? Do you have a whole long conversation then confess at the end? Confess at the beginning then go on to explore things? Make the whole ‘session’ a confession and just explore things in more detail as you go along? I ask because I tend to talk quite a lot and yet I usually keep confession fairly matter of fact. I’m not sure how it would work as a spiritual direction session…

I like to confess every two weeks or so (sometimes weekly but I’m trying not to go too often) and because of distance, I’m only able to see my spiritual director once a month, so I’ll still have to go to someone else in the meantime.

I have a good relationship with my spiritual director and am comfortable discussing this with him, I merely wanted to get an idea first of what was ‘normal’ practice.
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I have been confessing to my spiritual director approximately 4 years, at his first assignment (about six months), my parish (two years) and at his current assignment (eighteen months). same with you I have a good relationship with my spiritual director. He knows me well (strenghts and weaknesses etc). I go usually once a month
 
I’m another one who confesses to her spiritual director.

Early on he asked me if I preferred to do it at the beginning or the end of our session. My preference was to have the sacrament first so it wasn’t hanging over me as we talked.

It’s amazing to confess to someone who knows you so well. There have been times when he’s seen connections between things I’ve confessed and other things we’ve talked about that I never would have seen on my own.
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
It’s amazing to confess to someone who knows you so well. There have been times when he’s seen connections between things I’ve confessed and other things we’ve talked about that I never would have seen on my own.
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I find this as well. Also he is able to challenge me in ways that he probably would not if it was someone he did not know so well because they may take it the wrong way or be misunderstood.
 
Batfink said:
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If you do confess to your spiritual director, how? .
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at some point during the retreat I ask for confession, and make it quick and dirty, I did this this and this so many times or so often forthisandallthesinsofmypastlifeIamheartilysorry
 
I did, and he was a great sd/confessor. But then I started working for him and it just got awkward. :o
 
BcuzISaidSo said:
I did, and he was a great sd/confessor. But then I started working for him and it just got awkward. :o
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I always have a rule that I would never confess to a priest I worked for or with until I ended up working in a parish with my SD. He wasn’t my boss and I figured he knew all my faults anyway. In fact it was quite convenient having him down the hall. We don’t work together anymore so I am happy I didn’t switch. I still won’t confess to any other priest I work with.
 
Joannm said:
I always have a rule that I would never confess to a priest I worked for or with until I ended up working in a parish with my SD. He wasn’t my boss and I figured he knew all my faults anyway. In fact it was quite convenient having him down the hall. We don’t work together anymore so I am happy I didn’t switch. I still won’t confess to any other priest I work with.
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I hated having no choice for the 13 years that I worked in our small parish. No matter how many priests were in residence, ultimately they were all my bosses since I worked for all four parishes under one office. Nobody wants to discuss some things in confession and then look that same person in the eye over morning coffee, seal of confession notwithstanding. Let me tell you that I always looked forward to the Advent and Lent Penitential services. Since we’re the air hub for the area, the visiting priests who are heading to the Mission parishes for Christmas and Easter usually have a day or two layover here so the services are scheduled to avail of their help at those times.
 
I used to, until he had to move to the infirmary because of his declining physical health, which is now stabilized. He was a great confessor, gave realistic yet thought provoking penances, and frequently would ask me to explain something that I had confessed a little better. Matter of fact that is precisely why I asked him to be my spiritual director. There was very much a “discernment of spirits” component to confession with him. Now he lives at the other end of the state (about an eight hour ride.) I can only get up that way every few months.

We do our weekly SD sessions on Skype, and since you can’t confess in any other format than in person, in real time, I go to confession locally at my own parish. However, I’ve usually kicked the specific sin around with him first, but can’t receive absolution that way. When something emerges during the course of a SD session that looks like sin, he reminds me to take that to confession, so I do. Since his physical illness has not been an impediment to his priestly faculties, when I go downstate I do confess to him.

The Skype sessions actually work out pretty well, since he has references, reading materials, meditative subjects, and the like loaded into his computer documents, and we sometimes review some of them together. He also reviews my prayer and meditation journal (which I keep in my document folder.) He does spiritual direction with half a dozen other people in this format as well, and a couple of people who are local to him now.

It’s an interesting and creative use of the graces and resources we’ve been given to meet adverse situations. All I can say is this: Trust a Jesuit to figure out another way to skin a cat (figuratively speaking, that is!)
 
I have a SD, but keep our sessions to spiritual matters and direction. I just never thought of having him hear my confession during this time. But since I go to daily Mass, if he is the celebrant, I can ask him after Mass.
But I have also confessed to the other priest in our parish, and I do work (volunteer) in the rectory. I have no problem with them “knowing” me and all my faults and sins. After all, they go to confession too, and to priests in the parish whom they occassionally run into.
 
I think having a spiritual director to confess to would be great. I would think that your director would be the expert on confession in the sessions.
 
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