Do you feel you've missed your calling?

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retiredtxn

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I have asked myself this question many times in my life and, if I’m being totally honest with myself, I have to answer, “YES”! I was not always a Catholic. I was raised Methodist but ALWAYS had a draw to Catholicism so I joined the church in the 1970’s. I had had an “experience” with BVM at the Catholic hospital where I was a nurse a couple years before my conversion. I have always ignored the “calling”. I didn’t seek a spiritual advisor at those times when the “calling” was the strongest. I’m not sure why. Maybe I was immature in my faith at that time…or just plain immature. Anyway, I married and raised a family. I tried to be happy with the secular world, but I don’t think I’ve ever been fulfilled. Now that I’m “older” and retired I think back and wonder what my life would have been if I’d persued the “calling”. The best I can do now is advise anyone that “feels” they’re being called to seek an advisor and take your time and pray constantly for guidance. Don’t make any other commitments in your life while you are “sorting” this out. It will only confuse you even more.
 
Hmmm… thanks for your good advice.

May I offer this for whomever is thinking about this as something to chew on.

I was starting to consider becoming a religious (as a sister, not a nun) in my early 20’s. Asked our parish’s DRE as well as my professor in college about this. Although neither one of them had ever met the other, their answer for me was a question back at me. That question?

“What is it that you want to find out if you’re called to be a sister (or nun)? Is it the work? Or is it the lifestyle?”

I answered: “the work!”

At which point, both of them told me this, in so many words:

“You can do the work as a lay person… reaching people whom a sister or a nun would never reach… simply because of the life you’d be living as a lay person.”

I’ve noticed that very frequently, especially in the last few years, I’ve been in a situation where I’ve been called to witness to my faith. To describe it to someone else. And these “someone elses” would never, ever come into the vicinity of a religious.

So, my dear friend (if I may be so bold as to call you a dear friend… I hope so? :o

I sure hope you consider this answer as you think about your life as a married person… and whether or not you may have “missed the boat” for a calling.

For what it’s worth, the Lord is very happy with you… even IF (and THOUGH) you chose a lifestyle other than that as a religious.

👍
 
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retiredtxn:
I have always ignored the “calling”. I didn’t seek a spiritual advisor at those times when the “calling” was the strongest. I’m not sure why.
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My dear friend, I suggest that the exact reason why you “didn’t seek a spiritual advisor” was because the Lord was not calling you to that lifestyle.

Otherwise, you would have not made the lifelong commitment to marry your husband.

Married life is JUST as holy as the religious life.

May I ask… what was it about the religious life that specifically looked or looks so attractive to you?

My suggestion is that whatever that is, that you can still fulfill that as a lay person.
 
I think about it as I raise two unruly teenage children.😉 I considered becoming a nun at a very early age and that stuck with me for a long time. I just never had enough courage to pursue it and before I knew it was married with a child, and later had two more children.

I guess the way I see it is that God calls all of us to serve as witnesses to Him, regardless of where we are at. He may have called me at an early age to be a nun. He may have been disappointed that I ignored this, but He did find other work for me to do for Him, like raising children for Him.

Thank God that He is God and can always find a way for His purpose, even if we don’t obey with his initial plans. Thank God that His ways are so much different than our own. God Bless you all. Pam
 
Hello retiredtxn,
Your advice is good -
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retiredtxn:
The best I can do now is advise anyone that “feels” they’re being called to seek an advisor and take your time and pray constantly for guidance. Don’t make any other commitments in your life while you are “sorting” this out. It will only confuse you even more.
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I would not detract from it. Careful discernment is always prudent - certainly when one’s whole life’s vocation is concerned.

But I do want to add a thought, beginning with this:
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retiredtxn:
… I tried to be happy with the secular world, but I don’t think I’ve ever been fulfilled. Now that I’m “older” and retired I think back and wonder what my life would have been if I’d persued the “calling”.
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A Christian is not going to be “happy” with the secular world, because this world is fallen, and is ever falling. It is condemned to futility, because of the effects of sin at it’s core. This is not our home, and we will always be strangers and aliens here. A different road taken, years back, would not have changed that. You would have a different cross on your back, but still a cross. You would still be bearing the weight of a stranger in a strange land. You would still be “out-of-place”, not quite “fitting” here - a pilgrim - looking to a happiness to come only and finally in His Kingdom.

God has not stopped “calling”. I hope you can and will read “Christifideles Laici”, an exhortation of John Paul II on the vocation of the laity. It is on the internet, at the link provided, but a printed or bound copy would be much easier to read.

God continues to call. In Mt 20:1, a wonderful parable of workers being called into the vineyard is given - this JPII applies in his exhortation, to assure us that *all *are called into the apostolate of the Church - all of us, at each stage of our lives, male and female, clergy, religious and laity: all are called into the vineyard. Please read it - it is great good news.

Thomas
 
Thank all of you soooo much for your words of wisdom! And, yes, Veronica, PLEASE call me “dear friend”!! All the things you all have said I knew within my heart, but you know…when I think how I “missed my call” as a religious…could this be another way that satan (won’t even capitalize the name because I don’t want to gave him any place of “honor”) manipulates us with self-doubt and tries to drive a “wedge” between us and our relationship with Christ?? You are absolutely right…there’s no reason why service and prayer can’t be done by the laity! When I think of all the times Jesus has brought someone in my life that I needed to help, whatever form it may have taken, aren’t I showing His love through me? I guess what I’m saying is, you don’t need to wear a habit or cassock to do God’s will. There’s a saying that I think is so true…Grow where you’re planted. I realize that I will never be happy here on earth, but I can do the best I can while I’m here. If I had my life to do over…I’d certainly pursue finding an advisor and find out if the Religious Life was my true calling. To answer the question why I didn’t look for an advisor at the time…I didn’t know there was such a person. My life was in termoil at the time and I was very young. I was too shy to talk to a priest at that time. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Maybe God had other plans for me.
 
Yes I do, and I regret it, but have to soldier on and be happy with my
lot.
Looking back I never felt worthy, but oh well, I still pray, go to Mass, say the Rosary etc; and offered God my freewill so there are different ways to serve God, horse’s for course’s as some say.
A priest told me a long time ago, that one day i’d be helping other people, don’t quite know what he meant by that :confused: but here I am warts and all.
 
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retiredtxn:
I have asked myself this question many times in my life and, if I’m being totally honest with myself, I have to answer, “YES”! I was not always a Catholic. I was raised Methodist but ALWAYS had a draw to Catholicism so I joined the church in the 1970’s. I had had an “experience” with BVM at the Catholic hospital where I was a nurse a couple years before my conversion. I have always ignored the “calling”. I didn’t seek a spiritual advisor at those times when the “calling” was the strongest. I’m not sure why. Maybe I was immature in my faith at that time…or just plain immature. Anyway, I married and raised a family. I tried to be happy with the secular world, but I don’t think I’ve ever been fulfilled. Now that I’m “older” and retired I think back and wonder what my life would have been }

It’s never too late to grow in your faith. You sound like an excellent candidate for a 3rd or Secular religious Order. You qualify right now! You can still answer the call! God bless you.
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This is a topic that is of interest to me since I am disserning a “late vocation” calling at the present time.

In fact, I went to Mass tonight at the parish I been attending since I moved and talked to the pastor about joining and getting a Spiritual Director. Fortunately, they have a Spritual Director at the parish since it is ran by the Passionists.

Hopefully, God willing, I will be making a decision in about a year on where my life will be going.

PF
 
Thank you, DeaconTony for your encouragement. I have been reading a lot about 3rd orders and seem to “fit the mold”, so to speak. I need to talk to my pastor. I have been praying that God’s will will be revealed to me. I believe I am more receptive to being obedient to Him than I was many years ago. I have matured in many ways and. perhaps, that is what He has been waiting for. Perhaps I can be of better service now than when I was younger. I was definitely full of “self”. I have learned some very valuable lessons about life…the hard way, I might add.

I have always been drawn to the contemplative life. Maybe a Carmelite 3rd order would be fitting. I’m not sure there is a community in my area. I need to look into it.
 
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