Surprised. IF I make it to Heaven, I will be like the sheep in Matthew 25, unsuspecting. Perhaps this is because I don’t think about it at all, or hardly at all.
Rightly or wrongly (and I would invite comment on this), I do not try to avoid sin out of a conscious fear of Hell. I try to avoid sin because I do not want to be a sinful person, because I recognize that those acts are inherently bad, and I believe that they lead to unhappiness in the long term, and lead to harm to those whom I love, and make me less of a person. I do the best I can here and now. but I leave the afterlife to God. I feel that my time here is mine to work with (with God’s help, of course), and any afterlife I am granted is merely by God’s grace and mercy–His to offer on His terms.
I have often wondered if a heightened sense of Hell would cause me to be more consistently good. But I have encountered people who have a much more heightened sense or fear of Hell, and yet they still do a lot of bad things that I would not even consider. So I wonder.
I have had this vague sense that people who are good only to avoid Hell have a legitimate, but less mature faith…like that of a child who does not steal a cookie not because he knows it is wrong but because he knows he will be punished. When he grows up, he doesn’t do it because he knows it is wrong.
I had a friend who told me that he would have no compunction about murder if he found out that God did not exist. Honestly, I worried about being friends with him. For, to me, the Church’s teachings seem self-evidently right–based in reason as well as authority–and the reason was still present, even if the authority somehow came into doubt. For him, the teachings of the Church are only right because of their authority, and apparently have no basis or tie to reason or rationality in his mind.