Do you see someone in error?

[Love4All]

Do you see someone in error? Here is what you should do:

1. Pray for them.

That is the first step, and possibly the most important. Without prayer, positive change is not possible. It is also, always a good thing, to pray for anyone at any time. Sometimes, we think we see someone in error and we cannot even articulate just what their error is, but something is not right. In such a case, prayer may be our only way of helping. Whenever we pray for anyone, God gives grace to that person. If that person rejects the grace, the grace is not wasted, it goes to someone else. So prayer, always obtains more goodness in the world, and that is always a good thing. Sometimes, we can take another step.

1. Articulate the error.

If you can put it into words, that is better than just a feeling that “something is not right.” Putting it into words p(name removed by moderator)oints it, and prepares you for the next step.

1. Explain it to them in a way they can understand.

This is SO important! It is to make this third point that I wished to post this thread. I see so much of people talking past each other, which is utterly a waste of both peoples’ time. It is one thing to see someone in error, it is another thing to be able to put it into words, but it is another thing again to be able to put it into words that they can understand. This takes a bit more time and attention.

The other day I saw a couple of gentlemen preaching to crowds on a street corner, using a megaphone. They were Evangelical Protestants. It struck me that their entire enterprise was pretty much futile, because all they were doing was the standard, “repent, believe, or go to hell” schtick. They wished to tell people about Jesus. But the flaw in their plan was that, without exception, every single person within earshot of them had already heard of Jesus, and already had their own thoughts about him. Some Christians thought they were doing a good thing, other Christians thought they were an embarrassment to Christianity, but absolutely no unbelievers smacked themselves on the head and said, “Wow! These guys are right! I have to change my life!”

Because, they were not doing anything to try to reach their audience with an understanding of the Gospel. Indeed, to a very real extent, they did not understand it themselves. They only knew that someone had said they ought to preach it, and so that’s what they were doing. But not in a part of the world where the Gospel had not yet been heard, but in downtown New Haven, Connecticut.

It is an example of people basing themselves in steps one and two, and ignoring step three. I talked to one of the gentlemen about the real Gospel, and although I did not convert him to Catholicism, he came a little bit closer to being able, eventually, to drop his prejudice against the Church, and we parted on friendly terms. Which brings us to the final step.

1. Let it go.

You can’t conscionably just walk away before making the level attempt to be understood, but once you have made your point in a way that they can understand it, with real understanding, then it is up to them to change. And if you’d like to help them more, see step 1!

 

[ngill09]

I would add a Step 3b: Listen!

Way too often have I seen apologists and Evangelists refuse to listen and respond to the questions and objections of those they are trying to convert.

Otherwise

 

[Love4All]

I would add a Step 3b: Listen!

Way too often have I seen apologists and Evangelists refuse to listen and respond to the questions and objections of those they are trying to convert.

Otherwise

Yes, that is an important part of seeking understanding. It has to be a dialogue.

 

[RedFox0456]

I read your title, and although I know it is with regards to faith, just have to comment. “I see plenty of people in error! I’m a math teacher!” :crying:

 

[Bonnie]

1. Explain it to them in a way they can understand.

This is SO important! It is to make this third point that I wished to post this thread. I see so much of people talking past each other, which is utterly a waste of both peoples’ time. It is one thing to see someone in error, it is another thing to be able to put it into words, but it is another thing again to be able to put it into words that they can understand. This takes a bit more time and attention.

This is the only good thing I learned from Scientology. Whether you are having a discussion, a debate, or are teaching, you must define the terms you are using. I’ve had the experiece of talking with a JW, both of us using the same words, but with utterly different meanings. Frustrating!

 

[Jennifoo]

I see people in error a lot, especially fellow Catholics. I believe in fraternal correction as a work of mercy as well, but your list fails to mention the most important thing: that person has to be willing to hear you. I’ve found out the hard way that most do not. Sadly, too many do not wish to be corrected, no matter how prayerful or charitable you are.

In the past couple years, I’ve endured a lot of mental suffering due to being snubbed or treated badly by fellow Catholics. Some are devout, some not. Some are lay people, others clergy. The devout ones are often members of Cursillo, attend daily Mass, pray the Rosary and practice the Divine Mercy devotion, yet they somehow think it okay to make rash, mean-spirited assumptions about me and to snub me.

As a result, I no longer participate in some of those groups. :nope:

It has been a very heavy and painful cross Very isolating. I’ve learned the hard way that if someone wants to hate you, they will, and there is pretty much NOTHING you can do to stop them. They will see everything you do in a negative way. :sad_yes:

I’ve also discovered that some of the meanest assumptions are made about devout Catholics like myself. I choose to dress up for Mass, wear a chapel veil, and I try to be recollected before, during and after Mass. Because of this, I am considered to be rigid, legalistic, self-righteous, and arrogant. I’m not making this up-people have told me this to my face. When I try to speak with them, they won’t listen.

I’ve also learned that too many Catholics are cliquish. At my weekly faith group, people save seats for each other and refuse to sit with others, even though they know them. I think that 's mean. Last night, the two women I normally sit with weren’t there and I had to sit by myself. I was wiping away tears as inconspicuously as I could. The pain was very deep. :bighanky: There were more tears at home.

So your steps don’t mention this. Yes I do pray for them. But I also think they should know better.

I think such souls will be judged very harshly for this as this behavior goes against what our Lord said about loving each other. It seems that these people think they only have to love some, and not others, as if the Gospel allows them to be selective and so harshly judgmental.

I don’t understand, and I never will.

 

[Love4All]

I see people in error a lot, especially fellow Catholics. I believe in fraternal correction as a work of mercy as well, but your list fails to mention the most important thing: that person has to be willing to hear you. I’ve found out the hard way that most do not. Sadly, too many do not wish to be corrected, no matter how prayerful or charitable you are.

In the past couple years, I’ve endured a lot of mental suffering due to being snubbed or treated badly by fellow Catholics. Some are devout, some not. Some are lay people, others clergy. The devout ones are often members of Cursillo, attend daily Mass, pray the Rosary and practice the Divine Mercy devotion, yet they somehow think it okay to make rash, mean-spirited assumptions about me and to snub me.

As a result, I no longer participate in some of those groups. :nope:

It has been a very heavy and painful cross Very isolating. I’ve learned the hard way that if someone wants to hate you, they will, and there is pretty much NOTHING you can do to stop them. They will see everything you do in a negative way. :sad_yes:

I’ve also discovered that some of the meanest assumptions are made about devout Catholics like myself. I choose to dress up for Mass, wear a chapel veil, and I try to be recollected before, during and after Mass. Because of this, I am considered to be rigid, legalistic, self-righteous, and arrogant. I’m not making this up-people have told me this to my face. When I try to speak with them, they won’t listen.

I’ve also learned that too many Catholics are cliquish. At my weekly faith group, people save seats for each other and refuse to sit with others, even though they know them. I think that 's mean. Last night, the two women I normally sit with weren’t there and I had to sit by myself. I was wiping away tears as inconspicuously as I could. The pain was very deep. :bighanky: There were more tears at home.

So your steps don’t mention this. Yes I do pray for them. But I also think they should know better.

I think such souls will be judged very harshly for this as this behavior goes against what our Lord said about loving each other. It seems that these people think they only have to love some, and not others, as if the Gospel allows them to be selective and so harshly judgmental.

I don’t understand, and I never will.

I feel for you, Jennifoo! It makes me sad that you have to endure that kind of thing. But remember that all that comes our way is sent to us by the Father. Maltreatment from others contributes to our sanctification, if we allow it.

My steps do not include what the other person does, because that is not under my control. Being unwilling to listen falls in between steps 3 and 4, and comes under the heading of, you have to let it go. That is the point of step 4, that some, even though they cannot deny to themselves that they understand, can yet deny it to you and act as if they did not. That is free will.

But my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know that it can hurt very much to be treated badly, particularly by people who ostensibly ought to know better.

 

[Jennifoo]

I feel for you, Jennifoo! It makes me sad that you have to endure that kind of thing. But remember that all that comes our way is sent to us by the Father. Maltreatment from others contributes to our sanctification, if we allow it.

My steps do not include what the other person does, because that is not under my control. Being unwilling to listen falls in between steps 3 and 4, and comes under the heading of, you have to let it go. That is the point of step 4, that some, even though they cannot deny to themselves that they understand, can yet deny it to you and act as if they did not. That is free will.

But my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know that it can hurt very much to be treated badly, particularly by people who ostensibly ought to know better.

Thanks so much for your understanding and compassion. I realize we cannot control how others will respond to us.

As for letting it go, I have let many things go, but some of the bad treatment is ongoing, making that pretty much impossible.

I am trying to practice virtue through all this. One thing I keep in mind to help me cope is that, while I have may have to endure this treatment in this life, the guilty person will have to answer for it in the next.