Do you think homeschooling threads are helpful?

[kamz]

That’s just it. When someone asks, but how are these hsed kids doing, a hser will find a survey to give empirical evidence. And, then, parents with kids in school get offended.

You can’t win.

Ok, but then what if you yourself added " but, in no way am I saying that kids in public school or private school can’t be just as intelligent as home schooled kids, this is just the data that I have found" you can show data but if you yourself admit that by no means are you stating that kids at any type of school can’t also do just as good… I think it would make a big difference… of course show your data but then add that your not saying that kids at private and public schools can’t do just as good, your just showing some statistics that are out there. I think when parents become upset is when a homeschooling parent shows the statistic and then doesn’t add the fact that doesn’t mean that other forms of school can’t and don’t turn out just as smart kids… that would be very good unless you don’t believe that and then I guess you will always face people feeling hurt.

 

[Cari]

Ok, but then what if you yourself added " but, in no way am I saying that kids in public school or private school can’t be just as intelligent as home schooled kids, this is just the data that I have found" you can show data but if you yourself admit that by no means are you stating that kids at any type of school can’t also do just as good… I think it would make a big difference… of course show your data but then add that your not saying that kids at private and public schools can’t do just as good, your just showing some statistics that are out there. I think when parents become upset is when a homeschooling parent shows the statistic and then doesn’t add the fact that doesn’t mean that other forms of school can’t and don’t turn out just as smart kids… that would be very good unless you don’t believe that and then I guess you will always face people feeling hurt.

I understand what you’re saying, and agree that we could all be more sensitive to the trials we as parents share, however, I don’t think I need to to so by soothing the conscience of parents who don’t homeschool.

It’s like me getting into a respectful discussion with a Protestant who doesn’t believe in the Real Presence. I’m not going to explain my point of view, but then soothe her conscience by saying that her view of the Eucharist is just as effective.

Are there smart kids coming out of public and private schools? Of course. But I don’t think that homeschooling parents need to reassure public/private school parents of that fact. As a former public school teacher who now homeschools, I will be brutally honest when I say that I think homeschooling is the superior option. However, that is NOT to say that I think homeschoolers are superior PEOPLE. That’s the distinction that needs to be made.

Yes, I have seen threads where homeschoolers give a kneejerk “my children won’t do drugs/be disrepectful/have premaritial sex like your poor publically schooled children will” response. This is just as useless as public school rants and should be avoided.

So I agree that we should ALL exercise more Christian charity and less judgement. However, I have to respectfully disagree when you suggest that homeschoolers need to hedge a charitable expression of their viewpoint with reassuring words to soothe public schooler’s minds.

Cheers,
Cari

 

[kamz]

I understand what you’re saying, and agree that we could all be more sensitive to the trials we as parents share, however, I don’t think I need to to so by soothing the conscience of parents who don’t homeschool.

It’s like me getting into a respectful discussion with a Protestant who doesn’t believe in the Real Presence. I’m not going to explain my point of view, but then soothe her conscience by saying that her view of the Eucharist is just as effective.

Are there smart kids coming out of public and private schools? Of course. But I don’t think that homeschooling parents need to reassure public/private school parents of that fact. As a former public school teacher who now homeschools, I will be brutally honest when I say that I think homeschooling is the superior option. However, that is NOT to say that I think homeschoolers are superior PEOPLE. That’s the distinction that needs to be made.

Yes, I have seen threads where homeschoolers give a kneejerk “my children won’t do drugs/be disrepectful/have premaritial sex like your poor publically schooled children will” response. This is just as useless as public school rants and should be avoided.

So I agree that we should ALL exercise more Christian charity and less judgement. However, I have to respectfully disagree when you suggest that homeschoolers need to hedge a charitable expression of their viewpoint with reassuring words to soothe public schooler’s minds.

Cheers,
Cari

 

[gardenswithkids]

Ok, but then what if you yourself added " but, in no way am I saying that kids in public school or private school can’t be just as intelligent as home schooled kids, this is just the data that I have found" you can show data but if you yourself admit that by no means are you stating that kids at any type of school can’t also do just as good… I think it would make a big difference… of course show your data but then add that your not saying that kids at private and public schools can’t do just as good, your just showing some statistics that are out there. I think when parents become upset is when a homeschooling parent shows the statistic and then doesn’t add the fact that doesn’t mean that other forms of school can’t and don’t turn out just as smart kids… that would be very good unless you don’t believe that and then I guess you will always face people feeling hurt.

Kamz, I read your comments here and on the public/private school myth thread. I think you may be a touch sensitive when you expect every homeschooling statistic sighted to come with a disclaimer. When other schools boast about their achievements should they add disclaimers too? I don’t think that’s reasonable.

Few people homeschool exclusively all the way from K-12. We homeschool our children in grammar school and send one to a Catholic high school. (We hope to send all our children to that high school, but it’s expensive.) We pretty much take things one year at a time. I know former homeschoolers who stopped homeschooling for various reasons; I don’t look down on them. I never feel looked down on by other homeschoolers for opting to send our oldest to high school. Several even ask detailed questions about the curriculum etc. because they consider sending their children there too.

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Oh yeah, this thread’s topic. I don’t know. I like reading how other Catholics educate at home. I like encountering other Catholic homeschoolers, and these threads help me identify the other homeschoolers on this forum. I used to be rather shy about mentioning here that we homeschooled. I had my own stereotype idea of homeschoolers too–and didn’t want to be associated with that. Lately I have responded to more homeschooling threads. I sometimes end up feeling the need to defend the choice to homeschool when other posters question parents’ abilities to teach and properly socialize their children. I think Leonie’s done well starting other homeschooling threads, attempting to bring the debates out away from a thread someone just started to ask an innocent question about homeschooling.

 

[PaulinVA]

It’s like me getting into a respectful discussion with a Protestant who doesn’t believe in the Real Presence. I’m not going to explain my point of view, but then soothe her conscience by saying that her view of the Eucharist is just as effective.

Cari

Cari, I can’t believe that you equate public schoolers with protestants who don’t believe in the Real Presence.

Wow.

 

[kamz]

Cari, I can’t believe that you equate public schoolers with protestants who don’t believe in the Real Presence.

Wow.

Thank you Paul… I wasn’t sure if I was reading that correctly or not but I see you saw that too

 

[Cari]

Cari, I can’t believe that you equate public schoolers with protestants who don’t believe in the Real Presence.

Wow.

Yes. That’s what I said. Protestants who don’t believe in the Real Presence are just like public schoolers.

Please re-read my post. And stop putting words into my mouth.

Thank you,
Cari

 

[leonie]

oh uh. The thread about whether hsing theads are helpful is headed downhill fast into another contentious debate.



How ironic

 

[Cari]

My apologies for the part I’ve played in the disinegration.

 

[monicatholic]

in peace and goodwill cari, may i respond, with a perspective of disagreement to this section :

As a former public school teacher who now homeschools, I will be brutally honest when I say that I think homeschooling is the superior option. However, that is NOT to say that I think homeschoolers are superior PEOPLE. That’s the distinction that needs to be made.

as a successful homeschooler for 17 years-- just graduated our fourth highschooler today!!! – and God willing, hope to continue for a long time, i think homeschooling is not always the ‘superior option’. i think, under good conditions, homeschooling has better potential for better outcome, but real people with real lives homeschool and conditions/ motives/ circumstances/ resources are not always good.

moving on: i love homeschooling and believe God has guided us to this choice. often enough, my husband and i find ourselves, because of circumstances and events, even after seventeen years of homeschooling, prayerfully reassessing our decision to homeschool. so far, we believe God has reiterated His desire for our family to homeschool and so we continue.

but my two biggest problems with general homeschooling is this:

1. homeschool boastfulness/ defensiveness: homeschooling seems the favorite sport of Catholic neo-triumpantalists. Catholic homeschoolers, instead of following Jesus’ example to humbly offer no self-defense, blow their own horns loudly and argue the issue often.
2. conventional schoolers who perceive our choice to homeschool as a personal indictment against them. conventional schoolers who need to warn/hope/suspect that we will fail or are already failing badly.

yeah, it’s true that most conventionally schooling parents will respond to “we homeschool” with either a list of why they never could or would, or a litany of questions about my kids’ wellbeing.

but i am supposed to behave myself and not incite further prejudice, (those homeschoolers are soooo holier-than-thou!!!) or not inspire resentment, judgment or pity against my children (did you see how shy she was??? that kid needs to be around kids her age in the real world!!!)

the only people to whom i am required to site statistics and studies and relay personal outcomes and anecdotes is to my children’s grandparents-- and even to them in a very limited measure and only if they exhibit goodwill. they had their kids and made their choices as they best fit their family. it’s our turn to do the same.

i know i am approaching this from a very veteran perspective. maybe it will help to balance some of the defensiveness turned unhumble triumph we homeschoolers tend to exhibit.

 

[monicatholic]

i was typing while others were attempting to restore unity on this thread making my post somewhat superfluous and possibly outright unhelpful.

superfluous and unhelpful-- look in the dictionary and you’ll see my picture.

 

[kamz]

That was very well said Monicacatholic.

My husband and I also prayed and discerned what God’s will for our children’s education would be and we prayed about all forms of schooling and God clearly led us to our parishes Catholic school… everything fell into place so clearly that it was so totally an answer from God.

I don’t want homeschoolers to fail… I have three friends in my women’s bible study who home school and I love them dearly and respect how they did just what I did… prayed and discerned and followed God’s path for their family.

I could easily “toot” my horn… so to say about how amazing the Catholic school my kids go to is… and in my opinion it is an amazing school and I can see my kids becoming amazing Catholics… it is so nice to teach them from our end at home and get it at school too and having my kids make friends with kids that share our faith and values.

I certainly don’t think my decision is for everyone… heck no… this is where God brought MY family and I think my kids are doing awesome and their grades are excellent and their faith is so strong.

I don’t think I’m superior to anyone… no way… not even… I am just a mom and a wife trying to do the best I can and be the best Catholic I can be.

I don’t think I know it all… far from it… and I don’t know how my kids will be 20 years from now… I’m just taking it one day at a time and relying on the Lord.

I don’t think homeschooling parents should have to explain themselves to anybody but neither should parents who don’t home school… and I don’t think either should play this underhanded game of “my way is superior to your way” because really… how do we know? Just because of some statistics… I’m concerned with MY kids and how they will do in this world as Catholic citizens… I need the support of other moms and their advice… I don’t need to tell them that my kids are superior because they are in a Catholic school… I don’t know yet… I won’t know for a long time what type of adults my kids will be… so I pray over them, love them, volunteer at their school so I can be active at all times in their education… and I’m sure you all do the same… I honestly thought that we could find our common strengths but I am very saddened to see that people are more concerned with pointing out how better their choice is… I am a sensitive person… I probably care way too much… I like to see the very best in people… maybe I should get a tuff skin and not be so caring…

 

[bear06]

I don’t think homeschooling parents should have to explain themselves to anybody but neither should parents who don’t home school… and I don’t think either should play this underhanded game of “my way is superior to your way” because really… how do we know? Just because of some statistics… I’m concerned with MY kids and how they will do in this world as Catholic citizens… I need the support of other moms and their advice… I don’t need to tell them that my kids are superior because they are in a Catholic school… I don’t know yet… I won’t know for a long time what type of adults my kids will be… so I pray over them, love them, volunteer at their school so I can be active at all times in their education… and I’m sure you all do the same… I honestly thought that we could find our common strengths but I am very saddened to see that people are more concerned with pointing out how better their choice is… I am a sensitive person… I probably care way too much… I like to see the very best in people… maybe I should get a tuff skin and not be so caring.

This is where it gets frustrating. Nobody here has said anything different than you have said above. Nobody said their kids were superior to yours. You are taking two systems of schooling and making it personal. Yes we have statistics showing that we believe that the homeschooling education is superior. Yes we can show that we don’t have the same peer pressure issues as schoolers, etc. These are facts we believe to be true. We’ve also said 100 times that homeschooling is not for everyone. For some it may even be an outright mistake. You’re choice may be superior for your family and mine may be superior for my family. Likewise, my choice may not be superior for your family and my choice may not be superior for yours. For example, just because we feel that there is a lot less negative peer pressure homeschooling (I really don’t think anyone can dispute that fact) doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a good choice for your family. It’s simply something that we find a great advantage for us.

Homeschooling doesn’t get rid of the stain of original sin. It’s no guarantee that kids will be perfect. Are we happy now?

 

[PaulinVA]

If homeschooling threads are helpful to the homeschoolers, they should continue. Probably the others should butt out of those threads.

The hs to private to public school comparison threads are also useful, believe it or not. There is a gulf of understanding between the groups, even though we have a common faith, and that gulf needs to be bridged. Give your arguments, listen to others, try to find understanding, be charitable, and group hug at the end.

 

[kamz]

This is where it gets frustrating. Nobody here has said anything different than you have said above. Nobody said their kids were superior to yours. You are taking two systems of schooling and making it personal. Yes we have statistics showing that we believe that the homeschooling education is superior. Yes we can show that we don’t have the same peer pressure issues as schoolers, etc. These are facts we believe to be true. We’ve also said 100 times that homeschooling is not for everyone. For some it may even be an outright mistake. You’re choice may be superior for your family and mine may be superior for my family. Likewise, my choice may not be superior for your family and my choice may not be superior for yours. For example, just because we feel that there is a lot less negative peer pressure homeschooling (I really don’t think anyone can dispute that fact) doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a good choice for your family. It’s simply something that we find a great advantage for us.

Homeschooling doesn’t get rid of the stain of original sin. It’s no guarantee that kids will be perfect. Are we happy now?

thank you, thank you, thank you!!

 

[bear06]

thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Hey, tenth time is a charm!

 

[leonie]

If homeschooling threads are helpful to the homeschoolers, they should continue. Probably the others should butt out of those threads.

The hs to private to public school comparison threads are also useful, believe it or not. There is a gulf of understanding between the groups, even though we have a common faith, and that gulf needs to be bridged. Give your arguments, listen to others, try to find understanding, be charitable, and group hug at the end.

okay, I’m not a very affectionate type, but…

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[bear06]

okay, I’m not a very affectionate type, but…

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Hey, we have a smiley for that one!:grouphug: