Do you think our Catholic church need to get rid of stipends?

  • Thread starter Thread starter PoorChurchForThePoor
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
LittleFlower said:
I am bowing out of this thread, just like the last one where I raised my dismay on the amounts “set” to get married.

🌷
Click to expand...
🤨

This is not a “set” amount to get married this is a set amount to rent the church and celebrate a marriage. There is a HUGE difference.
 
Look, I have spoke with various parishes when I was getting married and have had friends who have experienced the same thing.

They were refused a reduction in price, and guess what, so was I.

My parish priest said explicitly he would not lower the price for us OR anyone because then everyone would want a lower price. He disregarded our financial situation after repeated pleas.

We, after many tries, finally found a priest who was willing to marry us for $500.

It was a wedding party with less than 20 people, no flowers, no musicians, absolutely nothing except the sacrament.

It is normal in Australia, to charge around $700-$1000 for a wedding. My experience and around now three other couples, is that they are not happy or completely unwilling to budge.

One couple said stuff it, and when to the registry office and has basically left the church after trying to find someone who would marry them in a similar manner as us. The parish we went to has had it’s priest retired.

But sure, it’s a fixed donation.
 
LittleFlower said:
Look, I have spoke with various parishes when I was getting married and have had friends who have experienced the same thing.

They were refused a reduction in price, and guess what, so was I.

My parish priest said explicitly he would not lower the price for us OR anyone because then everyone would want a lower price. He disregarded our financial situation after repeated pleas.

We, after many tries, finally found a priest who was willing to marry us for $500.

It was a wedding party with less than 20 people, no flowers, no musicians, absolutely nothing except the sacrament.

It is normal in Australia, to charge around $700-$1000 for a wedding. My experience and around now three other couples, is that they are not happy or completely unwilling to budge.

One couple said stuff it, and when to the registry office and has basically left the church after trying to find someone who would marry them in a similar manner as us. The parish we went to has had it’s priest retired.

But sure, it’s a fixed donation.
Click to expand...
So, after a Daily Mass then?

Or, as I suspect, an outside time when you had the church to yourself?

You want something for nothing. Life dosn’t work that way.
 
I would suggest that everyone step back and actually be a tad more charitable here.

This actually effects people in real life, and has put people off the church for good.

Also to continually imply that I or others wanted a huge wedding and don’t want to pony up the cash is completely rude.

Lastly, why is it so hard to understand that this is actually happening? It may be hard to swallow but yes, it is happening.
 
LittleFlower said:
I would suggest that everyone step back and actually be a tad more charitable here.

This actually effects people in real life, and has put people off the church for good.

Also to continually imply that I or others wanted a huge wedding and don’t want to pony up the cash is completely rude.

Lastly, why is it so hard to understand that this is actually happening? It may be hard to swallow but yes, it is happening.
Click to expand...
Finding one (or two) sinful parishes in the whole wide world is not really that surprising. That is why we have a church hierarchy. Finding sinners is easy.

Just because your pretty pretty princess day entailed “only” 20 people and no extra flowers doesn’t mean that you didn’t get to do it for free. You are asking someone to go out of their way for you.

Even if it was simply after a daily Mass it would be negligent to not offer some funds.

But you know, SACRAMENT!!!

So you shouldn’t have to pay.

Nope.
 
In places where such a thing takes place, it is a violation of Church law not an example of it.

I am sorry if your priest refused to marry you in absence of a $500+ fee. This is highly irregular.

Did you contact the chancery office about the issue?
 
1ke said:
In places where such a thing takes place, it is a violation of Church law not an example of it.

I am sorry if your priest refused to marry you in absence of a $500+ fee. This is highly irregular.

Did you contact the chancery office about the issue?
Click to expand...
Agreed.

We have a church higherarchy for a reason.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
Just because your pretty pretty princess day entailed “only” 20 people and no extra flowers doesn’t mean that you didn’t get to do it for free.
Click to expand...
That is rude. First implying it’s a “pretty pretty princess” day rather than a holy and serious day for the poster is uncalled for. The Poster already stated she asked to be married during a regular daily mass— and attending mass is open to her 20 friends and family members.

Yes, the sacrament of marriage IS to be administered FREELY.

The offering on the occasion of the sacraments is customary, regulated at the province level as to its maximum, usually given, but NEVER obligatory.

I didn’t see where the poster was unwilling to give an offering. The offering to the parish would not be a huge sum.
 
Last edited:
1ke said:
40.png
Xanthippe_Voorhees:
Just because your pretty pretty princess day entailed “only” 20 people and no extra flowers doesn’t mean that you didn’t get to do it for free.
Click to expand...
That is rude. First implying it’s a “pretty pretty princess” day rather than a holy and serious day for the poster is uncalled for. The Poster already stated she asked to be married during a regular daily mass— and detaining mass is open to her 20 friends and family members.

Yes, he sacrament of marriage IS to be administered FREELY.

The offering on the occasion of the sacraments is customary, regulated at the province level as to its maximum, usually given, but NEVER obligatory.
Click to expand...
There’s waaaaaay more to this story I’m betting.

The issue is that just because one strips things down to the bare minimum doesn’t give one the right to do it for no “charge”.

You’re still asking for a priest’s time. You’re still using the church. You’re still needing so much.

If the priest refused to offer the sacrament under any condition, then the bishop should of been informed. That was wrong.

But stating that it should be done for free because it wasn’t a big song and pony show is not necessary.

It is a sacrament. Who does and doesn’t attend and what the persons require has no bearing on its validity.

The priest failed in his obligation to offer the sacrament free after a Mass when it would be convenient to him. That was wrong. That should of been brought to the Bishop’s attention immediately.

But other than that…the poster got “her day”. And that SHOULD be compensated.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
Finding one (or two) sinful parishes in the whole wide world is not really that surprising. That is why we have a church hierarchy. Finding sinners is easy.

Just because your pretty pretty princess day entailed “only” 20 people and no extra flowers doesn’t mean that you didn’t get to do it for free. You are asking someone to go out of their way for you.

Even if it was simply after a daily Mass it would be negligent to not offer some funds.

But you know, SACRAMENT!!!

So you shouldn’t have to pay.

Nope.
Click to expand...
You are being again extremely rude.

Why?

It is a sacrament. As part of the faithful I am allowed to, when fulfilling certain criteria, receive this sacrament.

This pdf from the Australian Catholic Marriage and Family Council shows that they allow for it and one should discuss financial burdens with the priest.

Catholic Australia

Catholic Australia - A work of the Australian Catholic Bishops Conference.
www.acmfc.org.au www.acmfc.org.au

But there is an expectation that you pay. We were happy to pay but not $1000, that was at the time around 50% of our savings, which would have left us one pay day away from being on the kerb.

But sure, I needed a pretty princess day. 😟

And guess what? I have been in the process of making a complaint.

This thread is about stipends and paying for things, this is what I am highlighting—I don’t understand why when people call out things happening in the Church that some just go completely off the deep end.

This is no longer a constructive debate. This is basically shaming me into silence because I dare say I don’t agree with the status quo of what is happening here.

I am currently living through the end of the Royal Commission into Child Sexual Abuse in Australia, and these reactions to criticisms is exactly what put us in the pooper in the first place. You have to be able to accept that other people’s experiences in the Church can differ and that the clergy can make mistakes which have grave impacts on the faithful.

Refusing the lower the amount charged is disgraceful. We never asked for it for free, we asked for a reduction is price.

Please, I really beg of everyone, to just actually read what is being written—do not listen with deaf ears.
 
I do not have to unpack every single incident to make a valid point.

Stop trying to silence me because what I am saying is uncomfortable to hear.
 
Last edited:
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
The issue is that just because one strips things down to the bare minimum doesn’t give one the right to do it for no “charge”
Click to expand...
Actually, it does.

The fees associated with a wedding are for private use of the church. Marrying during mass has no fee at all.

The offering made to the Church is suggested, not obligatory. And the poster never indicated they were opposed to making an offering.
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
But stating that it should be done for free
Click to expand...
All sacrament are “done” for free.

Offerings are always suggested and customary, never required. There is NO quid pro quo, ever. Not required up front and not asked for if not forthcoming from the person(s) receiving the sacrament.

An offering to the parish is always voluntary, as is any gift to the priest. This is CHURCH LAW. Moreover even the appearance of trafficking in the sacraments is to be avoided, per church law.
 
No you are repeatedly rolling your eyes, being rude, being insensitive (which goes against the community guidelines), you’re being inflammatory, and not contributing to the debate at all.

Yes, and you know what—we are in a Catholic forum and the guidelines clearly show your behaviour is wrong.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top