Do you think you can live in solitude to better serve God?

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Robert_Sock

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I have been living in solitude for many years, and have not considered it much of a problem. If I would die today, I doubt that anybody would come to my funeral, but that does not bother me because I would be Home.

I consider myself to be highly spiritual and I study Christian (mostly The Imitation of Christ) and Jewish (mostly from the* Tanya* from Chabad) mysticism. I also watch the Daily Mass, the Holy Rosary, and The Way of the Cross, by Saint Francis of Assisi youtube.com/watch?v=oZ9om4YElns But the key for me to enjoy peace and calm in solitude is to pray constantly by training yourself to keep a phrase that is dedicated to God, or to stay religious motivated, in my mind at all times. For example, I often use one of the following religious thoughts:
  1. ‘And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’
    –Mark 12:30
  2. “Fix your eyes on the riches of Heaven and everything earthly will become trivial!”
  3. “Death is the gateway to everlasting love.”
When I feel I have drifted too far away from God, I go into silent prayer focusing on one of these three favorite phrases.

There is nothing that I want in this world, and I do not like being around people, although I do listen to classical and religious music and upkeep a high-quality sound system.
 
While I enjoy and seek quiet more than many folks I know, I have found that I can best serve God by serving others.
 
However some are called to a more contemplative life and are not suited to “hands on service”.
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Better?
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Generally I would say “no”, not “better”. But for some, “appropriate”, **although probably not **for most.
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What Deacon says is true.

I believe it takes a very strong soul, and (an excellent Spiritual Director) to discern that one is seeking the contemplative life in the proper context,for the proper reason, and with the ability to truly follow the will of God and not our own will, which can sometimes seek to withdraw due to pain, misunderstanding, or illness.
 
pianistclare said:
What Deacon says is true.

I believe it takes a very strong soul, and (an excellent Spiritual Director) to discern that one is seeking the contemplative life in the proper context,for the proper reason, and with the ability to truly follow the will of God and not our own will, which can sometimes seek to withdraw due to pain, misunderstanding, or illness.
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A spiritual director can end up costing a lot of money and a loss of time. Finding a good spiritual director who is highly knowledgeable about a given individual living in solitude can be very tough.

I tend to be a listener to the Holy Spirit living within me, and I would pay good attention if and when my living in solitude was causing spiritual/religious problems. Even when I was still an atheist I greatly preferred solitude over my being social.

In my defense of living a religious life of solitude, it really feels to me that that is what God wants from me. If a spiritual were to suggest otherwise, I would feel forced by the Holy Spirit to find another spiritual director. My desire to live in solitude is just too strong to just change. Same is true for my becoming more social–it’s just not something I’m able to do.

There is simply nothing that I desire from this lowly world other than my interest in my listening to classical and religious music, such as Gregorian Chant.
 
I’d say that serving God requires being with people, that to serve Him requires serving others.

ICXC NIKA
 
As a person who has always enjoyed a significant amount of solitary time, today’s society has a bit of a bias against those who are not seeking out the company of other humans. Many people consider it unnatural or unhealthy, and others just assume anyone by themself must automatically be lonely or desire company. Indeed, some people are so anxious to have company that they will keep friends around who they don’t seem to truly like or who create all sorts of drama in their lives.

I see nothing wrong with being solitary if you feel called to it and that it suits you. If you want to go deeper with your faith, get a spiritual director.

I note however, the fact that you (and me both) are posting on here is a way of seeking a bit of a connection with other people, so we are not that solitary 🙂 maybe just more in a physical sense because when I want my quiet time I can turn the laptop off, but it’s hard to ask someone to physically leave your house because you want to be alone now.
 
OP, given your medical history which you have been quite open and frank about over the years…the fact that you want be in solitude is concerning.
The good Deacon has outlined very well, and in great detail how most of us need to be very careful when left to our own devices.

If your goal is to draw closer to God, withdrawing from the world can only take you so far.
All prayer is private. I am often alone with God at my desk. In my choir loft when the church is empty. On a path at the state park.

Serving God requires being open to where He leads you. And often, it is nearer to other people who suffer, who are ill, who are lonely, who are homeless.

Here’s some things you can do if you’re not into huge piles of people:
  • Go to the nearest nursing home and play chess or cards with a resident.
  • Go to a food bank and load orders.
  • Go to a no-kill shelter and play with the abandoned pets.
  • Go to a library and record books on tape for the blind.
All of these things require minimal contact with others, but greatly helps someone.
Being the hands and feet of Christ doesn’t mean we enter a dark room and withdraw.

One can do that certainly, for a silent retreat, yes.
But I’m pretty sure that is not what you are talking about.

When we have difficulty with others, the only thing that helps this is BEING with others.
In this, we glorify God and serve Him.

Peace, Robert
 
pianistclare said:
OP, given your medical history which you have been quite open and frank about over the years…**the fact that you want be in solitude is concerning. **
The good Deacon has outlined very well, and in great detail how most of us need to be very careful when left to our own devices.

If your goal is to draw closer to God, withdrawing from the world can only take you so far.
All prayer is private. I am often alone with God at my desk. In my choir loft when the church is empty. On a path at the state park.

Serving God requires being open to where He leads you. And often, it is nearer to other people who suffer, who are ill, who are lonely, who are homeless.

Here’s some things you can do if you’re not into huge piles of people:
  • Go to the nearest nursing home and play chess or cards with a resident.
  • Go to a food bank and load orders.
  • Go to a no-kill shelter and play with the abandoned pets.
  • Go to a library and record books on tape for the blind.
All of these things require minimal contact with others, but greatly helps someone.
Being the hands and feet of Christ doesn’t mean we enter a dark room and withdraw.

One can do that certainly, for a silent retreat, yes.
But I’m pretty sure that is not what you are talking about.

When we have difficulty with others, the only thing that helps this is BEING with others.
In this, we glorify God and serve Him.

Peace, Robert
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Forgive my saying this, but you sound to me to be making assumptions and perhaps being somewhat judgmental. Everyone has a right to their opinion, but I do not believe that you know me well enough to make the statement that you do. Know that many saints had afflictions that they had to overcome, and nobody knew their potential for being on the path they choose except God. Admit that you may be wrong and that the path I’m on may be exactly how God has my life planned. I admit that a spiritual director may be what I need, but it’s not my current priority.
 
This is my humble opinion. I think that anyone with a good computer and Internet access is not really living a solitary or hermetic life. In essence it becomes a social, cultural, and even an escapism kind of life. Saint Francis tried it, yet he was not entirely alone or a hermit as St. Clare was a frequent visitor and supporter. His followers came to him. Jesus spent 40 days in the desert, but the devil was his ‘companion.’ In his 3 years of teaching preaching He was seldom alone. I am sure He would have liked some alone time away from the world where He could pray in peace.
For most of us retreat time and trediums have to suffice.

So. my guess is that solitary life or being a hermit-self imposed, takes us away from the Church rather than putting us in communion with the Church. Because it takes a very special kind of person to live a solitary or hermetic life the Church is very cautious about approving such a lifestyle. As I said, this is just my opinion/understanding of it. Peace.
 
Robert, I’m with you. I feel you can serve others by your prayers and sacrifices and solitude.

When I was in my twenties, I volunteered for everything in my parish. I am now in my fifties and want nothing more than to be alone. I feel that I am much more authentic this way. All that activity that I did was not the real me.

Best wishes in your pursuit of God.
 
jaimeleglise said:
Robert, I’m with you. I feel you can serve others by your prayers and sacrifices and solitude.

When I was in my twenties, I volunteered for everything in my parish. I am now in my fifties and want nothing more than to be alone. I feel that I am much more authentic this way. All that activity that I did was not the real me.

Best wishes in your pursuit of God.
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I spent almost half of my life volunteering in different charities and organizations, helping as much as I can, now i have almost no energy left and I’m in my twenties, I feel so old and tired that all I want is solitude, peace and death.
 
ANV said:
I spent almost half of my life volunteering in different charities and organizations, helping as much as I can, now i have almost no energy left and I’m in my twenties, I feel so old and tired that all I want is solitude, peace and death.
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I believe that life will become much more valued in the Hereafter, but here in this world, especially suffering with anxiety, I would prefer being non-existent.
 
There are things that we prefer. But, of course, God gave us the gift of life. Our life belongs to Him - to do with it what He thinks is best.
We will all be called to judgement. What Jesus is looking for is fruit. He gives us grace - are we fruitful with it?
If solitude means spiritual sacrifice, giving of ourselves in prayer, purity of worship to God – that is very frutiful.
If it means working on our sinfulness, making progress in virtue, repenting and doing penance, giving up selfishness (a special temptation for those who live by themselves, for themselves), then that is fruitful.
If solitude means seeking the most pleasant way to live, avoiding anything that discomforts us, living for ourselves,covering-up our many sins under the guise of piety, not willing to face accountability for ourselves and our lives, cutting off people who need us … then this is not fruitful and it’s actually a very bad way of life.
Yes, we can desire to be away from this life and life in oneness with God.
But it’s far better to desire everything God wants. He wants us alive, for a reason. We should want that more than anything because it is His will. “Thy will be done”.
 
Regarding burn-out in corporal charity.
Whatever amount of good deeds and charitable volunteering we do must be supported by an even greater amount of prayer.
Usually people try to do good deeds with less prayer. The good deeds replace prayer.
The book, Soul of the Apostolate teaches about the danger of that.
Those of us (I include myself) who ended up being burnt out and incapable of any further actions – fell right into the trap that is described with perfect precision in that great book.

Prayer and action. They both go together but prayer comes first and must be far more abundant than action.

It is better to consistently do a few, small good works, than to do massive amounts of good works for a brief time and then nothing afterwards.
 
ANV said:
I spent almost half of my life volunteering in different charities and organizations, helping as much as I can, now i have almost no energy left and I’m in my twenties, I feel so old and tired that all I want is solitude, peace and death.
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With all due respect, this kind of comment just proves that it’s not beneficial for some people.
If all you want is solitude and death, you were never really in communion with God’s people. This is an attitude of throwing in the towel, or abandonment.
There could have been a big problem with the way those ministries were managed, or implemented. This does not mean that working with other for the Church is bad. It means that sometimes we feel like we are too indispensable, like if we don’t do it, it won’t get done, or it won’t be done right. That’s a totally separate issue, and not one of a servant.

Do people sometimes walk all over us? You bet. We allow it in an effort to “be nice”.
it is a very PC and over-rated thing, because often, “being nice” means we are false, or insincere as well. Some people will read this and accuse me of not “being nice”.

St Theresa of Calcutta lays it out pretty well:

***People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.***

That last line doesn’t mean WITHDRAW…it means make sure your focus is aligned to God.
 
Robert_Sock said:
I believe that life will become much more valued in the Hereafter, but here in this world, especially suffering with anxiety, I would prefer being non-existent.
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Definitely, non existence is preferable to existence.
pianistclare said:
With all due respect, this kind of comment just proves that it’s not beneficial for some people.
If all you want is solitude and death, you were never really in communion with God’s people. This is an attitude of throwing in the towel, or abandonment.
There could have been a big problem with the way those ministries were managed, or implemented. This does not mean that working with other for the Church is bad. It means that sometimes we feel like we are too indispensable, like if we don’t do it, it won’t get done, or it won’t be done right. That’s a totally separate issue, and not one of a servant.

Do people sometimes walk all over us? You bet. We allow it in an effort to “be nice”.
it is a very PC and over-rated thing, because often, “being nice” means we are false, or insincere as well. Some people will read this and accuse me of not “being nice”.

St Theresa of Calcutta lays it out pretty well:

***People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.***

That last line doesn’t mean WITHDRAW…it means make sure your focus is aligned to God.
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They were not religious charities or ministries, for I have not been a believer since long time.
I don’t think if I ever help it would be for my relationship with God, that is a selfish thinking, it would be for those who are suffering and in struggle.
 
ANV said:
Definitely, non existence is preferable to existence.
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Why do you think that? Eternal life of happiness in love of God?
I don’t think if I ever help it would be for my relationship with God, that is a selfish thinking, it would be for those who are suffering and in struggle.
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Yes, but it is God who will help you give the best care to those in need.
 
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