L
lillydew
Guest
Hi distracted,
You are absolutely spot on in your ‘epiphany’ you speak of. This is one of the very important lessons I have learnt: ***a child reacts, ***an adult responds out of choice and this is the very free will that God gave to us. Now as to whether or not I use this consistently is another matter! This is the process or the journey I speak of, regardless of whether it is marriage, religious life or singular life, it’s our journey back home to be reconciled with the Father through Jesus. Knowing that I have choice is the very freedom I have in Christ. This is what St. Bonaventure (and St. Francis) gave to me in his writings: let love be your guiding force in all that you do. We know that ‘all things come together for those who love the Lord’ and so if we choose love (which is from God), then we can be be rest assured of this promise. This is an ongoing choice, we are imperfect in these bodies, but it is through the redemption of the cross that we can lay claim to the promises Jesus made to us.
DH has Complicated PTSD which is a result of both the sexual abuse I spoke of and the sense of abandonment you speak of, and yes, you are also right in what you say is the effect of abandonment (the message s/he is nothing). When you combine the two, believe me, this is why they call it Complicated PTSD. IMO I guess that it is the therapy that attempts to address the reasons why and for the person to be able to acknowledge their behaviours accordingly. It is a huge leap to be able understand how this does affect your life: so many in therapy actually deny that they really are unwell for a long time (according to DH’s therapist) because it means that you have to take responsibility for your own actions which is part of becoming an adult and not the child wanting the ‘bad’ things to go away. (By the way, SSA is same sex attraction). Yes, you are becoming like the saints, being thankful for your PTSD, because it is the suffering we experience in life (not the kind that you go out and deliberately seek!) that can truly bring us closer to the Truth, if that is what we are desiring. And that truth is unavailable in this ‘world’, because it’s all about the ego and gratification of such. The ‘exasperation’ you mention is the inability of our own strength to change another person to how we want them to be. This is normal human behaviour. As the old adage goes, you can’t change the other person, you can only change yourself. And this is what we are called to do - to have a change of heart. When you come to understand yourself as you mentioned in the last paragraph, then you will be able to see others in the same light and have much compassion for them.
I know this is long winded again, I wish I knew how to write much more succinctly and to the point as many others can here, but hope this helps in any kind of way.
Blessings,
Lilly:heart:
You are absolutely spot on in your ‘epiphany’ you speak of. This is one of the very important lessons I have learnt: ***a child reacts, ***an adult responds out of choice and this is the very free will that God gave to us. Now as to whether or not I use this consistently is another matter! This is the process or the journey I speak of, regardless of whether it is marriage, religious life or singular life, it’s our journey back home to be reconciled with the Father through Jesus. Knowing that I have choice is the very freedom I have in Christ. This is what St. Bonaventure (and St. Francis) gave to me in his writings: let love be your guiding force in all that you do. We know that ‘all things come together for those who love the Lord’ and so if we choose love (which is from God), then we can be be rest assured of this promise. This is an ongoing choice, we are imperfect in these bodies, but it is through the redemption of the cross that we can lay claim to the promises Jesus made to us.
DH has Complicated PTSD which is a result of both the sexual abuse I spoke of and the sense of abandonment you speak of, and yes, you are also right in what you say is the effect of abandonment (the message s/he is nothing). When you combine the two, believe me, this is why they call it Complicated PTSD. IMO I guess that it is the therapy that attempts to address the reasons why and for the person to be able to acknowledge their behaviours accordingly. It is a huge leap to be able understand how this does affect your life: so many in therapy actually deny that they really are unwell for a long time (according to DH’s therapist) because it means that you have to take responsibility for your own actions which is part of becoming an adult and not the child wanting the ‘bad’ things to go away. (By the way, SSA is same sex attraction). Yes, you are becoming like the saints, being thankful for your PTSD, because it is the suffering we experience in life (not the kind that you go out and deliberately seek!) that can truly bring us closer to the Truth, if that is what we are desiring. And that truth is unavailable in this ‘world’, because it’s all about the ego and gratification of such. The ‘exasperation’ you mention is the inability of our own strength to change another person to how we want them to be. This is normal human behaviour. As the old adage goes, you can’t change the other person, you can only change yourself. And this is what we are called to do - to have a change of heart. When you come to understand yourself as you mentioned in the last paragraph, then you will be able to see others in the same light and have much compassion for them.
I know this is long winded again, I wish I knew how to write much more succinctly and to the point as many others can here, but hope this helps in any kind of way.
Blessings,
Lilly:heart:
:whacky: :banghead: