Doctor told us to abstain from marital relations for possibly the entire pregnancy

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curiousandcatholic

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My doctor recently asked my husband and I not to have marital relations because my pregnancy is delicate. She warned that this directive could last for the entire pregnancy.

We actually tried to do it gently because it’s hard to abstain for too long in a marriage for obvious reasons, but then I started bleeding. What is the best moral approach in situations like this?
 
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curiousandcatholic said:
husband and I not to have marital relations because my pregnancy is delicate. She warned that this directive could last for the entire pregnancy.

We actually tried to do it gently because it’s hard to abstain for too long in a marriage for obvious reasons, but then I started bleeding. What is the best moral
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Yes you should abstain for the sake of your child. I understand it can be hard but its worth it. Use that time to do other things together like spend time talking and expressing your love in other ways. Its just temporary and you will be super busy with baby soon so enjoy the time together while you can.
 
The best thing you can do is listen to your doctor and abstain. Do not take chances.

Find some other way to express your love for each other during your pregnancy. It is not forever, nor are marital relations a necessity, it is a desire.
 
I’ll remember your dear family in my prayers.
:pray:t2:
Pregnancy is shorter than you think.
Congratulations 🙂
 
I was in this situation with my last pregnancy. In my case I had a low lying placenta. It moved upward by the 3rd trimester and the restriction was lifted. Yes, abstaining is best…dont’ risk it!
 
The doctor told you that you need to abstain for good reason. Listen to your doctor and don’t do anything to put your baby in harm’s way.
 
Clementine14 said:
The doctor told you that you need to abstain for good reason. Listen to your doctor and don’t do anything to put your baby in harm’s way.
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Apart from anything else, what would the implications be for you if the baby was damaged or worse? If only for your own sake and future life, don’t risk anything. Looking after a damaged baby is life-changing and hard, not to mention coping with feelings of guilt.
 
You go through different stages in your life. Your focus is on different things at different times.

Before there was a baby to prioritize, you got to think about yourself, and each other. You did what you wanted to do, when you felt like it, and had a minimum number of other things to take into account.

Now there’s a baby to prioritize— so you turn your focus inward, into cultivating that new life, and giving them the best opportunities to thrive.

After they’re born, you’ll continue prioritizing the baby. The baby will change your body, will entirely revamp your opinion about bodily fluids-- hello, lochia! lactation! --and will do all sorts of other things.

And it will be awesome.

But reprogramming yourself to abstain when you need to abstain, and indulge when you can indulge— that’s just plain ol’ Discipline 101, especially when the health of the baby is on the line due to a delicate pregnancy.
 
One more thing, your doctor or the nurse at the office will explain the WHY’s of abstaining to both you and your husband. Your statement:
curiousandcatholic said:
We actually tried to do it gently
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made me wonder of the physician had given both you and your husband specifics. In my experience, full pelvic rest means much more than the gentleness of movements. Sometimes it is about the hormones that are released/present in fluids involved in sexual arousal/climax. Ask the medical professional to explain why, ask questions, listen.
 
Is this a trick question? Obviously, you have to abstain to keep yourself and your baby safe. Are you asking if it’s okay if you engage in oral sex instead? Of course not! You need to find some other way to express you love for one another for a while. Unfortunately, being abstinent is not fun or easy, but it’s an opportunity to become closer in other ways.
 
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