Does being at church seem more a hassle to some?

[MontChevalier]

Bonjour,

I hope I can be pardoned, because I’m still relatively new, but when I went to church last sunday, the experience I went through throughtout the liturgy(I think it’s called?) was kinda aggravating. It almost made me feel out of place and like I shouldn’t have been there.

Granted, I wasn’t dressed well and my hair was messy as heck. I tried to sit at the back of the pews, but a nun said that I should move closer to hear the priest. I embarrassed myself, that’s my fault, but when the music started playing, I was thinking…“I thought this was a Catholic Church.” I even went to check just in case. And then the ladies started singing and I was,“Good God, Is that…gargling?”
I’m not sure the ladies singing were practicing…
The priest, at least, gave a few words, I appreciated that, But he was a foreigner and he was mixing words from English and Spanish and I just had no clue what he meant at times. I don’t mean disrespect, but maybe I went at a bad time? Anyone else going through this?

-MontChevalier

 

[Stylites]

Bonjour,

I hope I can be pardoned, because I’m still relatively new, but when I went to church last sunday, the experience I went through throughtout the liturgy(I think it’s called?) was kinda aggravating. It almost made me feel out of place and like I shouldn’t have been there.

I hope you choose to move forward and become Catholic, MontC.

If ladies in the choir are gargling when they sing songs of priase, at least they are using their God-given instruments to do so, so God wouln’t be hearing gargling but praise. As for the priest who at least gave a few words, albeit in a thick accent, I would suggest that you try your best to focus on what he is trying to convey (as that is all God requires of us is that we try our best), and try to avoid thoughts of frustration if you miss anything.

 

[Soldier_Of_God]

I personally never experienced such activity. I’m sure what you’ve experienced is the exception and not the rule.

 

[Boulder257]

I would suggest you visit a few other Catholic Churches and keep going. It sounds like you had a bad experience and those happen. I think we have all had bad days at Church, or bad experiences like this. Are you in RCIA?

 

[MontChevalier]

I would suggest you visit a few other Catholic Churches and keep going. It sounds like you had a bad experience and those happen. I think we have all had bad days at Church, or bad experiences like this. Are you in RCIA?

Salut,

Ah, that is a good idea and I should very much think of doing so.

And Oui–yes-- I have finally, after an unexpected --and very odd-- year of waiting to do so, I have finally enrolled myself. I am on my way to being Catholic. Take that Martin Luther and your inability to properly utilize God’s word.

-MontChevalier

 

[Boulder257]

Salut,

Ah, that is a good idea and I should very much think of doing so.

And Oui–yes-- I have finally, after an unexpected --and very odd-- year of waiting to do so, I have finally enrolled myself. I am on my way to being Catholic. Take that Martin Luther and your inability to properly utilize God’s word.

-MontChevalier

Ah wonderful! I am so happy for you!

I am sorry about your experience. Sounds like it was just an off day. They happen, but no worries!

 

[karow]

Bonjour,

I hope I can be pardoned, because I’m still relatively new, but when I went to church last sunday, the experience I went through throughtout the liturgy(I think it’s called?) was kinda aggravating. It almost made me feel out of place and like I shouldn’t have been there.

Granted, I wasn’t dressed well and my hair was messy as heck. I tried to sit at the back of the pews, but a nun said that I should move closer to hear the priest. I embarrassed myself, that’s my fault, but when the music started playing, I was thinking…“I thought this was a Catholic Church.” I even went to check just in case. And then the ladies started singing and I was,“Good God, Is that…gargling?”
I’m not sure the ladies singing were practicing…
The priest, at least, gave a few words, I appreciated that, But he was a foreigner and he was mixing words from English and Spanish and I just had no clue what he meant at times. I don’t mean disrespect, but maybe I went at a bad time? Anyone else going through this?

-MontChevalier

Over on the Liturgy and Sacraments forum there is a recent moratorium on complaining about Masses. And I don’t think I’m too far off the mark to say that describing the music as “gargling” and the “foreigner” priest as incomprehensible at times is complaining about a Mass.

I also notice that back in May you started a thread that was closed due to complaints about the clergy and lay participation at a Mass.

My best advice is to remain charitable, both when you’re at Mass and when you’re discussing the Mass online and off line, with Catholics and non-Catholics. Assume the choir and other singers are singing to the best of their abilities. Assume that the priest is doing his utmost to make himself as intelligible as he can. Assume everyone at the Mass is doing their utmost to avoid liturgical abuses.

Besides, there’s nothing to be gained by coming to an internet formum to vent about a group of singers. It’s not going to help them improve. Same with the priest; complaining about his language skills to an online community serves no purpose.

If the Mass you attended was that troubling to you, the best thing you can do is to attend Mass at a different time to avoid the singers/choir in hopes there will be a different celebrant. If that doesn’t work, try a different parish altogether.

God bless and good luck.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Trust me, there is beauty in church. You had an unfortunate experience but please don’t let that put you off.

 

[MontChevalier]

Over on the Liturgy and Sacraments forum there is a recent moratorium on complaining about Masses. And I don’t think I’m too far off the mark to say that describing the music as “gargling” and the “foreigner” priest as incomprehensible at times is complaining about a Mass.

Without feedback, there can never be improvement. Therefore, I believe my voice should be respected and encouraged, where I believe something seems amiss. I’m sure many others would agree.

I also notice that back in May you started a thread that was closed due to complaints about the clergy and lay participation at a Mass.

That incident was resolved many months ago with the moderators, and they agreed, that the whole situation was a complete and huge misunderstanding, which was taken out of context and battered like a pilgrim in the middle ages. I would appreciate it if you didn’t bring it up again.

My best advice is to remain charitable, both when you’re at Mass and when you’re discussing the Mass online and off line, with Catholics and non-Catholics. Assume the choir and other singers are singing to the best of their abilities. Assume that the priest is doing his utmost to make himself as intelligible as he can. Assume everyone at the Mass is doing their utmost to avoid liturgical abuses.

Besides, there’s nothing to be gained by coming to an internet forum to vent about a group of singers. It’s not going to help them improve. Same with the priest; complaining about his language skills to an online community serves no purpose.

If I remain quiet, what voice would I have in the new community I’m entering? Wouldn’t I be doing the community a service by making sure that a constant flow of communication was held, even if it was negative?

To brush it off as mere “complaining” is to say that I shouldn’t give feedback, I shouldn’t have an opinion and that I shouldn’t be involved in the community at all.

If the Mass you attended was that troubling to you, the best thing you can do is to attend Mass at a different time to avoid the singers/choir in hopes there will be a different celebrant. If that doesn’t work, try a different parish altogether.

I’ll be sure to keep the gargling at a minimum. If we must gargle praise for God, then gargle we must.

God bless and good luck.

And you too.

Bonsoir,
-MontChevalier

 

[karow]

Without feedback, there can never be improvement. Therefore, I believe my voice should be respected and encouraged, where I believe something seems amiss. I’m sure many others would agree.

If I remain quiet, what voice would I have in the new community I’m entering? Wouldn’t I be doing the community a service by making sure that a constant flow of communication was held, even if it was negative?/QUOTE]

Way back when a company I worked at had a poster in the conference room that differentiated feedback from complaining. One picture showed a hand with scissors, with the scissor points aimed at another person’s hand. This was complaining. The second picture showed a hand with scissors, with handles facing the other person’s hand. This was feedback.

The purpose of feedback is to help someone improve. The purpose of complaining is to express discontent.

When we come to an anonymous Internet forum to vent about the “quality” (for lack of a better word) of a particular Mass, we’re not helping the people involved in that Mass improve. It’s not feedback. It’s complaining.

If, however, we addressed our questions and concerns about a Mass to the priest who celebrated the liturgy, and were charitable and considerate throughout, that’s feedback.

Let’s look at it another way, and say you and I are friends. You invite me to your home for a meal with your spouse and children. The following week you discover that I’ve blogged about our dinner, and I’ve described your spouse as “incomprehensible,” the meal as “inedible,” and your kids as “gargling little monsters.” I ask - would you see that as feedback or as complaining? Methinks you’d consider my blog as complaining, insulting really, and wouldn’t be keen on inviting me to you home again.

My only other bit of advice is, if you’re truly serious about having a voice, to choose your words carefully. “Foreigner” priest and “gargling” singing are words that carry really negative connotations; they’re not words the invite discussion or charity.

God bless.

 

[MontChevalier]

MontChevalier;8109176:

Without feedback, there can never be improvement. Therefore, I believe my voice should be respected and encouraged, where I believe something seems amiss. I’m sure many others would agree.

If I remain quiet, what voice would I have in the new community I’m entering? Wouldn’t I be doing the community a service by making sure that a constant flow of communication was held, even if it was negative?/QUOTE]

Way back when a company I worked at had a poster in the conference room that differentiated feedback from complaining. One picture showed a hand with scissors, with the scissor points aimed at another person’s hand. This was complaining. The second picture showed a hand with scissors, with handles facing the other person’s hand. This was feedback.

The purpose of feedback is to help someone improve. The purpose of complaining is to express discontent.

When we come to an anonymous Internet forum to vent about the “quality” (for lack of a better word) of a particular Mass, we’re not helping the people involved in that Mass improve. It’s not feedback. It’s complaining.

If, however, we addressed our questions and concerns about a Mass to the priest who celebrated the liturgy, and were charitable and considerate throughout, that’s

feedback.

Let’s look at it another way, and say you and I are friends. You invite me to your home for a meal with your spouse and children. The following week you discover that I’ve blogged about our dinner, and I’ve described your spouse as “incomprehensible,” the meal as “inedible,” and your kids as “gargling little monsters.” I ask - would you see that as feedback or as complaining? Methinks you’d consider my blog as complaining, insulting really, and wouldn’t be keen on inviting me to you home again.

My only other bit of advice is, if you’re truly serious about having a voice, to choose your words carefully. “Foreigner” priest and “gargling” singing are words that carry really negative connotations; they’re not words the invite discussion or charity.

God bless.

I’ll be sure to keep my comments to myself around you then.

My God, it seems that entering into the Catholic Church with so many people who can’t take jokes, won’t listen and seem to misunderstand me at every turn, it’s going to be rough ride into it.

I’m going to have to start considering what God himself is really saying.

-MontChevalier

 

[J_Heath]

If you are looking for negative things, then you will find them.

If you are looking at the mass and the religion with an open mind and heart, then I am sure that the view will be more charitable, and you will see many positive things.

There is also a big difference between good natured jokes and making very critical observations.

karow is very wise in observing that you would do well ‘to choose your words carefully.’

If it truly seems that everyone is misunderstanding you, then maybe is is actually is you, and not them.

Accurate self-reflection is a difficult process, but is quite beneficial when done honestly.

 

[zab]

I may be annoyed with some of those around me who do not know how to act in church or with some of the ways things are done but those things are of less importance than worshiping Jesus Who is still fully present in the Catholic Church and worth any “hassle” or annoyance that I may have to endure. And while I am grateful to be a member of a wonderful parish, I also believe that it is good to worship Jesus in those places where He is neglected and forgotten.

 

[Padraig1972]

I may be annoyed with some of those around me who do not know how to act in church or with some of the ways things are done but those things are of less importance than worshiping Jesus Who is still fully present in the Catholic Church and worth any “hassle” or annoyance that I may have to endure. And while I am grateful to be a member of a wonderful parish, I also believe that it is good to worship Jesus in those places where He is neglected and forgotten.

I feel it much the same ways and sometimes i do wonder if it really is a good idea to for example let a six year old kid read the readings and such. But except from these small “odd moments” i love it in church.

This fall i will begin to work as a volunteer in the parish office and begin my training to serve as altar server at the traditional latin masses.

 

[Crumpy]

I am radicalized and maybe alienated enough that I would walk out on a Mass that seemed to be a mockery.

A six-year-old reading the scriptures would have to be a rarity. I don’t know any six yo kids to begin with, but I wouldn’t expect any of them to be reading scriptures.

Maybe what you’re describing is that the child’s voice was unintelligible, given the usually poor acoustics in most churches. Good reason to read the Sunday scriptures ahead of time or to follow along in a missalette or other liturgical book.

I would walk out if there didn’t seem to be the appropriate decorum to the Mass. I wouldn’t want to be an accomplice to it.I don’t look at the Mass as a sequence of straight lines for some jokester to play off of.

 

[JerrySeibert]

To answer simply, no. In my Parish we have a Priest from India. Two years ago his voice was heavily accented, much better now after time in the States. Even though accented at first, his Homilies have move me. When I Made the choice important point there to listen to his heart and not his voice. Then I understood. So at first it was difficult, then I asked God to help me understand. He now delivers some of the best Homilies I have ever heard. Even to the point that I see Mass attendance shift to when he is celebrating Mass.

A truly amazing Priest and a gift from God as all Priests are. Give the Priest a chance and our faith a chance. I did not understand him well at first, now I get excited when I see his vehicle when I go to daily Mass. Maybe I am lucky, but I am as well thankful that I have so awesome of a man to assist me in my spiritual journey.