What helped my wife and me was we began working on Practicing the Presence of God - described by Brother Lawrence in the 1600’s and in the online book at this site:
ccel.org/ccel/lawrence/practice.i.html - you could probably read through it in an hour or two. But also then do what he describes - keep Jesus, the Father, the Spirit in your attention. Whenever you are about to do something, anything, speak to God and tell him you are doing this thing for him: “Jesus, I am about to go for a walk, and I am going to do it for you, a gift to you”; “Father, I am about to do the laundry, and I am going to do it for you, a gift.” “Lord, I am going to Mass now, and it is for you”. Then do the thing you told him was a gift, and when done, tell him, “God, here is your gift, complete, for you to use as you see fit.” All day long, having God present in all you think and do, and talking to him in it all.
We also got this little booklet by Peter Kreeft - “Prayer for Beginners” which ties in the Brother Lawrence’s booklet giving reasoning and practice in doing it (no link to this Kreeft book, so you would have to invest in it, but we think it is worth it.)
But, basically it takes you away from fixing yourself by trying to re-do yourself, and returns you to paying attention to the most important thing in your life (God) and doing things for Him, all things. And you begin to be a single minded person, not divided by emotions and passions. You come to know Jesus because you talk with him all day long and do things out of love for him all day long, and you come to realize he does know and love you.
Go to the website above and read it and try it.
What this does is that it takes you away from your focus on your self-fixing of feelings and the past, and your attention and focus begin to center on the Person who is the real source and goal of your being, and then the other things fall into place in an appropriate amount of attention rather than devouring you.
You will come to know this God and his answers.
