Done something stupid

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I’ve done something really stupid 😦 . I mentioned before in a previous post that I recently came out of a long-term relationship that wasn’t very good. Anyway, it must be this time of year or something making me do crazy things but I ended up offering to sleep with him again. I honestly can’t say why. Thankfully he said no as he is with someone else apparently (I didn’t know if he was or not). I’m not sure that I would have gone through with it but I don’t know what possessed me to say that and I feel just horrible, like I’m so messed up sexually or I would not even have considered it, and I don’t know what to do to change that.

Also I imagine that, although his response was friendly, he has lost a lot of respect for me over my little ‘offer’ (do you think that’s likely to be the case?), which although the relationship is well and truly over, makes me feel just awful 😦 .

I’m so low today. I’m really messing my life up at the moment.
 
You goose! Dear girl, don’t offer yourself to anyone like that. You’re worth so much more than that. Apart from the fact that as a child of God some things are sacred and you’d be best living your Christian life if you wait till marriage…don’t ever sell yourself short that way!

You deserve love that isn’t bought by a sacrifice of your dignity and self-esteem. Dear girl you are precious, and deserve to be loved for who you are not what you can offer. I am so pleased that this man had sufficient respect not to mess your life by complying. You are I guess lonely and hurt, but I pray you will find a good loving man with whom you can share your love and life.

I want you to begin to realise how lovely you really are, child of God and sister of Jesus. God’s will be fulfilled in your life!!

Warmly, your sister Trishie
 
hugs
It’s good that you know it was wrong, and better than he turned you down, so don’t beat yourself up too much over it. I can’t believe the things that come out of my own mouth sometimes without thinking, and sometimes those things are ‘hang-overs’ from my less moral days. We’ll both do better tomorrow, yes? You have my prayers.
 
Thank you both for those messages… I’m having a bit of a cry now :o . It helps so much to hear such warm kind words, even though I feel like a terrible person right now 😦 . I really want to do better this… Any prayers would be much appreciated as I need some help getting past this. And I feel so lonely at the moment, thankfully my parents are coming to collect me from college in a couple of days, I really need a hug from my mum…
 
You’re not a terrible person, Love.
You’re human. How many of us can remember unwise things we’ve done or said, for instance when we’re awfully lonely and hurt!
You’ll get past this…and you hopefully will learn to be kinder to yourself.

I’ll be thinking of you and praying for you along with little_flower.
I found her message touching!

Feel less alone. We’d both hug you if we were there…and maybe have some :coffee: :coffee: :coffee: and 🍕 with you!
 
We’ve all done something stupid… and most of us have done stupid things after we’ve been trying hard to change. It’s so frustrating to see yourself doing the thing you hate so much, I know. The others are right- you are worth far more than that. It was wrong- but you know that already, that’s why you hate what you’ve done.

Stay close to the sacraments- receive frequent confession and Holy Eucharist. Go to Mass everyday. Make holy hours of adoration. Pray, pray, pray. There is nothing Christ can’t heal- you’ll be surprised.
 
blue_skies said:
I’ve done something really stupid 😦 . I mentioned before in a previous post that I recently came out of a long-term relationship that wasn’t very good. Anyway, it must be this time of year or something making me do crazy things but I ended up offering to sleep with him again. I honestly can’t say why. Thankfully he said no as he is with someone else apparently (I didn’t know if he was or not). I’m not sure that I would have gone through with it but I don’t know what possessed me to say that and I feel just horrible, like I’m so messed up sexually or I would not even have considered it, and I don’t know what to do to change that.

Also I imagine that, although his response was friendly, he has lost a lot of respect for me over my little ‘offer’ (do you think that’s likely to be the case?), which although the relationship is well and truly over, makes me feel just awful 😦 .

I’m so low today. I’m really messing my life up at the moment.
Click to expand...
Been there/done that. Except my ex accepted my little offer, went thru the motions with me and then kicked me out of the house with a blank stare. I felt awful & used & I crieddddd. That was excruciatingly hard time for me. I was so blinded by my need to be with him that I lost all my self-respect. It’s really embarassing to look back on, but you know what? That situation really kicked me in the butt and got me back on track. I started to see the guy for who he really was, instead of the man I had raised him up to be in my mind. It made me start rethinking what I was worth and who I wanted to give myself to and when. It was the first of many reflections that brought me to God.

Consider yourself extremely lucky that you didn’t go thru with your offer. Try to forget about your ex and focus on healing yourself.

hugs

–
 
Hugs to you! As others have said, don’t beat yourself up over this anymore.

I had a very warped opinion about what sex. I ended up going to therapy and was able to realize my self-worth. Maybe if you feel like you’re “messed up” sexually a lot (not just a thought you have when you’re down on yourself, but a persistent thought), it might be worth going to a good therapist. You’re welcome to send me a PM if it would help.
 
Dear blue_skies

As others have said we’ve all done stupid things and thought afterwards “how could I done that?” It’s called being human.

Sometimes it helps to work out why we did it - not with the intention of beating ourselves up but so there is less likehood of it happening again.

Another thing to do is to think what we would say to someone who had done the same thing. Would were be less critical of them or more critical? - many of us would be less critical. What advice would you give them?

Also keep in mind the times you have resisted doing something stupid, it can make you feel more hopeful about doing so in the future.

Please take care of yourself.

Salonika
 
blue_skies said:
I’ve done something really stupid 😦 . …] I honestly can’t say why. …] I don’t know what possessed me to say that and I feel just horrible…]makes me feel just awful 😦 .
…]I’m really messing my life up at the moment.
Click to expand...
As any psiychologyst can tell you, the mind is nothing like predictable or expected to work accordingly to what we expect to be a rational and/or “wise” behaviour. True stupid, in my opinion, are those who couldn’t even suspect they are.
The world is full of more that decent men who’d love to see you smile, just wipe off any grumpy look from your face (and possibly, see a qualified psychologyst if the going gets though)

Best wishes!
 
We are women.
We can’t “offer” to have sex with men…men should be batteling dragons and leaping through rings of fire for us!

Just wait…God will provide for you a man that is worth it!
 
It would help also, if you do not already, to begin to develop a devotion to the Blessed Mother. What a model of true dignity and purity! Her motherly kindness and unaccusing gentleness is truly a refuge when all you can feel is disappointed in oneself.

peace!
 
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