Don't complain & remain cheerful, or ask for support?

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When something happens that upsets you or makes you sad, what should you do? Many of the spiritual writings say that you should accept your “crosses” willingly, remaining cheerful and thankful to God for everything. However, modern psychology says that you should talk about things to help you recover. Thoughts?

Thank you & Peace.
 
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nobody:
When something happens that upsets you or makes you sad, what should you do? Many of the spiritual writings say that you should accept your “crosses” willingly, remaining cheerful and thankful to God for everything. However, modern psychology says that you should talk about things to help you recover. Thoughts?

Thank you & Peace.
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What a great question!

I am a sober alcoholic, and so probably have a slightly different approach to the answer.

While I continue to deepen my prayer life and dependence upon The Holy Trinity, I know that if I do not get things out of my head I run the risk of going back to alcohol to solve any feelings I may have of being different, being afraid etc.

So, I accept what God puts before me but if I get any ‘brilliant ideas’ about how to handle my life’s challenges, I run them past someone I trust - my priest, my sponsor or my mom.
 
I’m not understanding your post very well, except that you seem to be leaning towards discussion of what ails you. If that is what you meant, maybe these scriptures from Sirach Ch. 19 will help you.
  • 12 Admonish your friend–he may not have done it; and if he did, that he may not do it again.
  • 13 Admonish your neighbor–he may not have said it; and if he did, that he may not say it again.
  • 14 Admonish your friend–often it may be slander; every story you must not believe.
  • 15 Then, too, a man can slip and not mean it; who has not sinned with his tongue?
  • 16 Admonish your neighbor before you break with him; thus will you fulfill the law of the Most High.
When there is little likelihood that one can talk about it without anger, it is best to keep silent until you are able to bring up the subject more peacefully. Timing is everything. The best way is to rely on the Holy Spirit to guide you as to *whether *or when you should discuss it, or simply let it go and bear it.

Carole
 
And keep uin mind, accepting our crosses doesn’t mean we can’t try and rid ourselves of them if we have the means. Offering our sufferings up to God is one thing. Not stopping them when we have the ability to or (or at least minimize them) is another.

For instance, people take medication all the time to help with pain. They can still offer it up to God, but he doesn’t necessarily expect us to just enjoy it because it is a cross. That becomes a personal decision for the indivdual.
 
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nobody:
Many of the spiritual writings say that you should accept your “crosses” willingly, remaining cheerful and thankful to God for everything. However, modern psychology says that you should talk about things to help you recover.
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Why not do both?

There certainly is evidence that people find it helpful to talk about things.
 
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Joysong:
I’m not understanding your post very well, except that you seem to be leaning towards discussion of what ails you. …

Carole
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Actually, I wasn’t. I don’t want to discuss specifics on the internet. I have family & friends I could talk to. I was just looking for spiritual thoughts on whether to discuss or not discuss. The rest of your post was helpful, thankyou.
 
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LSK:
What a great question!

I am a sober alcoholic, and so probably have a slightly different approach to the answer.

While I continue to deepen my prayer life and dependence upon The Holy Trinity, I know that if I do not get things out of my head I run the risk of going back to alcohol to solve any feelings I may have of being different, being afraid etc.

So, I accept what God puts before me but if I get any ‘brilliant ideas’ about how to handle my life’s challenges, I run them past someone I trust - my priest, my sponsor or my mom.
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Thank you for your reply. That is helpful.
 
Great post…I suffer from migraines and although I do take meds for the pain, I often get side effects from the meds. I always offer my pain up to the Lord and ask him to help carry my cross of pain. It’s just another great way to connect to the Lord and become closer to him in our suffering. Our crosses can be our suffering or sins, but as the Bible says…we must pick up our crosses daily not just once.
Most of the time when I pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy I pray for all those who suffer:gopray2: b/c I know we all do at some time of our lives in one way or another.
 
Hmm, it’s been a while for me, but I don’t recall ever being told to accept my crosses. I remember being told to take up my crosses.

To me, that means to deal with the challenges, difficulties and burdens in my life. Being silent in the face of challenges which could otherwise be dealt with strikes me as avoiding them rather than dealing with them.

The Psalms are certainly full of laments of sorrow and difficulty. Even Jesus in the Garden asked if it was possible to avoid the cross, but still submitted because it was required of him.

Taking up your cross doesn’t mean ignoring abuse and suffering in silence. It means submitting willingly to what God asks of us. He never said we couldn’t talk about it, or even cry out for relief.

Jesus told his followers to make peace with one another before making offerings. That can’t be done if we don’t talk about the wedges between us.
 
Pray about the situation, that it will work out for the best in the end- and that you can accept it. There is nothing wrong with asking for support- you just don’t want to do it so much that you don’t ever deal with things on your own.
 
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nobody:
When something happens that upsets you or makes you sad, what should you do? Many of the spiritual writings say that you should accept your “crosses” willingly, remaining cheerful and thankful to God for everything. However, modern psychology says that you should talk about things to help you recover. Thoughts?
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I imagine Jesus carrying the cross. I don’t think he was very cheerful, but he was full of joy and sorrow at the same time. Joy for knowing he could succeed in his great deed, and sorrow for the way it had to be done, and for those doing it to him. It’s not easy to bear such pain, and you don’t have to pretend it is. You don’t need to pretend to be happy. But Jesus didn’t refuse to carry the cross either. He knew it was what he had to do.

And I believe there are many people that can help. You can’t force anyone to help, but it’s certainly not wrong to accept it. For example, talking to a priest would certainly be good. Even Jesus was helped carrying the cross.
 
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