Door holding and thank yous

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Okay, so in my office building, like in most, there are two sets of doors to get out. So a problem arises when you try to be polite or follow social norms. I’m referring to the moments someone is walking in front of you and holds the first door open for you and then holds the second door open too.
Am I supposed to say “thank you” twice? Should I say it just once after I walk through the second door? Or should I say it after I walk through the first door?

If I say it after the first door but not after the second door am I being impolite?
What if I wait to say thank you until I walk through the second door? What if they are so upset that I didn’t say thank you for the first door that they don’t hear me say thank you for the second door?

I really don’t think I should be saying thank you after both doors. That just sounds weird. Plus I always end up saying the second “thank you” much more softly so they probably don’t even hear me at all?

What about when you’re the door holder and not the thank you sayer? Do you hold the first door and then let them hold the second door for you? If you do that is “thank you” required at all? What if he says thank you after you hold the door open but you don’t say thank you when he holds the door for you???

Oh my! What would Larry David do?
 
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I say thanks the first time, and have a great day the second time. Smiling of course.
 
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Really, the thing that chaps me is when you do the same for someone and they just glare back. Also in traffic, or a parking lot. Someone is looking RIGHT AT ME, and so I don’t shirk from eye-contact and smile, and they give me this
I DON’T KNOW YOU… WHAT ARE YOU INSINUATING??? kind of glare. 😳
Drives me bonkers.
 
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pianistclare said:
I say thanks the first time, and have a great day the second time. Smiling of course.
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See that’s pretty good, but what if it’s not technically a door hold but of of those “keep the for from hitting you in the face” hold while they continue to walk. You can say thank you for the first door but I’m not sure a “have a nice day” would be appropriate for the second door…
 
anon50218184 said:
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pianistclare:
I say thanks the first time, and have a great day the second time. Smiling of course.
Click to expand...
See that’s pretty good, but what if it’s not technically a door hold but of of those “keep the for from hitting you in the face” hold while they continue to walk. You can say thank you for the first door but I’m not sure a “have a nice day” would be appropriate for the second door…
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I think you’re over-thinking it. Say thanks twice, say have a nice day. It doesn’t take that much effort unless you have a speech impediment.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
I think you’re over-thinking it. Say thanks twice, say have a nice day. It doesn’t take that much effort unless you have a speech impediment.
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But the problem is that if you say it twice sometimes there’s toi much time between the tank yous.

It can get complicated real easily
 
I think some of this depends on flair. If the man bows and extends his hand with a rolling flourish as he holds the door, I’m going to sweep through with a “Thank you very much, good sir!” But I’d probably grin and laugh and ruin the whole thing.

Other people seem minimalistic in what they seek from you socially. A grunted thanks seems appropriate. Nothing that demands or forces more social response from them (which would make them uncomfortable).
 
I myself say “thank you” for the first door and nod and smile at the second. I agree as long as your intent is to be polite it’s all good.
 
🙂 Life really is quite simple. We seem to insist on making it complicated.
 
I still say thank you for the first & second. Guess, it’s just the way I was raised. I still say please & you’re welcome. Also, when someone sneezes, I still say “God please you”. Old habits are hard to break, plus it’s really just curtesy.
 
I will say thank you the first time, and then with a nod or a wink or a simple smile, I will say, “and again” the second time. Works for me, then again, different strokes for different folks.
 
Yeah, nod or smile or say something shorter. Thanking someone is not a verbal formula, it’s an interaction. 🙂
 
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