Doubts that I can't get over!

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I used to have severe scrupulosity. I am not sure if I am still scrupulous. If anyone can share their opinion on my doubts, I will be very grateful.
  1. I used to write down my sins on a sheet of paper but later, my confessor made me stop that habit. Since then, it feels like I’m making a shoddy, insincere attempt to remember my sins. If I write my sins down, but decide to not use it later during confession, am I sinning? I know it sounds silly, but I feel like I’m deliberately trying to not remember some sins, hoping that I needn’t mention them in confession. A million thoughts pound my head, and I’m not able to deal with thiis particular one.
  2. So the last time I went to confession, I didn’t mention a vow that I want to be dispensed from. I only remembered it when I was about to say the act of contrition. When I told the priest that I have more sins to confess, he asked me to ‘Tell them to God’. Does that mean I’m dispensed from my vow?
I feel terribly anxious when I go to confession and mumble a lot of things, only to feel later like I have lied. The priest looks at me like I escaped an asylum, and being a young woman, I feel even more ashamed. I don’t know what to do when I have these doubts.
 
cookie-san said:
I used to write down my sins on a sheet of paper but later, my confessor made me stop that habit.
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Eh? Strange, i always use a piece of paper. Sometimes an entire notepad 😂.

What a strange request, that would annoy me too.
 
Hehe, he tried to make me come out of my habit of seeing only sins. It worked :3 But I feel embarassed to use it, especially on special confession days, when there’s a lot of people.
 
cookie-san said:
Hehe, he tried to make me come out of my habit of seeing only sins
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No i’m not following the logic at all. It’s confession, i’m there to ask mercy upon my sins. I’m not there to make excuses for them (unless directly asked) or say “well look at all the good I’ve done”. I might try those things at the final judgement but until then there’s always the possibility to improve.
 
Imagine you have an urge to go to confession every day. That you feel miserable that you keep sinning. And most of those things are not even sins. Like having peanuts before lunch. But your brain just doesn’t work; you’ve lost all sense of right and wrong. I guess it applies then.
 
All I can say, “Wow.” We all should be doing that - remember all our sins and if we are the type that cannot remember easily, then do something that makes us do. Writing our sins when we realize that we sin, is one of them.

I used to do that when I was a kid. I took sinning very seriously, to my catechism teacher’s credit notwithstanding.

It was only later I stopped writing them as obviously the practice incurred lots of inconvenience. And God forbid, what about if someone got hold of the book?

Going for Confession should give you the nervousness. It is normal. After all you are opening the deepest and the most intimate part of your life to another person (the priest), regardless of the teaching about the Sacrament (that the priest acts in the person of Christ).

You are serious about Confession and remorse of your sins. God would honor that.

One of the thing that cure my nervousness in Confession was when I heard a priest said to me during an Advent penitential service, “be glad, rejoice, the Lord is come, He forgive you.”

I had never associated Confession with being glad. Thinking about it, it actually is. There is no sins that God cannot forgive (except that sin when we think that God does not forgive).

Thus when we come for Confession, we are in joy and glad about the forgiving God; not glad that we sinned but glad that God calls us for Confession because He wants very much to forgive us, to cleanse us of our sins.

God bless.
 
  1. You are obliged to confess mortal sins that you are certain of committing. If you’re not sure whether you committed a sin, or whether it was mortal or venial, you’re not obligated. If you’re not sure if you’re not sure, then you’re not obligated. If any of these is the case, you needn’t worry about remembering them.
  2. I’d ask for a dispensation next time you see him.
 
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You need to take This back to your confessor. Yes this is scrupulosity. If you’re confessor told you not to write down your sins, this is part of his help for your scrupulosity. Follow his instructions. Failing to ask to be dispensed from a vow is not a sin. Ask him at your next opportunity.

Yes you have scrupulosity. Continue to seek regular guidance from your confessor on this issue.
 
The priest is helping this person with their scrupulosity. Do not cast doubt on with the priest has asked him to do. You are not for Milyer with his entire situation. It is best for a person with scrupulosity to always talk to their confessor or spiritual director.
 
He asked for opinions so that’s what i gave. When he revealed more context i said it made sense. Since that priests request is different to every other priest I’ve ever known then my doubt was reasonable given the question asked and context given.
 
cookie-san said:
I used to write down my sins on a sheet of paper but later, my confessor made me stop that habit. Since then, it feels like I’m making a shoddy, insincere attempt to remember my sins. If I write my sins down, but decide to not use it later during confession, am I sinning?
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Your confessor told you to stop writing your sins down. He gave you that advice for a reason.
You feel uncomfortable probably because of your scrupulosity and my guess is that is also why the priest told you to stop writing sins down.
Do as the priest says and stop. If you feel uncomfortable, offer your discomfort up to Jesus in reparation for mankind’s sins. And feel free to talk to your priest about it again next time.
So the last time I went to confession, I didn’t mention a vow that I want to be dispensed from. I only remembered it when I was about to say the act of contrition. When I told the priest that I have more sins to confess, he asked me to ‘Tell them to God’. Does that mean I’m dispensed from my vow?
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I would say yes. If you are still concerned just mention it next time you go to confession.
 
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The devil is having a field day with you.

Listen to the words of both the Apostle and the Savior:

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God

Drink in these words of the Holy Ghost, let them resonate down into your mind and your heart.
 
I think the problem was that @cookie-san was writing down every little sin right after they were commited, is that right cookie?

It’s normal for people to write down their sins when they make an examination of conscience prior to Confession.

It’s abnormal and hyper-scrupulous to write down every little sin you commit immediately after doing it.
 
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Well know this that if you forget a sin and remember it after absolution God has forgiven you because we have and all loving God. Just next time you go to confession tell the priest your sin that you forgot.

If you have more anxiety talk to your priest.
 
If your confessor has told you not to write sins down in order to help with your scrupulousity then you need to follow that instruction. Getting over your scrupulousity means you have to trust (your confessor and God’s mercy) and learn to live with mental discomfort about sins.

You can’t deliberately not remember sins. You either remember them or don’t. Any deliberate act to try to forget them would mean you don’t since the sin would have to be in your mind.
 
Hi! Thanks a ton! The reason I wasn’t sure if I were still scrupulous was because these thoughts don’t bother me as much as they used to. The devil Was having a field day with me, but not anymore. I just needed some clarity with my own thoughts.
and I didn’t note down my Sins as soon as I committed them.
 
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scruples. Deadly. Go back to your confessor and follow his advice to the letter.
I’ll pray for you.
 
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