Doubts :(

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A couple of days ago, I learned that my godmother moved on missionary mission to another state, and that same day I realized that a Catholic girl that I really liked is unlikely to approach me (or vice versa) - all of these insights came after a Sunday meeting after Mass.

During the two days I was plagued by doubts. For a long time I thought that all that Jesus has given me - so it’s understanding of the world, in such circumstances, when you realize that Christianity is the understanding of the world a person begins to lose faith in Jesus, the original, and remember that we are strangers in this world (especially in the Ukraine, especially in Sevastopol) and I realized that all of these concerns is a challenge for me from God.

Maybe the problem is that I know that God is exist, that i know that Catholicism is the RIGHT way from Jesus via now and I do not believe in it, i just KNOW that, but faith in God - is the realization that he is? maybe I understood it, but now forgotten, much of the wonders God has given us and the rules of life are forgotten and I just do not understand how to remove it baseless doubts about what I do, my selfishness asks new truth, which I know does not exist, but God :o

The right to be in these situations to give everything to God to Do? But all these doubts will be crushed by a Jesus in my heart :o

But I am afraid to run these doubts into something else, because very sick suddenly aware of the sinful idea that God does not exist and all I do is meaningless, but I KNOW that this is a sinful thought which is to jump, but how?
 
I pray this prayer frequently:

O my God, I firmly believe that you are one God in three divine persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I believe that your divine Son became man and died for our sins, and that he will come to judge the living and the dead. I believe these and all the truths which the holy catholic Church teaches, because in revealing them you can neither deceive nor be deceived.

I intend, with the help of Thy grace, to live and die in this faith.

Sometimes when we don’t get what we want, our faith in God is shaken. When this happens to me, I think of an explanation I heard once for painful experiences: a mother takes her child in for vaccinations (inoculations). The child experiences a lot of pain and feels like the mother must not like him because she is allowing this pain, but of course the mother loves the child and is doing it for the child’s good.

I am sorry for your disappointment, and hope that through prayer your faith will be restored stronger than ever.
 
If I am reading you right…I think that what you are experiencing is quite common.

Even for people with very strong faith such doubts and questions can come.

You are right in that “faith” is more than just belief and more than just an intellectual “knowing”. However…there are times when these things are all that we have to hold on to.

At such times God can feel far from us. They are periods of aridity or dryness. If they are deep and troubling they are sometimes called “dark nights”.
Yet they are also opportunities presented to us by God. They are invitations to us to more fully recognize how much we rely on Him for everything. To renew and intensify our love for Him and for our fellow man.

At times like this there are things we can do that can help. Try changing your prayer times or routine.
Sometimes we can"try too hard" and we need to back off a bit and maybe change round our formal prayer time and instead concentrate on living out our faith more fully.
Sometimes reading the lives of the saints or investigating a new devotion can help the Spirit to refresh us through some new aspect of faith.
Sometimes we need a period of “quiet time”…a retreat…or simply getting away someplace quiet where we can be surrounded by God’s glorious nature…where we can just sit and talk with him…

Sorry - I’m rambling a bit.

The bottom line is that such doubts will come and go as you journey into holiness. Just stay focused on the goal and continue to ask God to help and guide you. Even in silence, God is encouraging us.

Peace
James
 
Take a look around you. Pick up a straw, examine it with open eyes and mind. That is the most simple thing in the world, a straw, we see them all around us, yet they are a true miracle. What give them the color? The shape? The scent? How do they grow, and why? What you will see is God. We can’t make a simple straw, God can. And if He can make a straw, He can make much more, and that is all we need to know, and you will see your doubt wear off.
 
Hold fast to Jesus of Nazareth the Christ and Risen Lord! He loves you! He is the Way the Truth and the Life! Even in difficulties and even in darkness – he is the Good Shepherd.

There are doubts where we sin and there are also “doubts” which come against our will and where we do not sin but grow in virtue…

Even when we sin-- he can forgive us – if we fall into a mortal sin of any kind-- he can give us again life in confession. Even in all sorts of difficulties he loves us and helps us on our pilgrimage here. Let us give our YES repeatedly to him in Faith and Hope and Love. For he loves us.
“Doubts” can occur involunarily for various reasons. Not only temptation but also as a part of ones purification (permitted for that reason) at various points in one spiritual life.

And as the Catechism (257) notes :"Ten thousand difficulties do not make one doubt."32

Also remember that there is a difference between “voluntary doubt” and “involuntary doubt” --This is what the Catechism says of that latter:

“Involuntary doubt refers to hesitation in believing, difficulty in overcoming objections connected with the faith, or also anxiety aroused by its obscurity.”

Temptations against Faith can thus come …the best way to fight against such is more by flight then by fight. (such is the age old advice --same with the temptations against the virtue of chastity).

In fact most “temptations of thought” are are better to “ignore”…

And the great Catholic Philosopher Josef Pieper noted sometimes one has to even to simply stand fast as a kind of martyr in silence holding fast to ones Faith…in the midst of temptations against faith…even in the the midst of ones own involuntary feelings or thoughts --that assail one like arrows…(not consenting).

or as St. Therese did… simply say or write “Credo” (I believe).

Or silently make the sign of the cross…(as ones profession).

Hold fast to Jesus of Nazareth

In him is true life!
 
 
In the name of the Father
And in the Son
And in the Holy Spirit.
Amen.

Hail Mary…
 
Pray to Mary with deep love, devotion, and confidence. And do not neglect to pray your Rosary daily. Mother Mary will help you with your doubts if you take them to her and trust in her powerful mediation with God. God bless you.
 
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