Drawn to Marriage and Religious Life

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ConfirmedAgnes

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Hello CAF!

I would like to ask for prayers for my vocation 🙂 I am in my final year of college, and I feel a draw in my heart to different aspects of both marriage and religious life.

I am currently in a committed relationship with a man who is also Catholic and pushes me to continually turn towards God in my faith, so I definitely have a very possible path to marriage before me! But this is contrasted as well in my heart with a draw to religious life. I think the draw to religious life comes from the following:
-A desire to give my life completely to God
-The fact that my favorite time is spent in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament praising, adoring, and studying the ways of God, and I fear that in marriage I would lose this capability.

I just desire to serve God is whatever way He desires for me! But I feel like I’m going to have to make a choice in regards to my vocation fairly soon, so I’m getting a bit anxious abou it.

Prayers and advice are definitely welcome!
I’m praying for you guys too!!
 
Sort of 😅 I’ve spoken to Sisters from a few different communities before, but not about joining because I didn’t feel a call to their particular communities. I haven’t talked to a vocations director, though. I’m kind of stuck because I don’t really have a way to get to different religious communities at my current state in life and there’s not many around where I live. I’m also torn on what type of discernment is appropriate while still being in a committed relationship, you know?
 
I suppose it never hurts to try again. I have been praying for one all year. I tried to ask a priest last semester, but was told all Spiritual Direction was full. Then over the summer I tried to get Spiritual Direction in my home diocese, but it was VERY bad direction where I was advised to do something literally against Church teaching, so that didn’t work out either. I do get spiritual direction from a Sister every once and a while when she comes by our college, it just isn’t very consistent because the Sisters are only around every so often.
 
Have you considered being a vowed third order who is married and professes Marital chastity as well as poverty and obedience?
 
That has been something that has been on my mind as well in fact
 
It may be where you are called. And is a great vocation in itself.
 
Hello, ConfirmedAgnes.

Let me start by saying, it is entirely possible that you have been called to consecrated life, and that this is a wonderful calling.
But, keep in mind that it is equally possible for a married couple to have a deep, committed, and faithful relationship with God! In my humble opinion, prayer is one of the best ways for a couple to spend time together, whether that is in the home, or at Adoration, or at a bible study or similar organization.

Some things to consider:

Have you talked to your boyfriend about marriage, and what it would mean for the both of you? That is a decision that you have to make together, after all. Have you talked to him about your worries? Have you talked about life together after the wedding, and what it might look like? Communication is an important part of any relationship. He can’t read your mind, after all.

Do you feel called to have and raise children?

What is it about marriage that makes you think you would lose the ability to spend time in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament?

Have you explored opportunities for laypeople at your church? Have you talked to your local chapter of the Daughters of Isabella? Have you volunteered to take part in the mass, as a musician, a lector, a Eucharistic minister, an usher or some other part? Have you joined any of your local prayer groups?

What are you anxious about? What, specifically, makes you feel worried. Is it anxiety about being married? Is it anxiety about religious orders? Is it anxiety about time? If it is time, take a moment and breathe. You have as much of it as you need. If your boyfriend really loves you, he’ll give you the time and support that you need, and there is no age limit for joining religious orders.

Love and Prayers
 
Third Orders are the Laity attached and associated with the religious orders. These include Franciscans, Dominicans, Carmelites etc. There are also newer type Communities that consist of several branches with one branch being professed religious living in communal homes, these are monks and sisters, and then branches of laity that are consecrated in that community, and eventually might choose to make public vows of poverty chastity and obedience, according to their life state.
 
My relationship interferes with my relationship to God. She’s lucky she has a catholic bf at least.
 
ConfirmedAgnes said:
I think the draw to religious life comes from the following:
-A desire to give my life completely to God
-The fact that my favorite time is spent in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament praising, adoring, and studying the ways of God, and I fear that in marriage I would lose this capability
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One of the big draws to Catholicism, for me, is that truth usually isn’t an either/or reality, but both.

I’m currently married & am about to be received into the third order of the Brothers of Our Lady of Mt Carmel. I’ll get to share in the spirituality of Carmel while experiencing God in my marriage & family.
 
There is also Lay Movements. i am part of one and there are several lifelong matrimonies that gather and contribute weekly to it. Of course, it includes prayer and study, among other things.
 
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