Dry faith, don't feel loved by God, don't feel anything

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Wow! You’re in the exact place I am right now. I am suffering from depression and anxiety…meds haven’t kicked in yet. I pray the rosary and the chaplet of the divine mercy everyday. I am also reading the diary of St. Faustina. I am not ‘hearing’ or ‘feeling’ God’s voice and I often get discouraged by that. I recently realized that satan is the one putting doubts into my head…it’s pretty obvious. Whenever I find myself in a dark place, I pray a short prayer and I feel better. I also reflect on when Jesus told to his followers that in order to received salvation you had to eat of His flesh and drink His blood. Most people left. When He asked Peter if they were going to leave he replied “To whom shall we go? You have the word of eternal life” Will abandoning your faith somehow help make life ‘easier’? Christ told us to take up our cross and follow Him. God NEVER gives us more than we can handle. He also rewards us for our faith in times of trial. The magnitude of our suffering is a measure of our worthiness to serve Him. Life is not supposed to be easy, if it is, you should beware. I KNOW my prayers for healing will be answered, not on my calendar but on God’s. Perhaps I’m paying the price for sins of my past (which were many, and serious). Maybe my purgatory is now.
 
But what if I am in his EXACT shoes and I am the homeless person. Just because I’m homeless doesn’t mean my mind and spirit aren’t reasoning the same way. Even while homeless one can still find things they’re thankful for such as their health but I think it’s not accurate to assume we don’t fall to our knees and thank God for our blessings while at the same time be in turmoil of faith at others less fortunate (such as the example I mentioned earlier) knowing that they too, have sought and prayed, asked and knocked for decades and yet they fall into despair, commit suicide. It was a very scary thought I had the other day, we know when we’ve done all we could for decades with our faith according to our limitations, and without a divine consolation that many saints had (which could get us through life here for several lifetimes) how is an average person to receive more faith when it’s a gift and decades of anguish and prayer and homelessness and mental disease and more prayer remain the same?
 
It is a mistake to think that God doesn’t speak to us. He often does so through other people. We are God’s hands and voice on earth. Read the post on Screwtape Letters, spot on!
 
ColorMomma said:
Honestly? Get off your computer and go volunteer with those who are less fortunate. Go work in the food bank or a homeless shelter. Then go home, get on your knees, and thank God for your blessings.
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Yes. It’s hard to give up our own demands for consolation, and instead give it to others. To the OP, we are not glossing over this point, it is a struggle. I deal with it daily.
Life began to make sense to me when I began visiting nursing homes for the parish.
The helpless and dying healed me. Try it. I found Christ there for sure.

and the other thing is, we need other people to confide in in our spiritual walk. It’s not optional. a good confessor is a start.
And if you have just one good friend who will listen to you and talk about these things you are blessed.
I found them at scripture studies.
The devil loves isolation.
 
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Beautiful! Thank you Agatha. I agree taking a break from faith is not a good idea , I like the push through with grits (something like that). Just this morning I said Lord help my faith, but the helplessness inside me can’t be adequately expressed, just then I saw myself holding on to God for dear life on the thinnest of threads. I feel He sees that if I fall it’s not because I let go that’s for sure.
 
I’m so sorry that some responded to your heartfelt post with insensitivity.

Sometime ago I told my pastor that I was having a lot of doubts and thinking of leaving the church and he said, “who benefits from doing that?”

Gave me something to think about.

I have a book about discouragement. It’s a very dangerous and insidious temptation. I’ve been feeling some of what you’ve been describing, so I may need to go and re-read it.

Reminds me of the saying “if you feel like God is far away, who moved?”

I needed this reminder. Thank you.
 
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