Dumb confession question

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Bootoo

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Sorry to ask such a stupid question, but here goes. Last week I got up the courage to go to confession for the first time in something like 25 years at an Advent Penance Service at my church. Now that I have finally gotten over that big hurdle, I know that I need to start going regularly so that I don’t get too scared and start avoiding it again. However, it has been so long since I’ve been in a confessional itself that I’ve forgotten how the logistics work. I seem to remember that there is one light that indicates that a priest is in the confessional, and another light that indicates that a penitant is in there… or something like that? I would hate to make an idiot out of myself and walk in on another penitant, or be waiting in a confessional with no priest there:o . I’d appreciate any help anyone can give me.
 
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Bootoo:
Sorry to ask such a stupid question, but here goes. Last week I got up the courage to go to confession for the first time in something like 25 years at an Advent Penance Service at my church. Now that I have finally gotten over that big hurdle, I know that I need to start going regularly so that I don’t get too scared and start avoiding it again. However, it has been so long since I’ve been in a confessional itself that I’ve forgotten how the logistics work. I seem to remember that there is one light that indicates that a priest is in the confessional, and another light that indicates that a penitant is in there… or something like that? I would hate to make an idiot out of myself and walk in on another penitant, or be waiting in a confessional with no priest there:o . I’d appreciate any help anyone can give me.
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Traditional confessionals have three doors. The middle one is the priest, it may or may not have a light but if it does, it indicates he’s in there. The two doors on either side are the confessionals. The priest will alternate between the two. When one confessional is vacated, you can go in to thatconfessional and kneel, waitning for the priest to open the screen to begin your confession.

Some parishes have gone to strictly a face to face format (small room, two chairs face to face) as mine did for awhile. Some have gone to a hybrid of the two where you have the option of face to face or behind a screen. I’m glad our parish finally returned to the standard confessional!
 
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Bootoo:
Sorry to ask such a stupid question, but here goes. Last week I got up the courage to go to confession for the first time in something like 25 years at an Advent Penance Service at my church. Now that I have finally gotten over that big hurdle, I know that I need to start going regularly so that I don’t get too scared and start avoiding it again. However, it has been so long since I’ve been in a confessional itself that I’ve forgotten how the logistics work. I seem to remember that there is one light that indicates that a priest is in the confessional, and another light that indicates that a penitant is in there… or something like that? I would hate to make an idiot out of myself and walk in on another penitant, or be waiting in a confessional with no priest there:o . I’d appreciate any help anyone can give me.
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Congrats on returning to the confessional. As the saying goes, “Be not afraid!”

I’m just curious about the Advent Penance service. Was it a penance service that followed with individual confession? I know in one of my former parishes, these confessions were open air, but still private with the priest due to the screen. But, they weren’t held in a confessional because the lines were so long. Some years ago, the Vatican clamped down on penance services that did not provide for individual confessions and wanted it clear that anyone with mortal sin on their soul must use individual confession for absolution. Our penance services continued, but people stopping in for public absolution came to an abrupt end and that’s when more priests were brought in to hear individual confessions.

Most confessionals have lights on them. There is typically a light indicating the priest is in (can’t recall color). Then, when the penitent kneels or sits in the chair, it triggers the penitent’s light to turn red, from the green that it was.

As indicated above, some of the more traditional churches still have the old boxes where people could enter on either side. The priest would then slide a window and close off one side and open the other. However, in my traditional parish, these were modified so that on one side you may knee, but on the other, you may sit. It is no longer used the way it use to be with two people on either side.

There are some really great guides online too. The first two are examinations of conscience using the 10 Commandments.

theworkofgod.org/Library/examine.htm

catholicdoors.com/prayers/consc.htm

This Examination of Conscience, written by Fr. John A. Hardon is unusual in that it uses the Theological Virtues of Faith, Hope, and Charity, rather than the 10 commandments. I am finding this one particularly helpful for the stage I am at right now.

ewtn.com/library/SPIRIT/EXAMCONS.TXT

And of course, a general guide and related links, written by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf:

catholic.org/frz/examen/confession_how.htm
 
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Tedster:
Some parishes have gone to strictly a face to face format (small room, two chairs face to face) as mine did for awhile.
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That’s kinda interesting. I thought somewhere it says that the option of behind the screen should always be given and that face to face was up to the preference of the priest, but did not have to be offered. I’m not sure where I saw this, but if anyone knows what I am talking about please help me out. Thanks.

Bootoo,
I will be praying that you will have the strength to go to confession on a regular basis. Through confession, one can receive many graces!

God Bless,
Matt
 
My parish has a “Reconciliation Room.” It is a normal, small room. In the middle of the room is a partition with a screen in the middle of it. On the entrance side of the screen is a chair. Above the entrance to the room is a green/red light. Inside the door is a light switch, and it’s up to the penitent when they walk in to flip the switch to red so no one will barge in. When the penitent exits, he/she is to flip the switch back to green. There’s a prominent colorful sign by the door to remind you as you leave.

I just offer this because this may be the norm in newer church buildings. No traditional confessional booth, and no kneelers. I’m new to the Catholic Church and have no experience going to confession in multiple locations.
 
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JDHallKY:
My parish has a “Reconciliation Room.” It is a normal, small room. In the middle of the room is a partition with a screen in the middle of it. On the entrance side of the screen is a chair. Above the entrance to the room is a green/red light. Inside the door is a light switch, and it’s up to the penitent when they walk in to flip the switch to red so no one will barge in. When the penitent exits, he/she is to flip the switch back to green. There’s a prominent colorful sign by the door to remind you as you leave.

I just offer this because this may be the norm in newer church buildings. No traditional confessional booth, and no kneelers. I’m new to the Catholic Church and have no experience going to confession in multiple locations.
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Ours is similar to this, except that it is an old confessional converted to use, with the screen left in on one side for those who prefer no face-to-face contact with the priest. If one wants to go to standard, no face confession, he or she stays behind the screen and kneels. If one wants to go to face-to-face, one steps forward and into what amounts to a 70s kitchen chair. But the same signal system: Red for penitents, green for priest. We also have four “old-fashioned” confessionals, but seldom the priests to fill them.
 
The three confessionals at my local parishes are all a bit different. My advice would be to take a peak in one when they’re not in use (when confessions aren’t scheduled) to see what to do or just ask the person ahead of you.

I posted the following a while back which might help you make a more fruitful confession and receive more grace from this wonderful sacrament:

Here’s what to do before/during/after confession:

Beginning:
  1. Make an examination of conscience. First, think of all unconfessed mortal sins. These sins must be confessed by kind and (approximate) number for your confession to be valid. If you don’t know the exact number give an approximate(I missed Mass about a dozen times) or estimate it over a period of time (I’ve missed Mass about once a month for the past year). Think of any mitigating circumstances that would increase the severity of the sin (stealing from the Church, punching your parent, etc.) Also, confess all grave sins in this manner. After this, it is highly recommended that you confess your venial sins (especially ones that you are struggling with). An examination on conscience such as the one below might help:
    catholic.org/frz/examen/examen.htm
  2. Be sorry for your sins. Your goal should be perfect contrition (I’m sorry for sinning against God who is all good) but you should at least have imperfect contrition (I’m sorry because I don’t want to go to hell). You can’t really “will” your emotions so don’t get upset if you can’t feel sorry. Be sorry and don’t worry about your feelings.
  3. Have a firm purpose of amendment. You need this for your confession to be valid. For example, you can’t say you’re sorry for using artificial birth control but be resolved to keep on using them after confession. You must at least want to stop the sin and be resolved to try to stop it. For example, if someone is addicted to masturbation but feels that they are weak and helpless against stopping it, their purpose of amendment would be valid as long as they were sorry for their sin and were going to try to stop it. Through the sacrament God will give them the grace to overcome their addiction. However they must be open to that grace with a firm purpose of amendment.
  4. After your examination of conscience, sorrow for your sins and firm purpose of amendment go to confesson.
During:
  1. Make the Sign of the Cross to begin (the priest however may start off).
  2. Say “Bless me father for I have sinned. It has been ______ since my last (good) confession and these are my sins:”
  3. If you have any mortal sin(s) that you forgot to confess last time begin there. Then list all unconfessed mortal sins by kind and (approximate) number first. Also mention any mitigating circumstances that would increase the severity of the sin (stealing $100 from the Church is different than stealing $100 from Bill Gates so if you stole from the Church that would need to be mentioned). Then list all grave sins in the same manner. Then list all venial sins (you don’t need to give a number unless you want to indicate how much you’re struggling with a particular venial sin) you wish to confess (as stated above try to at least confess the ones you are struggling with). After confessing your sins, if you have any situations in your life that you are dealing with you might want to bring them up (for example I’m having trouble with my spouse doing _____ and am unsure what to do.)
  4. When you are finished say “For these sins and all my sins I am sorry”.
  5. The priest should take over from here possibly giving you some advice on your struggles, prescribe a penance, have you say the Act of Contrition (although some priests omit this) and then giving you absolution. The confession is valid without the Act of Contrition although you may wish to say it afterwards.
  6. At the end (after you are dismissed) you can say something such as “Thank you father”, or “Thanks be to God!”.
 
After:
  1. Fullfill your penance as soon as possible.
  2. Thank God for his forgiveness and the grace given to you to help you sin no more through the sacrament of Penance.
  3. Don’t start looking back worrying whether or not you confessed everything. As long as you didn’t deliberately withhold any unconfessed mortal sins (and had a firm purpose of amendment) your absolution was valid and ALL YOUR SINS ARE FORGIVEN. If you happen to remember a mortal sin that you forgot to confess, bring it up in your next confession (although you are still in a state of sanctifying grace and free to receive the sacraments as long as you don’t committ a mortal sin). In other words, remembering an unconfessed mortal doesn’t plunge you back into a state of mortal sin. You just need to bring it up at your next confession.
  4. Go in peace and try to sin no more.
 
Thanks to all of you for your good advice and suggestions.

Lux_et_veritas, yes, the penance service did include individual confessions. The four priests were spread out at the communion rail rather than in the confessionals (I would assume in order to get a long line of people to them in a timely way). Ordinarily in my church, confessions are in the confessional and behind the screen, although I think face-to-face is an option if it is specifically requested.
 
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