M
MA1965
Guest
A few weeks ago I was in utter despair. Going deaf as a musician . Acknowledong my shift wirk and care of an elderly parent had isoloted me from everyone and everythng.
Then I found myself in a emergency room trying to deal with my hearing. As it was I found myself in there with a “born again ex Catholic” with a similar problem who wanted me to accept Jesus as my personal savior.
I knew that I was inadequate, yet she spoke of a "god"as monothilic and tall and imposing such as the stones on Easter Island. In essence a God we must above all become terrified to obey.
I recently went to confession with a priest I did not think I could be honest with. Instead the grace flowed. I had kept from the Eucharist from anger and the woman I care about personally is an ex- Catholic who I am trying , with some sucess to keep out of the adult film industry. My main tool there was simply" “Do you want to have children? " She said “yes”. I said do you want some older brother from another family to come to your son or daughter and say” I saw your mother in the movies!" It tore her open in away that she needed to see. It would be easy to say she is a sinner and beneath me. But there is the trap. I have out sinned her in every way. Instead, I see three things is various order of need and power: the Eucharist, Confession, and in a way I barely understand: the Holy Rosary I need it, we all need it, but above all I want it for her. I want her to see her beauty and passion, should be used in the context of the sanctity of matrimony. I am perhaps too old for her, but I want her to experience this in the love of Christ with someone.
As for me . I as everyone carry the cross. I must see many doctors. I am cranky, shallow, selfish, in fact I am a poor earthern vessel for the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Yet, where can we begin but , here now, today? Did not one apostle give up and hang himself? Did not another deny over and over?Did not one lose his cloak and run naked in the night? In fact I feel most like him.posed and cold in the lies and sins of my inadequacies. Completely predicated that I can live aloof and apart from the need to love my fellow man.
Many of you have prayed for me. Yet, as I returned I felt so alone as my personality is horribly stilted. Yet out of n where my little brother came to a Mass he usually does not come to and we sat and sang. Have you ever tried not letting tears of joy being seen on your cheeks?
Peace.
MA1965
Then I found myself in a emergency room trying to deal with my hearing. As it was I found myself in there with a “born again ex Catholic” with a similar problem who wanted me to accept Jesus as my personal savior.
I knew that I was inadequate, yet she spoke of a "god"as monothilic and tall and imposing such as the stones on Easter Island. In essence a God we must above all become terrified to obey.
I recently went to confession with a priest I did not think I could be honest with. Instead the grace flowed. I had kept from the Eucharist from anger and the woman I care about personally is an ex- Catholic who I am trying , with some sucess to keep out of the adult film industry. My main tool there was simply" “Do you want to have children? " She said “yes”. I said do you want some older brother from another family to come to your son or daughter and say” I saw your mother in the movies!" It tore her open in away that she needed to see. It would be easy to say she is a sinner and beneath me. But there is the trap. I have out sinned her in every way. Instead, I see three things is various order of need and power: the Eucharist, Confession, and in a way I barely understand: the Holy Rosary I need it, we all need it, but above all I want it for her. I want her to see her beauty and passion, should be used in the context of the sanctity of matrimony. I am perhaps too old for her, but I want her to experience this in the love of Christ with someone.
As for me . I as everyone carry the cross. I must see many doctors. I am cranky, shallow, selfish, in fact I am a poor earthern vessel for the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Yet, where can we begin but , here now, today? Did not one apostle give up and hang himself? Did not another deny over and over?Did not one lose his cloak and run naked in the night? In fact I feel most like him.posed and cold in the lies and sins of my inadequacies. Completely predicated that I can live aloof and apart from the need to love my fellow man.
Many of you have prayed for me. Yet, as I returned I felt so alone as my personality is horribly stilted. Yet out of n where my little brother came to a Mass he usually does not come to and we sat and sang. Have you ever tried not letting tears of joy being seen on your cheeks?
Peace.
MA1965
