Edited: found answer in another thread

[catholicWI]

edited: can delete

 

[Xantippe]

Most spouses talk to each other about everything. What is said between them, stays between them. They have mutual friends, family and neighbors. Is it really gossip to tell your wife something your buddy did that you think is ridiculous, or vice versa–even if technically she or he has no need to hear about it?

I’m sure the answer is “yes, it doesn’t matter who you tell” but it would just be so hard to not have a special exception to the person your SOUL is united through with the covenant of matrimony!!

Is it constructive?
Is it something the spouse should know?
Will the spouse resent not being told by you?
Is the spouse going to find out no matter what, so they might as well hear it from you?

I think as long as it’s primarily information and nobody is being hateful or picking over other people, that it isn’t really gossip. And it really is valuable to be one’s spouses confidant.

 

[pensmama87]

I have those conversations with my husband sometimes. I call them, “Is it just me or is that kinda weird?” conversations.

I don’t normally consider them gossip, because we don’t go on to share beyond the two of us, and usually we discuss to see how the other feels about the situation more generally, than to delight in the troubles of others or to laugh at them. For example, a few years ago, a mutual acquaintance of ours announced that he had donated sperm some time back to a female relative in a lesbian relationship so they could have a baby, and that the baby had just been born. Everybody else was very congratulatory, and yeah, the pictures of the baby were adorable, but afterwards when we were on our way home, we had a conversation where we basically said to each other, “Yeah, so that was really weird, right?” It was good, IMO, to make sure we were on the same page. But we didn’t ridicule our friend nor do we really bring it up now, so I don’t think it was gossip.

 

[Pax2u]

I wouldn’t call ordinary conversation between a married couple about persons, places and things “gossip.” Gossip is mean-spirited and meant to tear down someone. Talking over something mean, stupid or just plain wrong that someone you know did can be a chance to get it off your chest, get some different perspective perhaps on why the person did what they did, etc in a safe environment…the spouses can help each other see the big picture, rather than just say something mean about someone for no purpose. If you are thinking in a negative or sinful way, your spouse can help you gain perspective and get back on track. I know my DH and I do that for each other.