I have anxiety and a panic attack disorder. Mine was so bad that I cannot use the standard confessional, I have to go face-to-face. As a teen, once I could drive: I began going to a neighboring parish where I knew that face-to-face was available during regularly scheduled confessions. My home parish had confessionals with heavy velvet curtains, and they were very crammed and stifling. I also did not care to go to my pastor, I found him to be unfeeling and uncaring. The young priest at the neighboring parish often was alone with no penitents in line. The two occupied confessionals had long lines. Seems most people don’t care for face-to-face, or didn’t back then. That priest was literally my lifesaver, and he became my regular confessor for years.
You need to find a priest you are comfortable with, and be upfront about your anxiety and panic attack issues. I find the best way to get over my anxiety about a particular sin is to put that one on the top of the list, blurt it out first, and move right on to the next without skipping a beat. IOW, get it over and done with. For example: impurity 3x’s, lying twice, speeding while driving 4x’s, etc. As you get The Big M out of the way, you will find your anxiety levels drop too. At least that has been my experience.
I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, a type of depression related to shorter days and less daylight in the winter. I have been stressed out due to a recent move, and was quite depressed on top of things. When I made my first confession, after getting established in my new parish, I let the priest know those facts first. I ended up getting panicky and started crying, I couldn’t even talk, or make the usual Act of Contrition. Father just listened quietly, and gave me absolution and didn’t even assign a penance. I think he felt I was suffering as it was; I had also informed him I had several upcoming medical issues, including two surgical procedures. Because it was a scheduled meeting, after absolution he gave me the Sacrament of The Anointing of the Sick (he had asked before if I wished to be anointed).
I didn’t think I was going to get through the Sacrament, because when I’m depressed, my anxiety levels go up as well. It doesn’t help that I have Autism (Aspergers Syndrome) which has it’s own set of emotional, as well as social, problems.
The one thing you don’t want to do, is give in to despair. You really need to seek a priest and just be upfront about your situation.
I recall Father Peter Stravinskas answering a question from a reader (Catholic Answers Magazine). She said that she suffered from major depression, and struggled with confession. Her confessor told her that she was to simply say every time she went to the sacrament “I am sorry for any and all sins I committed”. She asked Father Stravinskas what she should do, and was her confession valid. He replied that she should obey the priest, and yes her confession was valid. The priests job is also to assist the penitent with getting through the sacrament.
Please don’t put this off any longer; you are just creating additional anxiety for you, which in turn feeds those panic attacks. People have experienced physical, mental and emotional healing from this sacrament, in addition to the spiritual healing. So by not availing yourself of the sacrament, you are putting off a potential opportunity to experience healing of your anxiety disorder.
I know how debilitating panic attacks can be; most of mine occurred at night, would last for 30 minutes to an hour, and frequently necessitated a trip to the ER, where I would be given Vistaril and Demerol. So I speak from personal experience with what I wrote.
