Embarassing oneself accidentally at mass

[anon8387311]

Today I went to 5:15 p.m Mass and was asked to do a reading. After not sleeping well last night , and running on caffeine wich I am sensitive to (but neccesary) I felt a little jittery and nervous about the Idea today, so after declining … and a rather pushy minister who wouldn’t take a simple No for an answer I reluctantly agreed. I only read when I know I can do so from the heart and today I just wasn’t feeling it … I wanted to listen and absorb. No chance of that

Due to a health condition I have brain fog poor concentration and cognitive bouts of “getting a little mixed up” and after the Priest started and interjected a quick warm “Good evening” every body … And everyone replying, I found myself loudly saying “Good afternoon father” … Then realising my mistake I quickly said “Er I mean good evafter, erm good afternoon father” by which point everyone had stopped speaking and I was having a conversation with myself in the silence of the church. The Choir singer and Organist gave me a look like a complete crazy person had walked into the church … and couldn’t blame them, standing there red faced my mouth gaping embarassed blushing and feeling like an Idiot who’s never been to a church in his life.

I then got to the reading, and though feeling dizzy and light headed, I managed not to collapse over the Missal like I felt was about to happen, but I did continue to read the response before realising I wasn’t supposed to … This being my first Sung mass where I have read, the Response and Psalm is sung by the choir singer not just the gospel acclamation like I thoght and again I caught his rather angry and icey gaze as he walked towards me from the side and I mouthed sorry and scampered back to my pew. I lost what happened then until it came to the mystery of faith and was so embarrassed I almost wasn’t going to get up and receive communion.

I waited till last … Received the Lord’s body, when I got near the chalice after quing it was empty. Doh! Here I go again in view of everyone (thinking just who is this guy? And where did they get him from?)

*The point of this rather long anecdote is … Has nyone else ever made an Idiot of themselves in church out of genuine having a perpetuating brain f**rt display of buffoonery? And who usually is on the ball when it comes to mass? Or is it just me?

Today I am humbled to the point I may avoid the Church for a few weeks and go elsehwere, change my appearance and always sit at the back … and just say I am illiterate next time I’m asked to read.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Rest assured that you’re not the only person this sort of thing has ever happened to.

I recently stepped down after six years as head sacristan. My public brainfades and incidents of buffoonery are too numerous to count. And yet, I was never removed from the position. I was sometimes quite surprised by that

Last Saturday evening, I was asked to read the first reading. Note that I am a native English speaker living in France, the Mass is (logically) in French, and my French is far from fluent. I said yes anyway. After I stumbled over a few words and transposed a couple of lines, I returned to my seat and the liturgy continued. It happens. Not a big deal.

In any event, there is no need to avoid going to church, change your appearance or relegate yourself to the back pews. While this incident may be crystal clear in your own mind, chances are good that others have already forgotten about it.

It’s not necessary to lie to get out of reading. If you want to decline, say no and stand firm. You can’t be forced to read. They will find someone else. My former pastor was notorious for strong-arming certain people into reading at Mass during the week and then wondered why he stopped seeing those people at Mass. :man_shrugging:t3: :woman_facepalming:t2:

I’m not sure why you think you should have known the chalice was empty before you got close enough to look into it.

You’re fine. You were tired. Everyone gets tired. I’ve even seen two different priests fall asleep during Masses they were celebrating! So don’t worry about this. Anyone who still remembers this six months from now and is rude enough to remind you of it is the person with the real problem, not you.

God bless! :raising_hand_woman:t2:

 

[jvickers]

People make mistakes. That is what make them people . I don’t think you did anything heinous.

The incident with the chalice happens as well. In the US, chalice bearers cover the chalice with the purificator (white cloth) to signal they are out of precious blood. Typically, they are replaced by a chalice bearer who has precious blood left. That’s if there are multiple chalice bearers.

I wouldn’t sweat either incident. As I said, things happen.

 

[anon8387311]

“Good afternoon father” with tons of enthusiasm when it’s pitch dark outside in wintertime is the genuine worst mistake I’ve made at church ever ( Aside from when I was three years old and crawled under all the pews harassing everybody) thanks all the same though I’m feeling a little less of a Klutz today lol

 

[jvickers]

As I said, we’re people. One time, the pastor said, “Bless you” to me as we were leaving. Out of reflex, I said “Bless you, too”. Much to my chagrin, I remembered that only priests can bless people. I should have said, “God bless you”, which is more like a prayer. I immediately realized my mistake and said I was sorry. The pastor just smiled and waggled his finger at me.

 

[anon8387311]

The ministers at some of the churches I attend are causing a similar issue. I mentioned this on another thread too. I am not going to avoid church but I am considering staying in the porch or outside of the chapel area until the priest arrives to avoid being asked when I’m really not capable of doing so and being pressured into doing ao. I love reading and being of some service in whatever way I can, but my heart must be in it and my brain must be working right that day … Otherwise I am all eyes and ears open (mouth closed) from now on.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

If you really think you need to do this, that’s fine. Frankly, though, it should be possible to decline without explanation. If the person asking doesn’t accept your “no,” that’s his/her problem, not yours.

Do be polite in all circumstances, however. (I’m not saying that you aren’t.) When dealing with the persistent—God bless them—I have found that smiling and being pleasant tends to end the exchange without forcing me to cave in to whatever request has been made

 

[jvickers]

I know that when we have absences in the Eucharistic Ministry that day, people are scrambling to find stand-ins. Frequently, they recruit from the parish members those who are Eucharistic Ministers. The panic is sometimes palpable. Fortunately, with our Ministry Scheduling Program, we are alerted in advance when someone needs a substitute. Things to creep up at the last moment, though. My wife is a lector, for instance. There have been rare occasions when one of the two lectors did not show up to Mass. Typically, the one lector reads both readings if a replacement cannot be found.