Embarrassed by priest

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whichwaytogo47

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I serve as a lector. The priest was upset that I came to mass because I was really congested. He was like you don’t need to come to mass when you’re sick. The problem is while I felt I could make people uncomfortable, I didn’t feel sick. I ended up having a sinus infection, though I didn’t know if it was a cold or allergies, though I knew that my cold was significantly aggravated by my allergies and not a bad cold. Some people who know me weren’t turned off by my coughing because they know it’s a chronic problem. I’ve had a persistent cough for a week and had trouble sleeping. I was able to complete my novena yesterday. I did have to excuse myself from the collection to go outside and have my coughing fit but than felt better though it probably didn’t show as I still had nasal issues thereafter.

I had no problem physically serving as lector but had the gross out factor. And I get it that people don’t want to get sick. I have fewer spells now that I take the proper allergy meds (Singluar, Dymista, and Xyzal) but I always have to blow my nose and often (unfortunately) sneeze at mass and the same father said bless you in front of 600 people. So embarrassing.

I am very allergic to dust so sometimes coming from my house that is clean with my dog, I forget to bring my tissues and this can be pretty gross and disgusting. I try to excuse myself to the bathroom to get paper towels or something so I’m not making a mess on the church pew or clothes.
 
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I have bad sinuses myself and I know it can be difficult when people act like one is contagious when one really isn’t.

If it were just a matter of you sitting in the pew and maybe having to step out to cough, I’d say no problem, just sit in the back or near a door to step out.

However, you’re a lector. That means you’re not only “on display” before the congregation, but also you are going to be speaking and reading before them. People generally don’t want to hear someone reading in a congested voice or to see someone coughing in the sanctuary or front pew. I know your friends understand, but a lot of people at Mass probably don’t know you that well.

I don’t think the priest meant to embarrass you. Perhaps he could have handled it better. But in any event I think you might have a talk with him and let him know you have this chronic sinus problem so the two of you can figure how to handle you being a lector when you are congested. Maybe he would rather you get a sub on those days. Or perhaps your doctor can recommend a decongestant that you could use for Mass.

And in any event, don’t forget your tissues. Put a box in your car so you can grab some, or somewhere else you can get them easily.
 
Don’t worry! You should never be ashamed because of serving the Lord! Always remember that you do your best for Jesus.

Deus benedicat!
 
Try to keep your brother’s and sisters in mind when you’re not feeling well. Hopefully, you didn’t receive the precious blood from the cup ?

In my parish, we only have one priest. If he picks up a virus, we have a problem getting a priest to serve in his place.

Jim
 
Unfortunately it has a lot to do with the “gross out factor”, as you put it. I and many at your church probably understand, but there will be many that see this and think you are contagious. Since you are in public and in front as a lector, it might be better to avoid the situation if avoidable. That might be easier said than done since the onset can be unpredictable. I doubt the priest meant to offend you, but you can share that with him.

Another thought: maybe your doctor can reevaluate your condition or refer you to a specialist.
 
JimR-OCDS said:
Try to keep your brother’s and sisters in mind when you’re not feeling well. Hopefully, you didn’t receive the precious blood from the cup ?
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Nope, if I think it’s a cold, I don’t shake hands and I don’t drink from the cup. That would be disrespectful. Only if I am 100% sure it’s pure allergies would I consider doing that.

I agree with the responses that he wasn’t trying to be offensive or to embarrass me. I wasn’t offended, but I was embarrassed. That said, I agree with the gross-out factor especially since my allergies are under control. I was thankful that I didn’t cough or sniffle during the readings or the prayers of the faithful. That said if someone’s lavender perfume gets my nose running, I might move my seat (especially if not lectoring) but if I was lectoring, I probably would still drink from the cup.

Thanks for all the suggestions. It was very helpful.
 
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But you weren’t sure at the time as you stated in your OP, but still attended Mass and served as Lector

You’re serving God by serving your brothers and sisters.

Even if you feel well, you can still be carrying a virus

For elderly people, a virus can kill them.

Your priest was right to respond as he did.

Jim
 
I may have been able to be excused from my lector duties but I still would have needed to attend mass as I just wasn’t as sick as I sounded. I don’t believe people’s perception of being sick is an adequate excuse for missing mass but it definitely is a reasonable reason to have someone else sub as lector.

But I probably should have asked to be excused from the lector so I could have sat in back and left if I needed to. I get your sentiment about elderly people and wouldn’t visit my grandma if sick.
 
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No, you don’t need to attend Mass if you are congested and think it may be a cold.

It doesn’t matter how you feel, but you were congested so you couldn’t have felt very well.

Jim
 
I honestly get that confused, especially since not so long ago, this was an every week thing not just occasionally. So I’m used to “not feeling perfectly” and thus sometimes get confused about my mass obedience. Sorry if I got defensive or was not listening.
 
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What are you confused about ?

You are excused from your obligation to attend Mass if you’re congested and might be carrying a virus.

God understands.

Jim
 
But for how long are you excused? If you are still sick 3 weeks later and obviously not carrying a virus, does that mean on the 4th week you finally go to mass? I think it’s possible to be contagious from the common cold for up to 16 days from coughing, sneezing, or sniffles.

I’d miss a lot of masses if every time I was congested, I didn’t go. That said, there are probably a lot of times where I know that I’m not sick, aka not even a little sick aka know I have no virus.
 
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Doesn’t matter. If your sick or a month, do not attend Mass

You had a sinus infection, that’s nothing to be ignored either.

Perhaps you’re being too scrupulous ?

Listen to your priest

Jim
 
whichwaytogo47 said:
If you are still sick 3 weeks later and obviously not carrying a virus,
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Follow the advice of your physician. If you are going to “aerosol” others with your coughing or sneezing, for the same of the elderly, and immune compromised, wear a mask when you go out.
 
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