Emotional Affairs - mortal sin?

[cviolette]

Are emotional affairs considered a mortal sin, venial sin or no sin?

I’ll give an example of relationship. Married man and married woman are friends. They have the same hobby and get together every Saturday and Sunday for two or three hours. Some of the time is just the two of them (in public) and part of the time in a group. They probably spend about 50% of the time talking just the two of them.

They discuss how the week was. He talks about problems at work, his daughter, his wife’s illness, their hobby and life in general. She discusses kids, hobby, church, finances and life in general. No physical contact but compliments, flirting and occasional impure conversation or joke.

Both spouses know that they get together on weekends and do not have a problem with it. No contact during the week. No emails. No phone calls.

Now if they were to stop the flirting and impure conversations could they still be friends without it being a sin? Or does the relationship have to end? Does it matter more how they feel than how they act? Is it okay to get emotional needs that are not met in the marriage outside the marriage, as long as those needs are not sexual?

 

[Bookcat]

A married person needs to live always as a married person

interior and exterior faithfulness

 

[Georgia]

If this were a real situation, I would advise the two people to be very careful. Though not always, friendships that involve flirting could go beyond where they and their spouses wished. It’s better avoided.

 

[cviolette]

A married person needs to live always as a married person

interior and exterior faithfulness

That’s what I thought.

If this were a real situation, I would advise the two people to be very careful. Though not always, friendships that involve flirting could go beyond where they and their spouses wished. It’s better avoided.

It is real and I am working on ending it. The last two weekends, we only were together on Saturday. And last Saturday, I made sure that for most of the time, we were with at least one other person. We have been friends for around 7 years but the dynamics have changed over the last few months. I realized a few weeks ago that it wasn’t fair to our spouses. I hate to lose a good friend but I also do not have the right to the attention of another woman’s husband.

I am hoping to go to confession (over something else) soon so that I can receive Communion. It has been a couple of months and I need to start receiving Communion. I starting thinking today that maybe I shouldn’t receive Communion until I end this friendship. So right now I am concerned if this is considered grave matter or venial. I think I will need to discuss it with the priest during confession. I plan on scheduling an appointment.

 

[tbcrawford]

Matthew 5:28
But I say to you, that whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart.

But I tell you that whoever looks at a woman and cherishes lustful thoughts has already in his heart become guilty with regard to her.

Exodus 20:17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

James 1: 14 " but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed."

 

[catharina]

No physical contact but compliments, flirting and occasional impure conversation or joke.

This is over the line for sure.
How does one “un-ring” this bell?
It can’t be done in my opinion.
Even if both parties were single,
impure conversations are sinful.

My advice?
Step far away and don’t look back.
Both of these adults are playing with fire -
risking spouses and families in the mix.

No one should play with fire!

 

[cviolette]

This is over the line for sure.
How does one “un-ring” this bell?
It can’t be done in my opinion.
Even if both parties were single,
impure conversations are sinful.

My advice?
Step far away and don’t look back.
Both of these adults are playing with fire -
risking spouses and families in the mix.

No one should play with fire!

Yes - I am finding it hard to un-ring the bell and it is easy to slip into old habit. You’re right time to step away.