Employee can’t resign from rectory?

[MindyG]

A disturbing situation has come to my attention. My friend and my daughter’s godfather had given his resignation as religious education administrator at his parish. The pastor did not accept it. In explaining to the pastor, that he was giving his two week notice, he suggested his wife as his successor (as he believed her capacity to learn quickly and knowledge of his position and all that it entails) or whomever & would be more than happy to assist in training for easy transition. The pastor in turn totally dismissed him. Pastor said he ( my daughter godfather) doesn’t know what he’s doing, that he can’t leave, and training a woman is not possible because it’s very stressful and if she was to get pregnant she could miscarry and the pastor left his (my daughter godfather) office- not taking the resignation letter and advising him that he ( the pastor) would be gone for a week or so, and he wouldn’t do this (leaving) to the church.
So here is my friend (compadre) now having to leave his position with no one to take over for him. It’s like the pastor is coercing guiltying him to stay. But my friend can’t stay and he’s not going to stay. He’s accepted his new job offer. In pastors absence He even tried to speak to the secretary and staff there, and they’re in some sort of denial too. Telling him the same - “no, you’re not leaving. Father said you’re not leaving” and he insists to them he is. And he’s going to have to inform whatever staff he can of as much as he can of everything he’s in charge of.
I fear for him of the repercussion the pastor may impose on him for leaving the parish “jilted”.
Can anyone suggest anything? I think he needs to have a paper trail of some kind to show that he adequately gave notice and in good faith wanted to provide an easy transition. I fear the pastor might smear his reputation as a faithful and good employee for the plus 10 -15 years he’s worked there. Btw not sure if this matters but This as Los Angeles archdiocese parish. Pastor is Filipino and most of community is Filipino now since this pastor arrived. My friend is Hispanic. His wife is Filipino. Am I right in suggesting this to my friend? Thoughts? Please advise.

 

[Irishmom2]

He could send his resignation to the pastor in the mail by registered letter. He should send a copy of his resignation to the archdiocese and leave as planned. Not sure what he thinks his pastor can “do” to him. Sounds like leaving that job was a good move.

 

[angel12]

I think he needs to have a paper trail of some kind to show that he adequately gave notice and in good faith wanted to provide an easy transition.

That 's a good idea. Maybe send a registered letter to Father, along the lines of “As we discussed on (date), I gave my two - week notice, and offered to assist in training my replacement to ensure an easy transition.”
Keep it short, clear, and professional. I would also mention who else on staff he had told, and on what dates. Close with how he is happy to have served the parish in this role.
Registered, return-receipt.
Agree with Irishmom2 about a copy to the archdiocese.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

Pastor said he ( my daughter godfather) doesn’t know what he’s doing, that he can’t leave, and training a woman is not possible because it’s very stressful and if she was to get pregnant she could miscarry

Whuuu…???

 

[BartholomewB]

The pastor in turn totally dismissed him. Pastor said he ( my daughter godfather) doesn’t know what he’s doing, that he can’t leave,

The pastor “told him he can’t leave”? I hope that’s not a wholly accurate report of the conversation that took place. It would mean that the pastor told him a … [cough] … an untruth.

 

[TheLittleLady]

In the US, the number of employment discrimination laws that were broken in this scenario is pretty staggering. The pastor likely is unaware of these laws, but, it is time for him to learn before someone goes to the EEOC!!

This needs to go directly to the Diocese. They have a Human Relations person/department. This department needs to be aware of everything you typed above. And like now.

 

[chessnerd321]

That certainly sounds like a tough situation. But why is he leaving? I might get flamed for saying this, but one should at least consider obeying ones pastor.

 

[angel12]

I might get flamed for saying this, but one should at least consider obeying ones pastor.

He’s already accepted a new job offer. And unless you have a written contract that says otherwise, no one can order you not to resign a job. Maybe the pastor was just having a bad day, maybe he’s worried about filling the decision – but he had no right to tell someone they can’t resign.

 

[chessnerd321]

Maybe not a legal right, but I wouldn’t lightly disobey a direct order from my pastor. That’s all I’m saying. He certainly should’ve been nicer about it. And I agree that’s an inappropriate way of asking someone to stay.

 

[SMHW]

This man is not “disobeying his pastor” because the pastor has requested something outside of his area of pastoral authority over the man.

The pastor, it would seem, has a cultural understanding that a pastor’s authority over his parishioner extends to all areas of the parishioner’s life. The pastor is almost certainly violating the archdiocesan labor policies and he’s asking his --for now-- employee to be complicit in this violation.

 

[Cruciferi]

should at least consider obeying ones pastor.

Sure, You can consider it. But I wouldn’t hold his demands in higher esteem than anyone else’s.

I wouldn’t lightly disobey a direct order from my pastor.

Well, this is concerning employment. Nobody is an indentured servant here. @TheLittleLady is correct, this needs to be reported to the Diocese.

 

[chessnerd321]

Sure, You can consider it. But I wouldn’t hold his demands in higher esteem than anyone else’s.

You guys are probably right on this one. But the statement above is just false in general. Our pastor is our father and shepherd. If we have no reason to disobey such as higher authority we can’t. It’s that simple.

 

[Cruciferi]

Our pastor is our father and shepherd. If we have no reason to disobey such as higher authority we can’t. It’s that simple.

In this instance the person is well within their rights to leave. Furthermore, I’ve personally seen instances where Priests have acted less than appropriate and needed corrected or to be ignored. My former Parish Priest made a habit of verbally abusing Parishioners, hurling accusations and making unreasonable demands.

 

[SMHW]

Our pastor is our father and shepherd. If we have no reason to disobey such as higher authority we can’t. It’s that simple.

In this case, it seems that there must be a conflict between the pastor’s expectations and the bishop’s expectations.

 

[chessnerd321]

You have said nothing which contradicts my last post.

 

[SMHW]

Should the employee obey the pastor when pastor is violating the bishop’s policy (by making the demand)?

 

[chessnerd321]

You’re arguing with a strawman. I said I was wrong. Did you even read my post?

 

[TheLittleLady]

This is a distorted view of the respect owed to our priests.

You are talking about the laws of the United States.

People are not indentured servants. Unless the man in question signed an employment contract, even then the courts would have to enforce it.

The statements about not hiring women are blatantly against the law in the US. No one is helping this priest by allowing him to remain in ignorance of US law.

 

[chessnerd321]

People. Leave me be.

 

[angel12]

Our pastor is our father and shepherd. If we have no reason to disobey such as higher authority we can’t. It’s that simple.

Not when it comes to non-church matters. A pastor has no authority to tell you what job to hold.