Emtional Cheating (3 months married) help!

[peaceful88]

Still didnt answer me, did you read my post or not?

Yes I read my post.

So basically at this point now I am aloud and he willing is letting me read all their conversations together. He did tell her today why this is a bad idea and why they can’t continue being friends but can only talk about work stuff. Oddly the girl actually seems confused by the idea.

We are still going to a marriage consoler still to discusse what has happened and if he should stop talking to her on aim although even with work stuff.

I do feel that even though it is extremely painful on us…him confronting these buried feelings and resolving them is just better than ignoring what is down there. He says he was stupid not doing this before we got married which I made him realize. With this feeling for her there is no way he could have ever been emotional open and faithful to me. He thought they would just go away.

None the less through this situation he said they are gone that by my actions and her actions it is clear that he shouldn’t be having these feelings. It is now just getting him to understand to prevent such from happening again what course of action he needs to take.

 

[BlueShadow123]

Yes I read my post.

So basically at this point now I am aloud and he willing is letting me read all their conversations together. He did tell her today why this is a bad idea and why they can’t continue being friends but can only talk about work stuff. Oddly the girl actually seems confused by the idea.

We are still going to a marriage consoler still to discusse what has happened and if he should stop talking to her on aim although even with work stuff.

I do feel that even though it is extremely painful on us…him confronting these buried feelings and resolving them is just better than ignoring what is down there. He says he was stupid not doing this before we got married which I made him realize. With this feeling for her there is no way he could have ever been emotional open and faithful to me. He thought they would just go away.

None the less through this situation he said they are gone that by my actions and her actions it is clear that he shouldn’t be having these feelings. It is now just getting him to understand to prevent such from happening again what course of action he needs to take.

Good! Also you have to remember this incase it happens to you in the future.

 

[peaceful88]

So since the marriage consoler we are going to see won’t be a for a few weeks I am really hoping that he can figure out why talking to her is a bad idea for himself. It is extermely hard on me to watch and hurts. But if he figures this out for himself that is what is best not someone telling him what he should and shoudln’t do it is way better. However, if it comes down to that I hope the marriage consoler can give him enough logic to make him see why it has to be done for himself.

It really is hard to watch this but the fact he came to the resolve the feelings is by himself is good.

Keep us in your prays!

 

[crazzeto]

Will continue to keep you in my prayers, more over I will suggest you seek a priest. There are spiritual issues which need to be worked out, possibly pratical matters with regard to the marriage if this affair was going on at the time you guys got married. I would contact the most orthodox priest you can find for counsoling. God bless,

 

[LittleMother]

Without having read all three pages of responses…

He already cheated emotionally with her, he does not have the luxury of choosing to keep her as a friend. He lost that right when he crossed the line. He needs to stop ALL unecessary communicatrion with her. Business ONLY. He needs to learn to bounce his eyes off her when he sees her and bounce his mind off her when he thinks about her. He can think that things won’t change all he wants and as long as he’s making no changes then he’s right. You both deserve better than that though. He needs to choose to change. He can control his actions and God will take care of the rest.