Engagement anxiety

[Blondeespresso]

I am betrothed to my best friend and will marry him in just over a year. However, lately I have been besieged with anxiety that somehow we will be forced apart by death, another woman, etc etc.

The fear of not being called to marry him is terrifying. I know if God called me away, I’d leave, even if it destroyed me. My sweetheart makes me the best version of myself and has brought me so closer to God. I want to follow God’s will so much. I read Discernment of Spirits and I think I’m under some sort of spiritual attack. Is there anyone who has been in this situation before?

 

[heidi_storage]

First thing: slowly put down the Victorian novels. Your betrothed is unlikely to perish from consumption or be lost at sea. Unless there’s some critical information missing here (ie, he’s got a life-threatening cancer), if you and he want to get married, you will be able to do so.

If your post is sincere and accurate, your problem here would seem to be an unhealthy anxiety and dwelling on worst-case scenarios. Please get help for your anxiety. I wish you the best.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Thing is, unless Christ returns or you both die in an accident, you will be forced apart by death. Everybody dies.

If you doubt your husband will be faithful, start talking about this with your counselor and the priest doing your marriage prep.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

My question would be, is any of this rooted in reality, or is it just pre-wedding jitters?

As someone else asked, do you or your husband have some illness in your past or in your family, or some dangerous career such as law enforcement or the military where one of you could die? Did you have a parent pass away at a young age so you’re generally worried about losing a loved one? If any of these apply, it might be something to discuss with your future spouse, your spiritual advisor, or a counselor. If none of these apply, and it’s just your imagination running away with you, then you need to accept that everybody dies and that eventually you will probably be separated by death. Pray for final perseverance and then put it out of your mind, except maybe when trying to minimize your health risks so you both live longer.

With respect to “another woman”, do you have some reason to think that your future spouse might cheat? If so, then you need to discuss it with him, your spiritual advisor and/or a counsellor. If not, then it’s your imagination again, and you need to put it out of your mind and give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Blondeespresso]

I don’t think he would cheat. Growing up, I had many friends or relatives die suddenly, as well as several beloved pets, including a cat who was poisoned by a neighbor’s tainted water. I think it messed with me to see something I loved so much to be fine, then die in my arms an hour later. When I was in high school, my first boyfriend would abuse me as well by threatening to rape me or choke me if I ever did anything he didn’t like. I started being extremely anxious after all of that, though I did heal.

 

[Retsel]

Is there anyone who has been in this situation before?

Just about every person under the age of forty has had fears like yours.

Mass-media has been propagating fear on just about everything for decades now.
Face it, they don’t make money on happy people.

Put their lies behind you, cheer up, marry and have a family!
Don’t miss a FULL life!

 

[TheLittleLady]

my first boyfriend would abuse me as well by threatening to rape me or choke me if I ever did anything he didn’t like. I started being extremely anxious after all of that, though I did heal.

Prayers. I hope that you have had counseling for this abuse!

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Just about every person under the age of forty has had fears like yours.

Yeah, this is true. I had them too, except I was more afraid of someone being protractedly ill or disabled or hospitalized rather than dying, because my father had been in the hospital with serious conditions four times during my years growing up and the last stay left him with a permanent physical disability that was hard for my mother to cope with. I was also more afraid of my own self being unfaithful and ruining things than I was of my husband doing that.

Can’t say much without writing a book which would include more personal info than I want to share, but let’s just say God worked everything out.
Trust in God.

 

[AdamP88]

However, lately I have been besieged with anxiety that somehow we will be forced apart by death, another woman, etc etc.

No point worrying about that, though those fears are somewhat natural sometimes. Though if he loves you you won’t ever need to worry about another woman coming between you.

The fear of not being called to marry him is terrifying.

But that’s up to you and him. God is not going to suddenly ask you to leave your intended.
Enjoy these few months before your wedding and focus on preparing for the great vocation of marriage!

 

[TheLittleLady]

Marriage is something you should go into fairly level headed. God bless you.

Amen. Two people should be looking forward to marriage, “I cannot wait to be Mrs. blah blah” sort of excitement.