Engagement before Graduation from College?

[jilly4ski]

jilly4ski, thank you for yoru advice, but again you don’t have the full situation.

We are both going to the same graduate school, assuming we both keep our grades where they should be. We are entering the accelerated programs for our respective majors. Therefore there won’t be as much of that concern.

Of course I’ll support her, but we are supporting each other in our goal of obtaining a masters degree, and then eventually for me a doctorate. But it is reciprocal for us. It is both of us going to school.

Of course it is reciprocal, I was just saying, being in school with a child is much different for Mom than for Dad. (pf course you said that you would initially wait to have children so it might not even be a problem). I guess I am surprised you already have been accepted into graduate school. I didn’t think they worked that way, but maybe there is a special program with your undergrad. If so congratulations! I will keep you and your future wife in my prayers.

 

[seeker_of_God]

Of course it is reciprocal, I was just saying, being in school with a child is much different for Mom than for Dad. (pf course you said that you would initially wait to have children so it might not even be a problem). I guess I am surprised you already have been accepted into graduate school. I didn’t think they worked that way, but maybe there is a special program with your undergrad. If so congratulations! I will keep you and your future wife in my prayers.

We weren’t accepted yet. We are going to the same place though for our graduate studies hopefully as our undergraduate. Both of our programs have an accelerated program where you can begin graduate classes your senior year, so that you have less time in the masters, I think either a year or a year and a half. There is a requirement to keep grades above a 3.0 I think, but other than that I’m not sure if the acceptance process is very rigorous, but I don’t think so. I think as long as we keep our grades up, we should have a good chance of getting into the accelerated program.

 

[OSUbride0708]

My husband and I started dating in high school, my junior yr and his senior yr. We got engaged my sophomore year of college and married after I moved back home and was about done with my internship. He still had one more year of pharmacy school, so we lived with my parents for a year, and welcomed a baby a month before our 1 yr anniversary.
We did not want to wait, especially after being together so long. My motherly instincts were kicking in and I really loved him and we both couldn’t wait to start a family. That being said, I knew that it wouldn’t work if I got pregnant and we were living 3 hrs away from our family with no help. So, we waited until I was done and we were back home so that we didn’t have to worry about avoiding pregnancy once we were married. It was definitely worth the wait, even though it was really hard to wait.
Patience really pays off sometimes.

 

[RazzsMom]

Cat - what a great response! That is what I believe, too!

Great answer!

(Now I sound like we are on the Family Feud! lol)

I have never, never, regretted getting married as young as we were. It was fun to grow as a couple. We had been dating for three years already and we knew we wanted to be together. I am just glad the Lord did see fit to not send us a child until we were done being children ourselves!

 

[FrenchGwen]

I have never, never, regretted getting married as young as we were. It was fun to grow as a couple. We had been dating for three years already and we knew we wanted to be together. I am just glad the Lord did see fit to not send us a child until we were done being children ourselves!

I could have written this myself !! (especially the last one)

 

[glb517]

I am a college senior who will be graduating after next fall term and I am getting married this summer. My fiance is also graduating in the fall.

We got engaged in January on our 2 year anniversary. It took a lot of meditation and prayer before we were able to make that decision. We wanted to make sure that we were setting our relationship up for success. There were a lot of things that we had to consider such as how we were going to support each other. Thankfully we both have summer internships this year but during fall term there won’t be any source of income other than what we saved but most of that money will go towards the wedding. We will also we be off of our parents insurance once we get married so we had to make sure that we could afford insurance.

We were contemplating getting married in December after we graduate but we realized that the option wouldn’t work for us and we set a date for September 18th.

What is best for your situation? You have to look at that and see where you are in your lives and make sure that you both are on the same page. Also make sure that you can afford to get married. Don’t forget the 6 months of marriage prep

Good luck, it can be done. Pray about it!

 

[beckers]

I like short engagments. My finace and i got engaged in Feb and are getting married in Oct of this year. Like one of the other posters i am in law school. We thought about waiting until after i graduated next spring to get married but then there is that BAR exam so the summer is out. We decided that getting married before all the stress of the graduation and the BAR would make more sense since we have never lived together it will be quite a change. BEtter get all that out of the way before the craziness of the BAR. We didn’t come to this decision lightly because getting married while i am in school means i dodn’t get to enjoy any of the wedding plan. My mom and sister are planning it. Do i wish i could enjoy it…yes but i love my finace and don’t want to wait to start a life and a family. Instead we are going to foucs our time on the spiritual side and the prepartion for the marriage. The reception is for everyone else.

What will make it work is having a plan.

1.) Actaully sit down and look at your finance-If you can’t afford to live on your own then don’t get married. Its not fair to make your parents foot any of the bills while you play house. IF your going to be a family then you need to be able to provide for each other.

2.) Planning a family. This one is hard. Having a baby is hard while your in school. A few of my friends are pergo while in school. Its extermely difficult. You and your GF need to think about it. You may plan on using NFP but you need to relaize that God can over rule your intentions. Being in school and pregnant is tiring and it effects your studying abilities. Plus you both may get baby fever!

3.) Future Job-So your in this masters program but how does the job market look? Is it going to be worth wild to get the masters? Is it going to pay off? Who’s career will come first? That may seem like a silly question but right now you can be in the same program but what about after your done? Are you going to be able to work for the same company or is this a carrer where there will be enough oppertunities for you to get jobs in the same town? If not who’s takes priority? Will she have to put her job career on hold because of kids?

4.) Debt- You both have school loans. How much debt are you bringing into the relationship. What is your plan in paying it off? Do you both have the same financial ideas of how to run a budget? Are you are the same page or is one of you more a spender while the other is a saver.

5.) Social life- Your social life in grad school will be different then it is now. Are you ready for that? It sucks sometimes not being able to go out or be able to join study groups because i have other committments like my finace and working part-time.

6.) Working–Are you planning on working while in school? Let me tell you its hard. Because you go from school to work and then when you get home the last thing you want to do is study. All you want to do is unwinded but that is hard when you have to hit the books. But with a family (even if it just a wife) means you have a obligations that you have to do with providing income.

7.) Time together-Are you going to have the time to spend together. Yes you will live together but will you have time to grow as a couple. Which comes first your family or school? You probaly think family but what about when those test and papers come around. Are you emotional ready to deal with the effects that the stress of school will have on you? Grad school is different then undergrad. The work load is more stressfully and they are not going to baby you at all like they do in undergrad.

In the end, we can all give you advice but none of us can make the decision for you. Read, pray and talk. Make sure your on the same page so that you both go into this with eyes wide open because your the one who has to live with the outcome.

Best wishes with the end of the school year and your relationship!

Beckers