Engagement in jeopardy

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theresa

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My sister is engaged to be married to a great guy. She has suffered from depression for years but is on medication and does well with that. Her fiance’s family found out about the depression, and have gone off the deep end. They have discouraged him from marrying my sister because of her mental health condition. In fact, they have pretty much demanded that he not marry her. It’s a mess. This has caused lots of stress and has cast doubt on whether or not they should get married, if it’s going to cause such a problem with his family. What’s my role in all this? Do I stay out of it or make my opinion known? Of course, I’m praying for all of them. Any advice?
 
Your role in all this is to support your sister. The stress of this type of stituation on someone who already struggles with depression is even harder on them.

This is truly a test of their love for one another. If her fiance buckles to the demands of his family then he does not love her enough to marry her. It is better for her that this situtation is being dealt with now and not after they are married.

His family sounds unreasonable and it makes me wonder if they have other issues with this relationship. Personally, I think they should be ashamed of themselves. It just seems, to me, they have another agenda and this is a point they can use in their favor.

I will keep your family in my prayers. God bless!
 
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theresa:
My sister is engaged to be married to a great guy. She has suffered from depression for years but is on medication and does well with that. Her fiance’s family found out about the depression, and have gone off the deep end. They have discouraged him from marrying my sister because of her mental health condition. In fact, they have pretty much demanded that he not marry her. It’s a mess. This has caused lots of stress and has cast doubt on whether or not they should get married, if it’s going to cause such a problem with his family. What’s my role in all this? Do I stay out of it or make my opinion known? Of course, I’m praying for all of them. Any advice?
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Demand… DEMAND… i would bet the quickest way to get her to marry him is to keep demanding… 👍
 
As someone who suffers from depression, a chemical inbalance in the brain, I empathize with your sister. I hope you continue to support her and I will pray that her fiance supports her too. Hopefully someone day people will understand that depression is a medical issue. My prayers are with you and your family.
 
I’d sit them both down and say that his family has no right to decide who he marries and has no right to judge your sister for a condition that she has no control over…they are shallow people.
 
Check out the book “Toxic In-Laws” by Susan Forward. You can find it on bn.com You may want to give it to your sister.

The problem here is with her fiance’s parents. I assume your sis’s fiance is an adult and his parents don’t have a right to demand anything. It sounds like they are being controlling. He needs to stand up to them and tell them to butt out. He can’t be afraid of causing problems in his family. Now is the time for him to separate himself from his family and cleave to his wife. Our Engaged Encounter priest called that “differentiation.”

It will be tough but it will be OK.
 
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pittsburghjeff:
The problem here is with her fiance’s parents. I assume your sis’s fiance is an adult and his parents don’t have a right to demand anything. It sounds like they are being controlling. He needs to stand up to them and tell them to butt out. He can’t be afraid of causing problems in his family. Now is the time for him to separate himself from his family and cleave to his wife. Our Engaged Encounter priest called that “differentiation.”
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And if he is unable to stand up to his parents and cleave to his wife, then I second what Cove posted- that Theresa’s sister will be better off in the long run, regardless of how painful it would be now.
 
In the end it’s his decision, and if he’s going to let his family influence him like that or if he personally has a problem with the depression then it’s probably best that this comes out now then after they are married. Does she really want a husband who is so weal that he is not willing to stand up for her?
 
Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut. This is such a difficult situation. It seems like I’m watching a soap opera rather than dealing with a real family situation. Life can sure be tricky, can’t it? Thank you for the prayers. These people need all the help they can get right now. God bless you all. Theresa
 
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