Engagement preparation?

[vatoca]

My boyfriend and I have both reached the point in our relationship where we know we’ve found “The One.” Recently we’ve been thinking, talking, and praying about getting married, and we want to make sure we are properly prepared to become engaged. We are both practicing Catholics. I’ve seen many websites, books, and other resources for couples discerning marriage and I don’t know where to start. I have a couple questions about this. First, how prepared do we need to be before engagement? Is there even such a thing as “engagement preparation”? Finally, are there any resources you would recommend? Thank you for your time!

 

[His_helpmeet]

My boyfriend and I have both reached the point in our relationship where we know we’ve found “The One.” Recently we’ve been thinking, talking, and praying about getting married, and we want to make sure we are properly prepared to become engaged. We are both practicing Catholics. I’ve seen many websites, books, and other resources for couples discerning marriage and I don’t know where to start. I have a couple questions about this. First, how prepared do we need to be before engagement? Is there even such a thing as “engagement preparation”? Finally, are there any resources you would recommend? Thank you for your time!

Engaged Encounter is a program designed for engaged couples and those considering engagement, to prepare them for marriage. My parents went to one before they got engaged.

There are also dozens of wonderful Catholic and Christian texts on marriage. Archbishop Fulton Sheen wrote a book called “Three to Get Married” - you might consider this.

Engagement is not something to be taken lightly, certainly. DH and I knew we wanted to get married months before we were formally engaged.

 

[Catholic1954]

Make an appointment with a priest; he will have many resources to help you. Congratulations!

 

[siena_avila]

Hi! What a blessing to each other to deepen your discernment! My fiance and I were in the same boat last summer. We were discerning engagement, what that meant to us, and eventually what marriage to each other could be like (and if that was the vocation God was claling us to). We got “Just Married: The Catholic Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the First Five Years of Marriage” by the Popcaks. While written with newlyweds in mind, so many of the topics and exercises could be done by the engaged or the discerning-to-be-engaged. Practical tips, spiritual reflections, and even analysis of common relationship squabbles…great springboards for discussion. My only critique of it is that I felt like it didn’t address how potentially having children right away could affect certain things (most of the example couples/scenarios did not have children).

Despite that, it was frankly much better than the pre-Cana program run in my archdiocese. Such weak sauce. I’d look up the Engaged Encounter offered in your area—it comes down to the presenter couples sometimes. If you’re near the Boston area, I highly recommend their program, Transformed in Love.

And second to the suggestion to ask your priest.

I also just read a homily from St. John Chrysostom taken from a book of his writings, "On Marriage and Family Life, " and now I want to get that for us—once we’re done with “Three to Get Married,” that is.

Finally, always partake of the sacraments! Mass, confession. Go to adoration together and alone. Pray together and individually.

God bless!