Entering monastery with bad relationship with family

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Josephairplane

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Do you think its ok to enter catholic religious community or monastery when you have bad relationship in your family ? Lets say your parents are divorced, you dont have good relationship with father or mother ? What do you say ?
 
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I think that depends on what is meant by “bad relationship.” If the person aspiring to religious life sins against their parents by gossiping about them, treating them cruelly or with aggression, or willingly harbors ugly thoughts about them, I would like that person to confess and repent of those sins before entering religious life.

However, if “bad relationship” means “we don’t agree on things or don’t particularly enjoy each other’s company, but we’re cordial,” that’s a horse of a different color. You must love them, but you don’t have to like them.

I would advise someone in both situations to try to mend fences. Even if it doesn’t work, you tried. You give up so much to enter religious life, it’s good to give up any resentments and old hurts as well. You get to start a new life with a lighter load.

May the dear Lord bless and keep you!
 
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It’s possible that the rules may vary to a certain extent from one order to another. In any case, it’s up to the abbott or superior in each case to assess your suitability. You’ll just have to go through the procedures and see what they say. My hunch—though it’s no more than that—is that the family situation you describe might or might not be an obstacle, depending on how serious it is.
 
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Josephairplane said:
What do you say ?
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The truth. Mom, dad, I’m discerning a vocation to religious life. I’m looking at/speaking to the vocation director of/thinking of entering such-and-such monastery. Pause for reaction

Let it flow and be natural. Answer questions. Don’t forget tell them you love them (or if you can’t, that they’re in your thoughts and prayers). And if they react badly, still treat them with calm respect.

And if there’s anything else that needs to be said, you’ll know.
 
Well, it’s your life. Forgive and move on. “Once you’re an adult”, you have to make decisions for yourself. If you’re being called to the religious life then go for it.
 
I think try and make peace, if that its not resolved, enter the monastery knowing you’ve tried, pray for your family whilst in the monastery.
 
Depends on if that person is genuinely desiring to enter monastery, or is trying to use it as an escape from their family.
 
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