I think the problem with those of us who are older, and cradle Catholics, is that in many cases we were actively discouraged from questioning our faith. So we girded our loins and obeyed church teachings, not necessarily because we accepted them, but because we were told that is what we had to do. So we accepted the rituals and teachings of the church, but there was little emphasis on encountering Jesus.
I actually remember scoffing at Protestants for emphasizing a personal relationship with Jesus. When I heard things like, have you accepted The Lord as your saviour, my response was always I believe in the teachings of the church, of course I accepte the teachings of Jesus. Belief was presented to us as an act of will, not an emotional reaction.
Seeing belief as an act of will is a good thing, because it carries us through dry spells and moments of extreme doubt. But if we see faith only as an act of will, we miss a very important aspect of Christianity, a personal relationship with Jesus.
I was fortunate that during my university years I experienced a total collapse of faith. I found myself seeing nothingness, all the teachings and rituals of the church seemed empty and devoid of meaning. I was blessed to have encountered a very wise Basilian father during this period.
When I explained my collapse of faith, he reassured me that this was not a sin and that I was now an adult and could no longer base my faith on my childhood concepts. He told me my penance was to explore the teachings of Jesus by carefully reading the gospels. Then I was to examine the teachings of the church in the light of the gospels.
Reading the gospels lead me to a life changing experience with the transcendent. One day while riding the subway, reading a political science book, I was overwhelmed by an intense, overwhelming feeling of love and joy. I had two more stronger similar experiences, never during prayer, or in church, but in the most mundane places doing the most mundane things; washing dishes, getting ready fior school. These experiences became the backbone of my faith. I knew I had to be a Christian because the person I was encountering was Jesus. I then took several theology courses, exploring various Christian denominations. My conclusion was that despite its many human flaws, the teachings of the Catholic Church are most in keeping with Jesus’ gospel message.
I have really never looked back. When I began to read the works of pope Benedict, I saw in his writings a clear, well formed expression of the faith I had stumbled upon. I have since found his writings a great source of strength. I have also found that what pope Francis is teaching is very much in agreement with the writings of Benedict.
The Holy Father (Benedict ) went on to apply St. Bernard’s message to modern Christianity, stating that “faith is first and foremost an individual and intimate encounter with Jesus, it means experiencing His closeness, His friendship, His love. …At times we think we can resolve the fundamental questions about God, mankind and the world using only the power of reason. St. Bernard however, solidly rooted in the Bible and the Fathers of the Church, reminds us that without a profound faith in God, nourished by prayer and contemplation, … our reflections upon the divine mysteries risk becoming a vain intellectual exercise and lose their credibility.”
examiner.com/article/pope-benedict-faith-is-first-and-foremost-an-individual-encounter-with-jesus
