Evangelizing and the Sacraments

[jeaniemarie]

I have many friends who love God and are not Catholic or who have fallen away from the Church. I am excited about sharing the faith with them but I’m having a dilemma of sorts. Many of these friends are in second marriages or are the second marriage for their spouse. I feel like to draw them into a place where they are interested in the Church only to eventually be told that they cannot participate in the sacraments is dishonest.

I realize that we must speak the truth and it is never wrong to cooperate with the Holy Spirit in drawing others closer to God through His church but it seems kind of mean.

Am I correct in my thinking? Have any of you experienced this? How do you handle it?

Please bear with me - this isn’t worded quite right but it’s the best I can do for now.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I have many friends who love God and are not Catholic or who have fallen away from the Church. I am excited about sharing the faith with them but I’m having a dilemma of sorts. Many of these friends are in second marriages or are the second marriage for their spouse. I feel like to draw them into a place where they are interested in the Church only to eventually be told that they cannot participate in the sacraments is dishonest.

I realize that we must speak the truth and it is never wrong to cooperate with the Holy Spirit in drawing others closer to God through His church but it seems kind of mean.

Am I correct in my thinking? Have any of you experienced this? How do you handle it?

Please bear with me - this isn’t worded quite right but it’s the best I can do for now.

No it is never wrong to attempt to help someone see their error and what they might need to do to correct it.

If we see someone turn down a dead end road with a cliff at the end it would be wrong to say “Have a safe trip and be careful” , without shouting “Wrong way, Stop!”

We should not wish someone well, on their way to Hell!

 

[thomasf]

I agree we need to stay honest to the truth and try to bring people to the church. But it IS a tricky situation. So many people have married and divorced and remarried, etc. They’ve put a barrier between themselves and Jesus’ church from the start, because they’ve listened to the world. I have a friend who has been married 3 times. I’m always trying to draw her to the church, but I often wonder what would happen if she did decide to convert. She’d be stuck.

 

[LilyM]

I agree we need to stay honest to the truth and try to bring people to the church. But it IS a tricky situation. So many people have married and divorced and remarried, etc. They’ve put a barrier between themselves and Jesus’ church from the start, because they’ve listened to the world. I have a friend who has been married 3 times. I’m always trying to draw her to the church, but I often wonder what would happen if she did decide to convert. She’d be stuck.

No. If need be she could get un-stuck by ending her current relationship and stopping the fornication which, however legal it may be, very likely isn’t marriage in the eyes of God. Painful, indeed, but worthwhile for the sake of her immortal soul.

 

[jeaniemarie]

Thank you all for your responses - they have been helpful. I needed to change my perspective on it.

If we see someone turn down a dead end road with a cliff at the end it would be wrong to say “Have a safe trip and be careful” , without shouting “Wrong way, Stop!”

I was thinking of it more in terms of inviting them to a great feast and even letting them sit at the table but not allowing them to eat.

Thanks for the adjustment!

 

[Genesis315]

The problem is abstinence is considered an impossible sacrifice today–but many saints have ceased sexual relations while remaining with their “spouse” to take care of children, etc. St. Catherine of Genoa comes to mind. Likewise, many Christian converts in polygamous cultures have had to sacrifice and break off relationships in order to be faithful.

Sometimes love takes difficult and painful sacrifice–how do we help people to understand that? I don’t know–if God-made-man bleeding and hanging on a Cross is not enough, is anything?

 

[jeaniemarie]

Sometimes love takes difficult and painful sacrifice–how do we help people to understand that? I don’t know–if God made man bleeding and hanging on a Cross is not enough, is anything?

Wow!

 

[jombiki]

Thanx for allowing me to join the CAF. I just came by it as I was browsing the internet on YCS Movement, being a patron of the same in our school and Secretary of the same in Meru Diocese, Kenya, East Africa. It is a blessing to me since I will be able to communicate & interact with my fellow Catholics. Otherwise, I will share more as we continue.
Christ thy kingdom Come!
Joseph.

 

[mangy_dog]

I have many friends who love God and are not Catholic or who have fallen away from the Church. I am excited about sharing the faith with them but I’m having a dilemma of sorts. Many of these friends are in second marriages or are the second marriage for their spouse. I feel like to draw them into a place where they are interested in the Church only to eventually be told that they cannot participate in the sacraments is dishonest.

I realize that we must speak the truth and it is never wrong to cooperate with the Holy Spirit in drawing others closer to God through His church but it seems kind of mean.

Am I correct in my thinking? Have any of you experienced this? How do you handle it?

Please bear with me - this isn’t worded quite right but it’s the best I can do for now.

I have experienced this and the best approach is to be “up-front” about what the church teaches.

Example: “yes you’d be able to attend mass, but instead of recieving communion, you would cross your arms over your chest. This would let the priest know that you cannot recieve the Body of Christ but you want a blessing.”

Being up front is the best policy. I have used this approach and gotten “re-married” or divorced catholics to return to the church and have them follow the rules to their bad decisions.

Hope this helps.
Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum.

 

[Dismas2004]

It’s not that they wouldn’t be allowed to eat…they would just have to WAIT to eat. This is not the same thing.

The church has ways to help them. If they are really called to the Catholic church then hopefully they will find a good priest who can help them sort through things, well worth the wait!!!

You are a good friend to care so much. Not only do you care about their faith, but you care about their feelings as well. You must be a joy to know. God bless you.

Right on. We have to think of the situation differently, it’s not an “either or” situtation. It’s a “first, and then” situtration. The TRUTH is never imposing, except on sin and it is never disheartening except those fallen deep in sin. Keep the faith and as JP II says, Be not afraid!

Be a great wirtness, St. Francis of Assisi said “Preach the Gospel everywhere and if necessary, use words.”

 

[puzzleannie]

jsut heard a discouraging word from deacons who are also DREs, my colleagues. they, like our parish, do everything to encourage parents of children in our programs to marry or convalidate marriages and regularize their living situations, and return to the sacraments. Unfortunately, and they know this, I don’t since I don’t do marriage prep, many of these “unions” are not headed for valid marriage since there is no intent on either or both sides, and other conditions are not present for a valid marriage. Very common are the attitudes that they do not need to marry to raise a family, that they do not intend to have more children, that they don’t want to marry in the church, although they are married civilly to secure legal rights, because they want an “out” if they later divorce. People do know the law better than we think, and in human fashion, want to use the law to their advantage.

the bottom line is that the Eucharist is not appreciated in its fullness, and it keeps coming back to strong catechesis, backed up by actual pastoral and sacramental practice, to restore the centrality of that belief.

since their first point of entry is going to be their child’s sacramental program, that means what goes on there as the children AND parents and sponsors are taught is critical. that is why most parishes demand padrinos take classes, even tho padrinos are not necessary for first communion, so that more adults will be receiving this teaching.

bottom line for OP, anything you can do to bring people within reach of hearing the message is a good thing. just understand the limits of your own abilities, and the infinite abilities of the Holy Spirit.