Evangelizing the dying

[Tezza]

Hi all,

I have been feeling more and more distressed regarding my work as a hospice nurse and role in evangelizing the dying 1) because of my lack of courage and 2) because it is a secular institution.

I have had several patients lately who have died as professed atheists or at least hostile toward religion. One man, an ALS patient who I enjoyed tremendously for his personality, came in the door asking if this was a religious institution because of his anti-religious sentiment. When that is the case, I tend to cower, maybe saying like “I’m praying for you” but that’s the extent of it (and I do pray). I had another patient, who I also loved dearly, who when you mentioned prayer, shrugged it off, thus me again retreating from any spiritual conversations. My latest patient, who’s best friend is a Church of Christ pastor, has apparently rejected any kind of pronounced “declaration of faith” according to his friend of 30 years. After praying for courage from the Holy Spirit, the most I said was asking him how he was dealing with dying and if we were doing everything he needed. I then said something like, “Can I tell you something? There’s more than this life. I know it with all my heart, and it’s more beautiful than anything we experience in this life.” I didn’t mention Jesus specifically or needing to repent.

I have felt more and more anxiety with thoughts such as, “what if I’m the last chance this person has before death?”" what if praying for them isn’t enough?" “what if I’m held accountable for ‘all I have failed to do’?” “what if I get in trouble at work if, by some miracle, I do become bold in proclaiming my faith?”.

I have always tried to live my faith by example, showing kindness and love, but I’m also feeling that’s kind of a copout when the stakes are so high.

I do pray the Three Prayers for the Dying from the Pieta Prayer Book. Anyone familiar?
all-catholics.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-three-very-beautiful-prayers_4589.html
I don’t know if these prayers have the imprimatur and they claim to save anyone who is dying if read over them, though I don’t understand how this is possible because it would supersede free will.

I know I’m rambling and there’s a lot here, but I would appreciate some advice and perspective. Thank you and Happy Advent.

Tezza

 

[AndrewRuki]

Peace be with you sister.
I am not in the best position to offer advice. However, I would like to offer my support and encouragement to what you do.

“What if you are held accountable…?” I do not believe in a god who ticks off a check list of everything we did not or could not do. I believe in God the loving Father, who wants us ever nearer to Him and will forgive at the drop of a hat. I am certain that you will be received with all the love you can handle (and more) when your time comes, which I believe to be a long time hence.

I pray that you continue doing what you do, live the Gospel and carry the Risen Jesus in your heart. People will see Him in you and recognize Him. This is louder than any word that we can say. I know this as I too follow this.

Dominus vobiscum.
Andrew.

 

[crystal_waters]

Pray the divine mercy chaplet for them (even in private if you cant do it in from of them) and offer it up to God and explain to God that you are worried about these people and want God to grant them a happy, holy and peaceful death, a happy and merciful judgement after death, and eternal salvation and everlasting life in heaven…and ask God to grant each of the patients every grace they need ,

 

[Viki63]

Tezza, I hear your concerns. I’m a nurse too, and at times fear to speak up. Also I work for a secular institution,
But I am surprised at how many people will bring up their faith in God and Jesus as one of their strengths. And once they mention it, I can also speak up.
Sometimes I ask “how is your spiritual health?” because that is actually something nurses are supposed to do, It’s as important if not more so than their physical health, so I ask it as I would ask about their social, emotional or financial health. (Actually, their financial health is none of my business, unless they can’t afford their medications.)

I think over time you will become more comfortable speaking about God. You could ask, in a quiet moment, if they have expressed fears or questions, “is it all right if I pray for you?”
I once had a patient who was very fearful; she had cancer, and kept coming to the nurses’ station asking more and more questions. Something made me ask, “you’re afraid to die, aren’t you?”
She admitted she was, and when I suggested she talk to the chaplain, she said she already had and it was all touchy-feely, not very useful advice.
Back then I was a protestant, and I offered to come sit with her and show her the path of salvation. So I did, you know, the bridge crossing metaphor, and she accepted Christ. I gave her a New Testament.
After she died her husband gave it back to me and said it had been a great comfort to her,

Now, I’m a coward, and it was the Holy Spirit that orchestrated that whole scenario.
Just be open to Him, and he will help you do what he wants done.
God bless, for all the kind work you do.

.

 

[300WhiteKnights]

Hi,

Im not much in a position either for offering advice. I am familiar with the fear of speaking up about faith, I find myself in similar situations where I want to witness at my university I but am afraid to do so. However, I do have something that might help you.

One thing that I have discovered about witnessing to the faith is this principle “the more you do it, the easier it becomes.” When I think of this, I think of the words of a former president “Do what you fear and fear disappears.” Those words are very true.

In fact, I even tried to overcome my fear of witnessing to the faith by asking cashiers if they would like a prayer card. It was terrifying at first, but the more I did it, the easier it became. The same happened with a spiritual book that I hand out to people who are spiritually curious. Terrifying at first, way easier the more you do it.

So start with the last posters advice and ask professionally “and how is your spiritual health?” If you find yourself too afraid to follow up a conversation, or steer it where you want it to go, don’t lose your peace and feel like you have failed. God uses failures to help us grow. Just offer up each failure to God and then try again. Be patient with yourself. At least, this is what I did when I was too afraid to ask a cashier if they wanted a prayer card.

So my advice is: keep trying! It will become easier.

Also, the more time you spend in prayer, the better enabled you will be to face this. Remember what Jesus said “I am the vine, you are the branches, whoever is not connected to me will wither.”

We can read this as saying that quality prayer time and connecting to God is essential to bringing that life to others.

I will be praying for you! God is very pleased that you are doing your best and understands your difficulties. He will also be with you as you overcome them.

Just say to Jesus, “Lord, you know that I am completely incapable of talking about you, please fill me with your grace and talk to this person for me.” This is what I say to Jesus when faced with these situations.

You are in my prayers.

 

[300WhiteKnights]

Also, one more thing I forgot to add:

You are in good company. While i was in Spain, I came into contact with a religious community made up of priests and sisters. The sisters sometimes worked in hospitals and went from room to room, uninvited, to talk with the patients about spiritual things.

They admitted that It could be hard, and at times were not sure what to say for each situation. They also said sometimes they were met with outright rejection. It didn’t sound like they were pros, or that every person they visited had a conversion. So just know, that there are even female religious out there are suffering through similar types of problems that you are going through.