Ever been betrayed

[Mr_Lonely]

If you found out that you had betrayed someone you considered a brother in Christ, intentionally or not, what would you do? I am struggling with the notion that a devout, practicing Catholic can be so indifferent to others, especially someone they may have considered a friend at one time. I realize, none of us are perfect, but does that imperfection give us excuse to persecute?

 

[mommamaree]

Are you asking if anyone has ever been betrayed, or if anyone has ever betrayed another? I just want to make sure I understand which perspective.

 

[Annie39]

If you found out that you had betrayed someone you considered a brother in Christ, intentionally or not, what would you do? I am struggling with the notion that a devout, practicing Catholic can be so indifferent to others, especially someone they may have considered a friend at one time. I realize, none of us are perfect, but does that imperfection give us excuse to persecute?

That depends on what you are calling betrayed. I have been in a very difficult position where I had to stand by someone against another person who I was very close to because it was the morally right thing to do. To this day she does not speak to me. I can’t say that I care much. I do miss the days when we were close however. There isn’t enought info in your post to comment further however.

Annie

 

[Irishmom2]

I realize, none of us are perfect, but does that imperfection give us excuse to persecute?

While it may give someone an excuse, that doesn’t make it okay to do, of course.

I suppose if you knowingly betrayed someone, you could apologize and think about what your own excuse was to think it was okay.

I think perhaps your question sounds more like you were at the receiving end of the betrayal though? You could ask the “friend” why they did something so hurtful. You may find that they were unaware, or that they will try and justify what they did. Either response will let you know if they are truly a friend or not.

Personally, I don’t confront people on such things. If what they have done is so strong of an act of betrayal, I probably wouldn’t want to talk to them anymore no mater what their “excuse” is.

 

[Karen107]

… So I might point out their error in a very tactful way, and if they don’t understand forgive them anyway. There’s nothing worse than holding animosity for a person so I think it’s best to air some of the feelings. We can’t change others behavior but we can change ourselves and the way we receive peoples actions in order to help make change in others. You might say something like ‘could this have been done another way, or could you rephrase that’? Jesus took the third position of neither firing back or backing off, but of standing ground yet turning the other cheek.

 

[Mr_Lonely]

Thank you everyone for your replies. I apologize for not being able to reply sooner.

To clarify, the post was addressed to those who have been the “betrayer”. Sorry if the header was misleading.

It’s tough being a person of faith, let alone a devout Catholic. What hurts is when other Catholics, who you at one point considered to be a brother or sister, is on the other end of the betrayal. What’s worse is that they act like the did nothing wrong and continue to betray you. From an evangelization standpoint, this is what causes people to turn their backs to the Message, or makes the faithful walk away from community. I’d like to believe that if you give your hear to Christ, it’s not who’s right that matters, but rather what’s right.

As Mother Teresa once wrote in her famous “Do it Anyway” poem, “In the final analysis it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

But it still hurts…

 

[Christy_Beth]

This has been a matter at the back of my thinking for awhile as well. I haven’t had to actually “betray” someone, but often think of what might I do if the need arises. I pray that I would have the courage to first of all tell the person what is wrong and give them a chance to correct the matter. If that doesn’t work, then I would call in anyone who might be able to handle the situation. As Jesus said, if we have something against someone, we are to speak with them about it. If that doesn’t work, take along two or three others and confront them again. If that fails, then go to the Church and let them decide what needs to be done. I don’t like the term narc, but sometimes it’s necessary, especially if someone’s safety is at risk. This would include physical, mental, emotional and spiritual risk. But I know it’s a tough decision to make, and the fall out can be bad. I once had a situation where I did the right thing, but so many people avoided me for a long time after that. And that really hurt.