Everything I do, I feel is a Sin

[WillToChange]

Let’s start with the basics:

Im a 19 year old male and I masturbate. I’ve been all over the web looking for answers and I haven’t really gotten any. I wish I could stop, but I cant help the urges. After I do it, I cant help but think I’m Sinning and going against God’s will. I’ve also had sex too and I realize that’s a Sin as well. I just want God to forgive me and I want Him to know how sorry I am. I don’t want to Sin but I can’t help but think everything I do is one. Any advice you guys have is helpful!

On a side note I’ve recently had thoughts of getting confirmed. I don’t know how to go about that and if someone could help that would be great!

I’m also new to the forums and still getting used to things!

 

[byzantium]

I too fell into masturbation, in my teenage years. Its a terrible habit,

The best way i have been able to overcome this is by praying the rosary every night before i go to bed. And trying to avoid being tempted.

The urges are somewhat uncontrollable. But they only last a few minutes and do pass. After a few weeks they do become more manageable.

Take one day at a time, and if you fail just go to confession.

 

[josh987654321]

.

Hi WillToChange, welcome to the forums.

Let’s start with the basics:

Im a 19 year old male and I masturbate. I’ve been all over the web looking for answers and I haven’t really gotten any. I wish I could stop, but I cant help the urges. After I do it, I cant help but think I’m Sinning and going against God’s will.

:sad_yes:
C.S. Lewis:

“For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back; sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides.

"And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman.

"For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no woman can rival.

"Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity.

"In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself. . . . After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.”

• Personal Letter From Lewis to Keith Masson (found in The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume 3)

Harem: Definition

A separate part of a Muslim household reserved for wives, concubines, and female servants.

A group of female animals sharing a single mate.
"C.S. Lewis:

“We use a most unfortunate idiom when we say, of a lustful man prowling the streets, that he “wants a woman.” Strictly speaking, a woman is just what he does not want.

"He wants a pleasure for which a woman happens to be the necessary piece of apparatus. How much he cares about the woman as such may be gauged by his attitude to her five minutes after fruition (one does not keep the carton after one has smoked the cigarettes).

“Now Eros makes a man really want, not a woman, but one particular woman. In some mysterious but quite indisputable fashion the lover desires the Beloved herself, not the pleasure she can give.”

• The Four Loves

I believe the danger of those men who grow to love the prison of pornography and masturbation, is that it changes the way they see women, instead of loving the woman, they learn mostly to love the pleasure they can derive from the woman instead of the woman herself, this in turn reduces the woman to a mere object, something to be used in order to satisfy their* ‘needs’ *as it becomes.

That’s why Bishop Fulton J. Sheen once said -

The very freedom which the sinner supposedly exercises in his self indulgence, is only another proof that he is ruled by the tyrant. - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

I also believe masturbation/pornography can also lead to other acts of sexual immorality as it is an addiction that never satisfies.

However I will leave it here for this side of things, as this is not what I want to focus, I have simply mentioned this because I believe it’s necessary to have an awareness of sin, to have a consciousness of it. As Bishop Fulton J. Sheen once said -

He who makes light of sin will make light of forgiveness, he who makes light of really serious wounds will never appreciate the power of the physician. - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, Life of Christ

&

He who has a consciousness of sin does not very much consider whether his sins belong in the five hundred pieces of silver category or the fifty, what troubles him is the fact that he has hurt someone that he loves, St Paul considered himself the ‘chief of sinners’ - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, Life of Christ

I’ve also had sex too and I realize that’s a Sin as well.

:sad_yes:

I just want God to forgive me and I want Him to know how sorry I am.

Jesus to St. Faustina -

"…Know that My Heart is mercy itself. From this sea of mercy, graces flow out upon the whole world. No soul that has approached Me has ever gone away unconsoled. All misery gets buried in the depths of My mercy, and every saving and sanctifying grace flows from this fountain…" (Diary, 1777).

"O soul steeped in darkness, do not despair… Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy…My child, listen to the voice of your merciful Father" (Diary, 1486).

Please continue to next post -

 

[josh987654321]

Continued from above post -

The Divine Mercy Image - St. Faustina

http://s8.postimg.org/422f1cyxh/Christ_9.jpg
The Message
How to Pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy

Jesus to St Faustina -

"My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire world. Who can measure the extent of my goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed myself to be nailed to the cross; for you I let my Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come, then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. Your misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy" (Diary, 1485).

**“My Heart overflows with great mercy for souls, and especially for poor sinners. If only they could understand that I am the best of Fathers to them and that it is for them that the Blood and Water flowed from My Heart as from a fount overflowing with mercy. For them I dwell in the tabernacle as King of Mercy. I desire to bestow My graces upon souls, but they do not want to accept them. You, at least, come to Me as often as possible and take these graces they do not want to accept. In this way you will console My Heart. Oh, how indifferent are souls to so much goodness, to so many proofs of love! My heart drinks only of the ingratitude and forgetfulness of souls living in the world. They have time for everything, but they have no time to come to Me for graces.” **(Diary, 367).

"Oh, if sinners knew My mercy, they would not perish in such great numbers. Tell sinful souls not to be afraid to approach Me; speak to them of My great mercy" (Diary, 1396).

"…who will proclaim My great mercy. I shall protect them Myself at the hour of death, as My own glory. And even if the sins of souls were as dark as night, when the sinner turns to My mercy, he gives Me the greatest praise and is the glory of My Passion. When a soul extols My goodness, Satan trembles before it and flees to the very bottom of hell" (Diary, 378).

"My Heart rejoices in this title of Mercy. Proclaim that mercy is the greatest attribute of God. All the works of My hands are crowned with mercy" (Diary, 300-301).

I would like to encourage you WillToChange to go to confession if you get a chance to, it Is a beautiful sacrament, it’s not something to be feared. There is an abundance of graces for those who partake in the sacrament of reconciliation (confession). And when you do, please remember the following

Jesus to St Faustina -

**"…when you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself entirely in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The torrents of grace inundate humble souls." **(Diary, 1603).

I don’t want to Sin but I can’t help but think everything I do is one.

http://s28.postimg.org/6bvy5pai5/Prodigal_Son.jpg
"Jesus to Catalina:

The Great Crusade of Love - loveandmercy.org/Eng-CL-Reg.pdf

4) …I would like to be presented like the prodigal son’s father who, aged by the pain of his son’s absence, keeps watch from a window with a small light of hope for the return of his beloved son. I live among all of you in the air you breathe, the water you drink, and the bread you eat, with all the grandiose work of creation that never ceases. In this manner I am among you all, alive, real, with the perpetual sacrifice of the Cross and the glory of the resurrection in each Eucharist.

Jesus to Catalina:

The Passion - loveandmercy.org/Eng-TP-Reg.pdf

I want to teach sinners that because they have sinned, they should not distance themselves from Me thinking that they no longer have recourse and that they will never be loved as before they sinned. Poor souls! These are not the feelings of a God who has shed all His Blood for you. Come to Me all of you and fear not, because I love you. I will cleanse you with My Blood and you will be as white as snow. I will drown your sins in the water of My Mercy and nothing will be able to snatch from My Heart the Love that I have for you.

Any advice you guys have is helpful!

When it comes to the habit of masturbation/pornography, I believe the ‘Hail Mary’ and especially the Rosary is a powerful weapon.

On a side note I’ve recently had thoughts of getting confirmed. I don’t know how to go about that and if someone could help that would be great!

I was raised in the Catholic Church so I am not sure exactly how to do that, other posters I believe will be able to help you, my advise would be to seek a local Catholic priest and ask him about it.

I’m also new to the forums and still getting used to things!

That’s alright, you’ll get the hang of it

I hope this has helped you

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[Viki63]

I recommend going to confession every week, or as often as you can, After awhile you will get so tired of confessing the same sin that you will really want to stop.
And keep in mind, we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, All the saints and angels in heaven are able to see you and me, even in the dark. That’s one thing that helped me give up some sins. I really didn’t want to continue in front of all those people, who are just as alive as we are.
Would you commit this sin if you knew Our Lady was watching? Probably not.
God bless.

 

[littlestsouls2]

God’s knows how sorry you are; everything good, including contrition and the desire to love God, is a grace from Him. Place your complete trust Him, meditate on the horror of sin, be careful to remove occasions of sins, ask for Our Lady’s help, avoid over-indulgence or sloth, go to Confession, persevere in prayer and don’t forget that victory comes from God alone. He loves us so much; it breaks His Heart when we commit sin. We must have great confidence, then, in His grace and love; otherwise our faith will become tedious and we will lack the strength and joy to persevere.

You are in my prayers.

God bless.

 

[josh987654321]

I want Him to know how sorry I am.

In the Old Testament, the people used to sacrifice animals, in order to show God how sorry they were for their sins. God told them in the scriptures and Christ repeated it to the teaches of the Law of Moses and the Pharisees -

"Instead of offering sacrifices to Me, I want you to be merciful to others." (CEV Translation)

**“I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” **(NRSV CE Translation)

This is how we make reparations to God for our sins.
Jesus to Catalina:

11) Mercy is love, My child. It is union with God and union with God is the certitude of victory and an everlasting abundance of virtues. Mercy is the unquestionable proof of love for Me.

God Bless you

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[josh987654321]

.

I hope you don’t mind if I share with you some tips and things that I believe will help you.
Extract from the book 'Imitation of Christ' by Thomas A Kempis:

Resisting Temptation

So long as we live in this world we cannot escape suffering and temptation whence it is written in Job: “The life of man upon earth is a warfare.” Everyone, therefore, must guard against temptation and must watch in prayer lest the Devil, who never sleeps but goes about seeking whom he may devour, find occasion to deceive him. No one is so perfect or so holy but he is sometimes tempted; man cannot be altogether free from temptation.

Yet temptations, though troublesome and severe, are often useful to a man, for in them he is humbled, purified, and instructed. The saints all passed through many temptations and trials to profit by them, while those who could not resist became reprobate and fell away. There is no state so holy, no place so secret that temptations and trials will not come. Man is never safe from them as long as he lives, for they come from within us - in sin we were born. When one temptation or trial passes, another comes; we shall always have something to suffer because we have lost the state of original blessedness.

Many people try to escape temptations, only to fall more deeply. We cannot conquer simply by fleeing, but by patience and true humility we become stronger than all our enemies. The man who only shuns temptations outwardly and does not uproot them will make little progress; indeed they will quickly return, more violent than before.

Little by little, in patience and long-suffering you will overcome them, by the help of God rather than by severity and your own rash ways. Often take counsel when tempted; and do not be harsh with others who are tempted, but console them as you yourself would wish to be consoled.

The beginning of all temptation lies in a wavering mind and little trust in God, for as a rudderless ship is driven hither and yon by waves, so a careless and irresolute man is tempted in many ways.

Fire tempers iron and temptation steels the just.

Often we do not know what we can stand, but temptation shows us what we are.

Above all, we must be especially alert against the beginnings of temptation, for every enemy is more easily conquered if he is refused admittance to the mind and is met beyond the threshold when he knocks.

Someone has said very aptly “Resist the beginnings; remedies come too late, when by long delay the evil has gained strength.” First, a mere thought comes to mind, then strong imagination, followed by pleasure, evil delight and consent. Thus because he is not resisted in the beginning, Satan gains full entry. And the longer a man delays in resisting, so much the weaker does he becomes each day, while the strength of the enemy grows against him.

Some suffer great temptations in the beginning of their conversion, others toward the end, while some are troubled almost constantly throughout their life. Others, again, are tempted but lightly according to the wisdom and justice of Divine Providence Who weighs the status and merit of each and prepares all for the salvation of His elect.

We should not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but pray to God the more fervently that He may see fit to help us, for according to the word of Paul, He will make issue with temptation that we may be able to bear it. Let us humble our souls under the hand of God in every trial and temptation for He will save and exalt the humble in spirit.

In temptations and trials the progress of a man is measured; in them opportunity for merit and virtue is made more manifest.

When a man is not troubled it is not hard for him to be fervent and devout, but if he bears up patiently in time of adversity, there is hope for great progress.

Some, guarded against great temptations, are fervently overcome by small ones in order that, humbled by their weakness in small trials, they may not presume on their own strength in great ones.

Please continue to next post -

 

[josh987654321]

Continued from above post -
Extract from the book 'Imitation of Christ' by Thomas A Kempis:

The Voice of Christ -

My Child, you are not yet a brave and wise lover.

**The Disciple - **

Why, Lord?

The Voice of Christ -

**Because, on account of a slight difficulty you give up what you have undertaken and are too eager to seek consolation.

The brave lover stands firm in temptations and pays no heed to the crafty persuasions of the enemy. As I please him in prosperity, so in adversity I am not displeasing to him. The wise lover regards not so much the gift of Him who loves as the love of Him who gives. He regards the affection of the Giver rather than the value of the gift, and sets his beloved above all gifts. The noble lover does not rest in the gift but in Me who am above every gift.

All is not lost, then, if you sometimes feel less devout than you wish toward Me or My saints. That good and sweet feeling which you sometimes have is the effect of present grace and a certain foretaste of your heavenly home. You must not lean upon it too much, because it comes and goes. But to fight against evil thoughts which attack you is a sign of virtue and great merit. Do not, therefore, let strange fantasies disturb you, no matter what they concern. Hold strongly to your resolution and keep a right intention toward God.

It is not an illusion that you are sometimes rapt in ecstasy and then quickly returned to the usual follies of your heart. For these are evils which you suffer rather than commit; and so long as they displease you and you struggle against them, it is a matter of merit and not a loss.

You must know that the old enemy tries by all means in his power to hinder your desire for good and to turn you from every devotional practice, especially from the veneration of the saints, from devout meditation on My passion, and from your firm purpose of advancing in virtue. He suggests many evil thoughts that he may cause you weariness and horror, and thus draw you away from prayer and holy reading. A humble confession displeases him and, if he could, he would make you omit Holy Communion.

Do not believe him or heed him, even though he often sets traps to deceive you. When he suggests evil, unclean things, accuse him. Say to him: “Away, unclean spirit! Shame, miserable creature! You are but filth to bring such things to my ears. Be gone, most wretched seducer! You shall have no part in me, for Jesus will be my strength, and you shall be confounded. I would rather die and suffer all torments than consent to you. Be still! Be silent! Though you bring many troubles upon me I will have none of you. The Lord is my light, my salvation. Whom shall I fear? Though armies unite against me, my heart will not fear, for the Lord is my Helper, my Redeemer.”

Fight like a good soldier and if you sometimes fall through weakness, rise again with greater strength than before, trusting in My most abundant grace. But beware of vain complacency and pride. For many are led into error through these faults and sometimes fall into almost perpetual blindness. Let the fall of these, who proudly presume on self, be a warning to you and a constant incentive to humility.**

Extract from the book 'Imitation of Christ' by Thomas A Kempis:

The Voice of Christ -

**Do you think that men of the world have no suffering, or perhaps but little? Ask even those who enjoy the most delights and you will learn otherwise. “But,” you will say, “they enjoy many pleasures and follow their own wishes; therefore they do not feel their troubles very much.”

Granted that they do have whatever they wish, how long do you think it will last? Behold, they who prosper in the world shall perish as smoke, and their shall be no memory of their past joys. Even in this life they do not find rest in these pleasures without bitterness, weariness, and fear. For they often receive the penalty of sorrow from the very thing whence they believed their happiness comes. And it is just. Since they seek and follow after pleasures without reason, they should not enjoy them without shame and bitterness.

How brief, how false, how unreasonable and shameful all these pleasures are! Yet in their drunken blindness men do not understand this, but like brute beasts incur death of soul for the miserly enjoyment of a corruptible life.

Therefore, My child, do not pursue your lusts, but turn away from your own will. “Seek thy pleasure in the Lord and He will give thee thy heart’s desires.” If you wish to be truly delighted and more abundantly comforted by Me, behold, in contempt of all worldly things and in the cutting off of all base pleasures shall your blessing be, and great consolation shall be given you. Further, the more you withdraw yourself from any solace of creatures, the sweeter and stronger comfort will you find in Me.

At first you will not gain these blessings without sadness and toil and conflict. Habit already formed will resist you, but it shall be overcome by a better habit. The flesh will murmur against you, but it will be bridled by fervor of spirit. The old serpent will sting and trouble you, but prayer will put him to flight and by steadfast, useful toil the way will be closed to him.**

Please continue to next post -

 

[josh987654321]

Continued from above post -

(On a side note, I would also like to recommend wearing a scapular if you are not already, Mary offers protection against temptations among many other things through it, I have the crusaders brown scapular from here - freebrownscapular.com/order_page.html)

I would also like to share a bit from a brilliant post by littlestsouls2 on another thread.

littlestsouls2:

“Do you believe that I can do this? If you believe, you shall see the power of My Heart in the splendour of My love.” (Our Lord to St. Margaret Mary)

Dear friend, “do not be afraid.” Grace will not be wanting to you if you persevere in prayer (which is a grace in itself). Grace is all–powerful; it is a participation in the divine nature. All of us – even the Saints – are weakness itself; we could not overcome a single temptation without God’s assistance. “You are she who is not,” said Almighty God to St. Catherine of Siena, “and I am He who is.” “Without Me you can do nothing,” said Jesus. But with Him we can do all things.

He loves us – He loves you – intensely; He grants us the grace of repentance – even after so many sins – because He desires our love, our union and our salvation. Remember to acknowledge and thank God for the many graces He grants you: good–will, repentance, contrition etc. In a word, every good you possess.

“The desire to love is love”; do not measure your contrition by feelings; true contrition is in the will. Have confidence in Him, focus on His love for you, and speak to Him with tender familiarity. Our Lord said to one of His servants: “My child, as long as you look at Me, you will love Me; as long as you look at Me, you will serve Me; when you do not look at Me, you will not follow Me.” When temptation comes, turn your attention with great calmness to the goodness of God which sustains you. Also, consider the purity of Our Lady and Our Lord. Pray the Three Hail Marys every morning and evening on your knees. Devotion to Our Lady and Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament is the sure way to overcome impurity.

There is no reason why you cannot overcome these temptations, as did St. Augustine, St. Margaret of Cortona and others. I cannot say whether or not you also require further assistance of some sort (e.g. medication), but the reality, either way, is that God provides for our needs.

Do not be discouraged. Listen to what Our Lord said to St. Margaret of Cortona, who had been a slave to sins of impurity for some time:

“I have set you to serve as an example to sinners so that they may learn clearly from you that if they respond to My inspirations, if they prepare themselves by the help of My grace to obtain justification, I am ready to show them the same mercy that I have shown to you.”

Our Lord also spoke many other helpful words to her, such as these:

“I do not wish you to examine your troubles or to count them, but I wish you to rest with them in the arms of My love.”

Take care, dear friend, and God bless.

And to conclude this post, I would also like to share with you some motivational tips that you can also use (however without God I believe they will be fruitless, but with God and especially the advise above, I believe they will assist you)

Motivational Tips to Help You Quit -

Keep the following 3 Ds in mind when you have a craving

Delay: remember that the worst cravings last for only a few minutes and will become even less frequent the longer you have quit.

Deep breath: this should help you relax and focus your mind on Jesus or Mary.

Do something else: Prayer, flee into the Virgin Mary’s arms by reciting ‘Hail Mary’s.’

1) A slip up doesn’t mean you’ve failed. What’s important is to work out how you can stop a slip up from happening next time.

2) Don’t say “this is my last time” say “I’m not going to give in today” and take one day at a time.

3) Each craving only lasts a few minutes. Say to yourself* “Don’t let this be the day that I blow it.”*

4) Once you have quit for a while, the desires to give in will be much less intense and frequent.

5) It’s important that it’s your decision to quit. That you want to quit and that you feel confident you can succeed.

6) Be clear about your reason to quit. It will motivate you to keep going.

7) The most dangerous thought you can have is. I will just give in this one time.

8) Remember the sooner you quit. The sooner you will reap the benefits.

9) The more times you try to quit. The better you will get at it until you quit for good.

10) Get rid of any provocative images etc anything that tempts you or reminds you of giving in (Otherwise It’s like those who say “I’m going on a diet” yet fill their cupboard with junk food) I believe you can’t rely on will power (as it comes and goes). I believe the best thing to do is to set your environment up so that it pulls for your success. Thus when you turn to God, there are fewer obstacles in order for Him to reach you.

11) Avoid challenging occasions.

12) If you are feeling tense doing some exercise will help.

13) The most common quitting method for most people is to stop suddenly Go cold turkey.

14) When you quit you might feel some different withdrawal symptoms This is because your body is re-adjusting to being without, don’t worry, it will pass.

15) And most importantly, Never give up giving up.

In regards to tip 10) there is a great piece of software called ‘K9 Web Protection’ which you can install on your computer. It’s completely free. www1.k9webprotection.com/

I hope all this has helped, sorry for the length.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh