Thank you for sharing your story with us all about celibacy. I took a private vow this year to remain celibate, and I too had lived a celibate life before taking that vow. Celibacy can be taken as a vow only to be broken upon marriage, or it can be as you said, a permanent and irrevocable promise and total offering to God, which is why I took a private vow. I may speak to my priest about taking a more formal vow (in his presence).
Has anybody else taken a vow of celibacy in the presence of a priest?
First of all, it is not necessary to make a vow to live out a life in celibacy in the laity. One can if one feels called to do so (spiritual direction). It is not necessary to make the vow with witnesses, even a priest. Nor is it necessary to have a Home Mass as I have done. Mine has been a very long journey indeed … and an up and down type of journey that has rewarded me more than I ever could have expected or imagined.
Even if one does make a vow or vows during Mass, the vow remains a private vow in Canon Law…even if one makes a vow or vows with witnesses, it is still classified as a private vow and one remains in every way in the lay state of life - not consecrated life.
I have made private vows of poverty, chastity and obedience - how to live them out (other than the possibly obvious) is incorporated into my approved rule of life (spiritual director priest and religious). I have a quite specific way of life. My Archbishop gave permission for a Home Mass for me to renew life private vows. His comment was “This is good way to do it”. My way of life is a very ordinary secular type of life - a sort of ‘face in the pews’ type of life (exceptionally ordinary) rather than seeking position in The Church of any kind, I am just one of the parishioners who helps out now and then like the rest. I do not make my vows generally known. My way of life is not to stand apart but to be with.
All in all my private vows are now over 30 years or so standing. Initially, I made a private vow renewed each year. Then I sought advice from a priest who knew me very well re making private vows to the evangelical counsels for life. He gave his approval, but I made my life vows very privately without witnesses other than Heaven. By that time, a whole way of life had just unfolded in my path.
At my Home Mass two years ago on the Feast of The Assumption I had family and close friends only present. Roughly 20 people. It was followed by a light supper.
I was married for 15 years before my marriage collapsed and subsequently, I was granted annulment. For me, celibacy was a journey in that initially it was not easy and a struggle, but as time passed, it became easier. At now 71years of age, I think probably biology might have clicked right in and even made it easier. I would not know for sure on that score - only that celibacy is now my conditioned state of existence in every way and does not bother me at all. In fact, it completes and fulfils me as much as I could be, I think, on this earth. For me, celibacy is not any sort of “don’t do” it is an entirely positive experience of giving to God and neighbour as a Joyful state of being - and The Lord returns “one hundredfold” and much more.
Celibacy in the final analysis is a gift from God - otherwise the simple fact is that it would be impossible to live out.
I live alone very happily and loneliness would have to be probably the rarest of the problems I could come across…very rare indeed and only in very short experiences, very short and quite rare. Patches I could count on one hand easily. The Cross.
Personally, I would certainly not advise anyone to consider making any kind of private vow or vows without sound spiritual direction and on an ongoing basis. Private vows are vows to God and hence a serious matter and the person is obliged to fulfil the vow or vows under the virtue of religion. Also, I would advise that one really understands what one is doing and why and what it all means in detail - hence spiritual direction.
Pope Benedict did point out that spiritual direction is not only for priests, nuns and religious - it is also for laity who take their Catholicism and spirituality, The Gospel, quite seriously. One might stumble along, as I do…
Mark Chapter 17
vatican.va/archive/ENG0839/__PW4.HTM
":Some scribes who were Pharisees saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors and said to his disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?”
17 Jesus heard this and said to them (that), “Those who are well do not need a physician, 11 but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners”
often before making any commitment, a person would of course discern such a life by trying to live it. Maybe that is what you are interested in doing?