M
Mamamull
Guest
I was going to post this under the thread of child with sleep problems, but I thought it was general enough to maybe help others.
I didn’t learn this concept until I owned a Jack Russell terrier and found her training needs to be most different from my other dogs.
Now to explain an extinction burst in human terms:
When we get on an elevator to go to the 20th floor in a building, we wait for the appropriate car, enter and push the proper floor button.
If the doors don’t close and the elevator doesn’t respond, we don’t just exit the car and proceed up the steps, do we? We push lots of buttons, repeatedly and firmly. If we had a hammer, we might consider using it, too.
sound plausible to you?
Ok, so when we are trying to change and usually get rid a behavior, we apply our discipline to the dear child or dog or whatever.
They return the loving gesture with the full force of their fury or cunning – with my kids it is whining.
Now we see this as unreasonable, possibly as embarrassing and want to make them stop. We may assume that our request was too much for them and reconsider how to go about getting that behavior to become as extinct as the tyranasuarus.
When what we really need to do, is take notes on the infraction of rules whilst the child or dog is misbehaving and either exact punishment through removal of privileges or whatever means one chooses.
In other words if you kid whines or tantrums or pleads and you try to stop giving them what they are doing that for – they will escalate the whining, pleading or tantrums usually temporarily until they learn that it doesn’t work any more.
We have to be stalwart and tell ourselves that we are good parents and the child is not going to be emotionally scarred.
I didn’t learn this concept until I owned a Jack Russell terrier and found her training needs to be most different from my other dogs.
Now to explain an extinction burst in human terms:
When we get on an elevator to go to the 20th floor in a building, we wait for the appropriate car, enter and push the proper floor button.
If the doors don’t close and the elevator doesn’t respond, we don’t just exit the car and proceed up the steps, do we? We push lots of buttons, repeatedly and firmly. If we had a hammer, we might consider using it, too.
sound plausible to you?
Ok, so when we are trying to change and usually get rid a behavior, we apply our discipline to the dear child or dog or whatever.
They return the loving gesture with the full force of their fury or cunning – with my kids it is whining.
Now we see this as unreasonable, possibly as embarrassing and want to make them stop. We may assume that our request was too much for them and reconsider how to go about getting that behavior to become as extinct as the tyranasuarus.
When what we really need to do, is take notes on the infraction of rules whilst the child or dog is misbehaving and either exact punishment through removal of privileges or whatever means one chooses.
In other words if you kid whines or tantrums or pleads and you try to stop giving them what they are doing that for – they will escalate the whining, pleading or tantrums usually temporarily until they learn that it doesn’t work any more.
We have to be stalwart and tell ourselves that we are good parents and the child is not going to be emotionally scarred.