F/U son with cancer

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Domer90

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I don’t know if we should do this, but he loves aviation, and there is a certain airplane he wants to fly. I feel we need to give him a fun break for a week this spring and forget the remission complications. He has 2 infections and a pulmonary embolism. We have 4 doctor appointments this week.

I looked into our intermediate unit to see if there is cyber school for sick kids. There is home schooling and with teacher help. He would have to leave his private cyber school, which he loves. I don’t want him to attend our public school. They have followed the trend of a girl can be a boy if she feels it is appropriate. He is dead set against that. In any case, we want to take him on the trip to lift his spirits. His chemo treatments have a strong likelihood of causing another type of lymphoma. Any thoughts? As always, thank you for the prayers!

Thankfully, my dad is safely near us, so I don’t have to worry. I just don’t know if it the right idea. Would it be a waste of money? Should we be more frugal? And this should be follow up between rock and hard place.
 
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He would have to leave the cyber school for you to take this trip?
 
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Domer90 said:
I don’t know if we should do this, but he loves aviation, and there is a certain airplane he wants to fly. I feel we need to give him a fun break for a week this spring and forget the remission complications. He has 2 infections and a pulmonary embolism. We have 4 doctor appointments this week.

I looked into our intermediate unit to see if there is cyber school for sick kids. There is home schooling and with teacher help. He would have to leave his private cyber school, which he loves. I don’t want him to attend our public school. They have followed the trend of a girl can be a boy if she feels it is appropriate. He is dead set against that. In any case, we want to take him on the trip to lift his spirits. His chemo treatments have a strong likelihood of causing another type of lymphoma. Any thoughts? As always, thank you for the prayers!

Thankfully, my dad is safely near us, so I don’t have to worry. I just don’t know if it the right idea. Would it be a waste of money? Should we be more frugal?
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Like Annie I don’t understand. Why would he have to leave school just to take a trip.
 
Hello- I’m not familiar with your son’s story but I am sure I can relate. My son is medically challenged/complex and we try to do all that we can with him. My son graduated from high school in June and we were able to take him on a nice trip. He got really sick later in the summer, recovered, and has been sick again though he recovered enough to take another trip. I’m not a doctor, but I think their are warnings about PEs and flying.
 
Is he okay with altitudes?
Blood clots and altitudes don’t always mix.
Check with his doc to get the okay, if his labs are in normal range he might be able to go.
 
0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
Is he okay with altitudes?
Blood clots and altitudes don’t always mix.
Check with his doc to get the okay, if his labs are in normal range he might be able to go.
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Ditto, if he has already had a pulmonary embolism the first thing I would do is clear it for sure with his doctor.
Even if it is a plane with pressurization…
 
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My apologies. He is on off semesters. We have medical clearance from his lymphoma doctors. Once he finishes his classes, he can take a week break and start up again. This trip is in. case he relapses. The school knows how sick he is. He will not graduate at 18. But the stress he is under from worrying about the cancer coming back scares him.
 
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Domer90 said:
This trip is in. case he relapses.
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Oh dear you MUST abandon this negative mindset. When our loved ones are knocked about by serious illness, they depend on the positivity and hope we can give to them. Those qualities contribute to healing. He is in remission so be grateful for that and live for today as if his future is bright.

If the doctors have given him approval to fly then take the trip as a celebration of remission! It sounds like you may have a tendency to rehash negative events over and over and that is a spirit eroding thing to do. Be positive and actively look for the positive in situations and the good in others and minimise the negative. Cut it off as it buds in your heart. Life is so much better lived that way!
 
If he loves the cyber school, maybe keep him there and find other ways to alleviate his loneliness? Seems to me you said a long time ago that he did have a couple of friends at school?
 
With respect, it’s not always useful to be told to be positive and hopeful. Cancer is a huge ordeal, and caregivers are under a great deal of stress. They don’t need the additional burden of being told that their feelings are bad or may create an obstacle to healing. It is wonderful Domer’s son is in remission, and God willing he’ll stay healthy as many young people with cancer have done, but it is most understandable that she feels she’s living under the sword of Damocles.
 
We are frustrated because he has had 3 big side effects from the chemo, and it seems like he just hits bad luck. But I rejoice every day he is with us.
 
Yes, he did, but they are slowly drifting because they are getting their driver’s license and DS can’t even practice.
 
Maybe there is a way for you to bridge that gap. Right now, they have driving and your son does not. Is there something else that could put your son on an equal footing: he can’t provide driving, but may provide something else?

Or maybe your son could at least get a learner’s permit? In my state, this does not involve an increase in insurance.
 
This often happens with kids who have severe, chronic illnesses.

At first there is a huge amount of attention and “pray for Sally” wrist bands and even benefit events. Then, they move on while the family is still in the trenches for years or even decades.

Have you asked about support groups though your cancer doc, the American Cancer Society, etc.? Nothing helps like talking to someone else on that road (same goes for you as caregiver!)

There are certainly groups out there online, I found this one on the first search:


Someone at the Diocese may know a family with a teen going through chemo whom your son can talk to.
 
One suggestion…if you do take this trip…a lovely idea…I would talk with the doctors about temporarily placing him on anti clotting meds to prevent any PE. If the doctors give the ok for the trip they may also feel he doesn’t need them or can’t take them but at least it will remind them of the risk. It would only need to be for a short period of time. But if they give the go ahead, enjoy!
 
Thank you for all the suggestions. We have follow-ups tomorrow with the specialists. So we will see exactly where he stands with his PE and other side effects. Thank you for all the prayers.

I’m not sure we would be able to learn if another teenager in our parish had cancer because of the privacy laws.
 
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